The fruits of our labour

 Hello fellow insecure writers! 

Now it is August - such a wonderful time of the year in this part of the world. I can usually walk down the road and down the path to a tiny beach and have a dip in our bay, and the tomato plants are starting to fruit. I have about eight of them and they are over five feet tall and just a bursting with tiny tomatoes or flowers. The basil has gotten over being shy and is getting nice and bushy. The peas are just about all picked and we'll be taking down the old stocks. The garlic is almost ready to harvest too. We already got a huge amount of bok choy and I'm hoping my two or three squash plants will do their thing - early days for them. I'm going to look up what one does with an overly enthusiastic lavender plant too. In the flower bed the daylilies are going gangbusters and the hydrangea is starting to do its thing. The beautiful little snapdragons I started from seed are blooming and my tiny rose bush has two blooms on it. All is happy.

And yet...we have had quite the summer with environmental disasters. In June we had terrible forest fires in an area not to far from us. Many houses were lost but no lives. Our bags were packed for a quick getaway. The air was thick with smoke. And a week and a bit ago we had torrential rains in almost all of Nova Scotia. People were flooded out, many roads are still impassable. We had friends who'd driven from Indiana to an orchardist convention and they had to spend the night at a highway exit - unable to go in either direction. Four people died in the flooding, one adult, one teenager and two small children. Hearts are very heavy.

Because of this, I suppose, I have been struggling with nihilistic thoughts. It has been hard to get to my writing when I cannot imagine that it is of any use in a civilization that seems intent on destroying itself. The worst night of the rain storm I woke to hear the rain beating down as it had been doing for eighteen hours by then and felt such despair. No one alive today who has lived in Nova Scotia for seventy years or more has seen anything like it. The news tells me of people in North America dying from the heat because they are trying to carry on as usual. That notion that we can just keep on is not to me sensible in any way. Today when I sit on my deck and take in all the growth in my garden it is hard to imagine the fury of the fires and the pummeling of the rain. All seems so peaceful and fruitful.

Still, I go to my computer early in the morning, while it is still breezy and cool, and I write. I work on various projects - my second Nell book, and a book that I shelved ten years ago that I now realize is quite pleasing to me, and maybe deserves to be trundled out to the various publishers and so on. So, in fact, sensible or no, I carry on. 

How about you? How do you find strength in troubling times?

still crazy, still writing - another meeting of the IWSG

Calling another meeting of the Insecure Writer's Support Group!  What is the IWSG I hear you ask? Very straight-forward: HOW IT BEGAN:

Alex J. Cavanaugh, the founder, noticed a lot of blog posts from writers mentioning their doubts, concerns, and lack of confidence. He also saw the positive replies they received and realized that the writing community offered an abundance of support. Writers want to see other writers succeed, which is how he came up with the Insecure Writer’s Support Group. This group would act as a form of therapy, letting writers post about situations where they need encouragement, or to offer words of encouragement to others if they have experience.

On September 7, 2011, Alex launched the monthly blog posting of the IWSG and it has been going strong ever since.

On the first Wednesday of every month we share of thoughts about writing on our blogs. We also have an optional monthly question to assist with member's posts, which can be found on the Sign-Up page.

August 5 question - Quote: "Although I have written a short story collection, the form found me and not the other way around. Don't write short stories, novels or poems. Just write your truth and your stories will mold into the shapes they need to be."
Have you ever written a piece that became a form, or even a genre, you hadn't planned on writing in? Or do you choose a form/genre in advance?

Okay - a very good question.  I write poetry, plays, novels, and creative non-fiction. I have written only a few short-stories and when I entered them in contests the jury members would undoubtedly mention that there was too much going on and didn't I mean to write a novel? Well, yes I did. As to genre - mostly I just want to write a good story but out of my five or so mostly-finished manuscripts - two are mysteries, two are 'literary' (whatever the sam hill that is) and one might be YA - with another YA coming along. 

