Wednesday, October 7, 2015

The IWSG is now in session

"Grab your coffee and a chair. I'm afraid if you smoke you'll have to go out on the porch. Has anyone got the minutes from the last meeting? Oh right, Shirley took them and she phoned and told me that she's quit the IWSG. She's not writing anymore. She's taken up becoming a tax accountant - less stress. Well, we might as well just jump into the meeting proper then. For you newcomers this is how we do it - we do a check-in and share with each other what has been our obstacles to writing and how we overcame them or (like Shirl) fell prey to them.  Maybe you'd like to start, Ernest? Then you can go out on the porch and smoke - I know you want to."

"I didn't have any obstacles. I wrote. The novel was in me. Like the bull. I conquered it. I am a man."

"Ooookay, Ernest. Thanks. Please use the container out there for your butts. How about you, Theodor?"

"One book, two book, find a hook. Do I like green eggs and ham? No. But I like to find a publisher in my hat. I am rich, rich I am."

"Well, that seemed straight-forward, Theodor. Seems you struggled with some of your plot elements but overcame them in order to satisfy your public. Very helpful. How did it go with you this past month, Agatha?"

"I simply had to find out who had killed my writing habit. I knew it was one of the people who had come to the village fêtes  on Midsummer's Day. Was it the vicar? He had told me that I needed to spend less time on my writing and more with the other church ladies getting ready for jumble sales. Lady Pomeroy was also a likely suspect. She felt that it wasn't lady-like of me to push sales, that I should sit quietly and let some man do it for me. Or was it that Belgian twit who told me I wasn't clever enough to write? I finally figured out who done it. I'll tell you after our meeting when we all meet for a sherry in the drawing room."

"Goodness, Agatha! You do make a mystery of everything. Very well. How about you Mr. Ondaatje?"

"Michael was working late into the night on his manuscript when he saw the woman wearing the WW2 ambulance driver's uniform steal across the lawn. She was holding the hand of one of the patients and they were whispering in a sort of elaborate code about a painting found in an alcove on the third floor of the estate the hospital had annexed. He left his desk (one he'd put together out of old lawn furniture) and slipped downstairs to see if he could join them for a conversation, or perhaps a bit of a bomb disassembling, or sex. He wasn't quite sure..."

"Hmm... Michael, interesting. I'm sure you'll share more when you get this plot worked out."  and whispers to others, " I'm not sure why Michael refers to himself in the third person, are you?" 

"Well, that's it for today's meeting - unless anyone else has anything to add. Oh! Silly me - I forgot to check in. It's all going as well as can be expected under the circumstances and considering everything that has happened. I'm doing my best to get off my case and onto my side. Well, not onto my side but on my side. Oh, bother. Meeting adjourned. See you all in November."


Margot Kinberg said...

Oh, I love this, Jan!! So true to life! Your characters are excellent, too. I want to come to your next session :-)

Hart Johnson said...

*giggles* You're too cute. I feel like Agatha... all these damn distractions killing the writing...

C.D. Gallant-King said...

I've never actually been to an in-person writer's group meeting but I imagine it's equally as ridiculous as you describe. Writers are weird.

IWSG October

Karen Walker said...

How creative - love this post.Best of luck with your writing, Jan.

Stubblejumpin Gal said...

As good as being a fly on the wall!

Anonymous said...

Haha.. great post! Glad everything is going well :)

- Madilyn Quinn @ NovelBrews

Stephanie Faris said...

"The novel was in me. Like the bull." I like that!!! It made me laugh!

Stephanie Faris
IWSG Co-Host

Mason Canyon said...

Now if all meetings were like yours I won't mind attending more. Great post.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

That was hilarious! And such a short meeting. I'm all in favor of those.

Misha Gericke said...

Hehehe loved this.

I hope your shoulder is feeling better!