I like artists that bend the form - Michael Ondaatje started as a poet - did a sort of long-form poem/play (The Collected Works of Billy the Kid)  and is mostly now known for his wonderful novels. Kate Atkins wrote literary fiction and then decided mysteries might be fun and manages to go back and forth between the two. Margaret Atwood - novels, poems, essays. I like polymaths like Leonardo da Vinci - painting, drawing, sculpting, architecture, science, inventing. Or Benjamin Franklin (author, politician, inventor, scientist) or Joni Mitchell (singer, songwriter, painter). I could go on. But I won't - because I have lots to get at.

Here's a quote that works for me:

I certainly agree that putting everything into little genres is counterproductive. You're not going to get too many surprises if you only focus on the stuff that fits inside the box that you know. David Byrne

or how about one from Miles Davis:

"I'll play it first and tell you what it is later." 

And this is my favourite -

My family could only afford to get me the box of eight Crayola crayons, but I craved the one with all 24 colours. I wanted magenta and turquoise and silver and gold. Joni Mitchell

Me too.

Lucky lucky luck - or as I call it ' Pluck'

It's another meeting of the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Go to the link to see who has posted this month or to sign up yourself!

The Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

This month the optional question is:  Do you have any rituals that you use when you need help getting into the ZONE? Care to share?

Um...no?

Okay, let me elaborate - I have one ritual that I use in order to start writing. That ritual is to say to myself 

No one asked you to be a writer and there is only one activity that makes you one. Sit down and write.

Sure, sometimes it is tough to follow my own dictate, but I have found no magic formula for doing so. I wear whatever clothes I grabbed in the morning. Sometimes I have coffee with me, but it depends on what time of day I sat down to write. I don't drink coffee in the afternoon. I don't listen to music, because I'm one of those people who likes to listen to music when I listen to music. I don't understand background music. I never have. And I LOVE music. The other day I listened to a two and a half hour concert of Stephen Sondheim music (his 90th birthday tribute). I only listened and moaned and cried and laughed.

I don't have any specific writing amulets, though my writing room is full of tchotchkes ranging from little lead cows, to feathers, stones, bits of wood, a bed doll and various crooked knives and an ulu - but these are always here. Okay, okay...I did put the crooked knives on the window ledge so they would be particularly present, as the book I'm writing is called Crooked Knife, but truly that is not because I'm superstitious.

I am actually. Quite. But not about writing. The only voice I invoke is that of my father - who says 'bum glue' and 'pitter patter let's fly atter' and 'when the going gets tough, the tough get going.' Yes, he's been gone for nine years, but his voice carries.

Okay, now it is back to work I go. Only ten more days until this baby has to be delivered. Yikes!

Here is a very good luck rabbit that was on my front lawn this morning. He had four (FOUR!) lucky rabbit's feet.

May or May Not...

Well, here we are - firmly in the middle of spring. Ha! And at another meeting of the esteemed Insecure Writer's Support Group. If you are new here go to the link to the left of this sentence and sign up. Or just mosey around catching the vibe at other insecure writer's blogs. It's all good!

This month the optional question is 

"It's spring! Does this season inspire you to write more than others, or not?" 

Such an interesting question. I'm always curious as to what will encourage my writing or creating. I know that I write way more in November than any other time of the year but that is because of NaNoWriMo. Oh and in June if I follow the Burrower's month-long writing program. I like writing in both those months. Spring here isn't. We still have four or five feet of snow and the bay is frozen solid. If there are May flowers they are under a snowbank. Labradorians love this weather though. The bay is still frozen enough to take out the skidoo and head to the cabin and it is warm enough to not wear too much clothing (keep in mind this is relative). We don't have either a skidoo or a cabin feeling no need to leave the hurly-burly of North West River for peace and quiet. Yes, that is sarcasm. Sometimes I fall prey to it. I'll try and keep it in check.

This spring is a very busy one for me. I'm working nearly every day at the school and want to do that as we are heading home for good in July. We are selling this house and dividing up the things that belonged to my fella's mother between siblings and assorted relatives. I still am working on the memoir but I don't have a good chunk of time to do it in so find I'm not that enraptured right now with writing. I'm waiting to find out about the poetry contest I was short-listed for and generally rather antsy. I'd be good for short projects but nothing too sustained. When I'm working at the school I come home pretty depleted. I have a couple of other disciplines besides writing that I keep. I meditate for at least one session a day and that is no matter what else is happening. Yes, it has priority over my writing discipline. I also make art - draw, paint, and so on. That is a bit easier to fit in around a busy life. Writing, not so much.

Having said all that - the other reason that this spring is not so encouraging on the writing front is that although I like revising better than writing the initial draft - it is harder. November through to February I  let it all out with no design at all. Now I could work for a couple of hours and not be very far ahead. I'm struggling with my structure and that means a lot of false starts. An hour or half an hour won't get me where I want to get. I need to really spend about three or four hours a day for about three weeks. So it might have to wait until I'm home and unemployed again.

Who knows though - things can change around here in a heart beat. And I am chronicling my time at the school on my Sojourner in Labrador blog a little more faithfully - so there will be that to draw from too.

How about you all? Do the seasons motivate you or what gets your bum in the chair?

Another meeting of the IWSG already?

Yes it is! Wow - February flew! If you don't know what this group does go here and join up! We meet on the first Wednesday of every month and that is today.

Here is the merely suggested question for this month:

March 1 Question: Have you ever pulled out a really old story and reworked it? Did it work out?

Why yes, I have! I'm not sure what you would call a really old story - and I'm sure you mean one of my own really old stories but how old do you think I am? Okay. I am really old. For a dog. For a human I'm middling old. But I seriously digress.

I pulled out a short story that I knew had more in it because the readers of a contest told me (like they always do) that my short stories are more like novel intros. So I took that story and turned it into a novel. The story was about a mother who only incidentally to the plot had two children. I turned it into a novel which is mainly about the youngest daughter and the mother's step-aunt. I think the reason that I did this, because normally I'd rather just have a brand-new idea for a novel, is that the name of the youngest daughter was Pinky and she just insisted on being heard. Now that story is  (many many ) years later completely utterly finished and in the hands of a few publishers ! Ta da! So I think it worked out. I have a few (okay - four) novels that could use a good going over. I'm not sure I'm up to it as I'm now on to another novel but, we'll see. I think each story teaches me something whether it sees the light of day or not.

Another way that I looked at this question was to consider whether I've ever used an ancient story as the inspiration for something I'm working on. I can't remember any that have worked out but I am inspired by revisiting ancient fairytales, myths and so on. I'm totally impressed with what writers have done with the Archie comics in the television show 'Riverdale'. How they turned this lighthearted account of teen life in the fifties into a gothic story in a contemporary world is truly fascinating. Jughead remains my fave character!

This last month I didn't really work on my new novel though. I worked on two essays for a big non-fiction contest here in Canada. It was really great stretching my muscles in a relatively new way and as the word limit was 1800 quite a shorter way too. I'm very interested in the essay format and tried something poetic with one of my submissions. Hope I do well, but if I don't I still have two essays that I'm proud of. I've been reading lots of essay books. Here are some I'm currently reading  -View From the Cheap Seats by Neil Gaiman; The Wave in the Mind by Ursula K. Le Guin; and Hope in the Dark by Rebecca Solnit. 

And that brings me to my final thought for this month's meeting - reading good writers talking about their writing or the state of the world or feminism or anything in that line - well, it keeps the negativity at bay. So, writing companions, when I get down on my own output, I increase my input!

How do the rest of you manage, especially during these long pre-spring days? Truthfully, we don't have spring here - it will be frozen over until June. But I have spring fever still and a desire to get everything in order. I'm having my new hip surgery at the end of this month so I really want things tickety boo. I also took myself off social media (yes - that one which is not a dear face or a good book) which is giving me oodles more time. Which I spend writing, cleaning, drawing, cleaning, organizing and cleaning. Ha!

Here is a drawing I made of my dear home under a huge rainbow. 

The Insecure Writer's Support Group Meeting is in session.

IWSG - please go to this link to read other posts by writers or to join the group!

Good morning everyone!  How are you?  Here is a photo of the Point Amour lighthouse, the tallest in Atlantic Canada.  It is on the south coast of Labrador and the fella and I saw it a couple of years ago when we took that route home.

And why a pic of a lighthouse? Well, a lighthouse is one of emblems of the IWSG.  You might be sailing along very nicely, thank you, enjoying a calm sea and making great time on your voyage to publication, or to finish your third draft. Fine. But what if you find yourself in troubled waters? (Hey, I lived in Chester, NS - I can do the sailing metaphor for reams of virtual paper.)  

Perhaps you are headed directly into uncharted waters. You might crash on the rocks that surround Bay d'Espoir (really - Bay Despair - on the northern coast of Newfoundland). But wait! You see the light glimmering through the fog and waves. You hear the deep baritone of its foghorn. The lighthouse helps guide you through treacherous waters.

How does the group act as a lighthouse?

Well, it is made up of many people who have different abilities on the writing front. Some of them are published authors, some are just starting out and many are in-between.  ALL OF THEM are willing to extend a hand, point a way out of whatever fix you've found yourself in,and mostly to just listen, nod, and tell you to keep sailing. 

I'm feeling very hopeful right now. No - not about the state of the world, but writing for me even helps that - but about my writing practice. I'm taking two days off this week so I can spend four days working on my current project. In the weird way that I work I guess I'm on both a second or third draft and figuring out the ending. Yes! I have to go back and back and keep approaching the ending until it becomes clear to me. This is a mystery so that is kind of important! I have all the components - now I must put them down in a narrative that holds the conclusion. Fun!  I know if I get stuck and down on myself that I have a community that has my back and that is gold!

So - I wish everyone sunny skies and calm waters - but if you hit a squall let me know. I'll be there - shining my little light.

 Yes, oh my, it is time for another meeting of the Insecure Writers Support Group! Click the name and go to the site to sign up. It's a world of fun.

DECEMBER'S QUESTION: In terms of your writing career, where do you see yourself five years from now, and what's your plan to get there?

Jeesh - I don't only have to show up - I have to think. Five years, five long crazy years. Will I be back in Nova Scotia? I sure hope so. I suppose that isn't the question but my writing life is entwined intimately with my life life. In five years I would like to have three books published. Bright Angel will be first - I think it will be published in 2017. Next up will be the one I just finished the first shitty draft of - Crooked Knife.  The other one I'm less certain of - it may be one that I've already finished but need to polish before it goes a looking for a home - The Rock Walker.  It, like Crooked Knife, is a mystery and I have another one mostly done that has the same protagonists. It is called Earth Bound. Or I might try another of my literary novels - True  or Feckless.  Hard to say. Both of them need another go round though they are mostly ready. Or it might be a totally new one I'm brewing - Caribou Dreaming. That's going to be a graphic novel so needs a different approach. I like to learn new things. 

I would like to consider my poems too. Last year I wrote 65 poems for my best friend over the year. I finished in September and I really like them. They belong to her though so I'd have to see if she'd let me try and get them published. If not, I have loads of poems with no end in sight.

What a very fun topic this is. 

Now - how do I get there? One word at a time - whether it is a shitty first draft word, a revision word, or a selling package word. I feel really good about Bright Angel. It is out there and I'm not worrying about it. Oh - I haven't forgotten it - but I'm not stressing one way or the other. I know my package works and I trust the novel so we'll just see. Once it is published I'm well aware I'll have lots of work to do. No one handles the whole thing for writers anymore and I'm good with that. I was a publicist in a past life and I have no problem publicizing the heck out of that one. I like the story it tells and I think it is an important one. As to the other ones - I have to finish the one I just got up to 80 thousand words on. That will take me a bit of time - it is a holy mess. And then when ever I get bogged down on that I will polish on one of the other ones. Yep. A plan!

That's my plan - how about you all?

Good News is Welcome Too at the Insecure Writer's Support Group

I'm not a discouraged writer as I write this. I still want to feel the support of my peeps in this group, but I'm just saying - I feel pretty darn great. And it isn't that I've heard from a publisher or an agent. It's not because I can quit my day job and focus totally on writing. Michael Ondaatje hasn't offered to mentor me. It isn't any of those things. It's simply because I have been working on a revision of Bright Angel and I stopped for a couple of months for reasons I don't need to go into, and I went back atter AND I solved a big problem in what feels like a brilliant fashion. I didn't lose it - my focus, my connection with the story, none of it. I let it sit and ripen while still doing things that feed my creative heart - drawing, putting on a show, solving work dilemmas by thinking out of the box. When I went back in and got to the problem point (right near the end, sometimes called 'the climax') I fought it tooth and nail. I got tired and weepy and said it was okay as it was. And then I lingered longer. I stayed with it and pushed through and low and behold, while I was meditating, I got it. I could sing it from the rooftops - I feel like I'm a character on one of those Viagra commercials - or like I took off too-small hiking boots - I mean relief. R.E.L.I.E.F.  - you know what it means to me - sock it to me sock it to me... etc.

It is so exciting to make that breakthrough and to remember 'in my time' not anyone else's. In my time.
Thank you and carry on.
This is the One Thousand And One post.

Busting through Insecurity

If you are reading this, it must be August 5th and time for a meeting of The Insecure Writers Support Group. I'm trying to work with my mind on my insecurity these days. I don't find it helpful to hold a core belief that I'm "too old, too busy, too boring" to write anything worthwhile. How do I bust through this belief? I look for evidence that contradicts such a belief. I search out others who began their artistic endeavors when older than the norm. I found Grandma Moses who didn't start painting until she was 78 and ended up being considered successful by her nineties (one of her paintings went for 1.2 million a few years ago). Mary Wesley (The Camomile Lawn) had her first adult book published when she was 70. She was extremely prolific from her 70s into her 90s. That gives me hope, as I loved Camomile Lawn.
What about the core belief that I'm too boring to write anything worthwhile? Well, the truth is that I'm told I'm not.  I have led a wildly full life, travelled plenty on this continent and a bit in Europe. I've been married a couple of times, raised my own children and helped with the raising of a few others. I've worked widely too - from a nurse's aide in an old folk's home to a real lumberjack (official title - choker bunny), to a cook in a very good restaurant, to a psychotherapist, and many more in between. I've created plays and photos and gatherings. So... maybe I'm not boring, though an interesting life isn't the same as having something to say and saying it well. I suppose, when I feel the downward tug of insecurity, I must remind myself that I write because I write. I write to learn the world. It will have to do.

a photo of Prospect taken back a ways.

Bravado in the face of Insecurity...ha! I laugh at you silly nimbob!

Dear Ms. Morrison,

It has come to the attention of the Bureau of Risk Avoidance Maintenance that you have been feeling and expressing some measure of confidence. Agents of BRAM have heard reports that you told your writing group that you felt 'pretty good' about your writing life and that 'this was going to be your year'. We understand (through a careful analysis of your postings and visits to the mail box) that you are actively pursuing publishment of your ...ahem...writings.

We at BRAM wish to express the dangers inherent in such activity. Why if every writer took it into their heads to feel 'confident' and 'pretty good' what do you suppose might happen? It is for your own good, nay your safety, that you curb your desire to bring your writing out into the open air instead of keeping it safely locked down in a drawer or computer file where it belongs.

Counselling people to continue the healthy and SAFE practices of avoiding risk in all its forms is the mandate of BRAM. Here are the risks you will be exposed to if you continue on in this dangerous fashion:

1. You will receive rejections. This is a known fact. Very few writers put their material out to the public without suffering from some rejection.
2. That rejection may lead you to becoming despondent and you may miss important 'real' work because of it.
3. You may receive acceptances. This has been known to happen.
4. If you receive offers of publication or an agent desires to 'take you on' you may get giddy and drink foreign produced drinks such as tequila or Lagavullan.
5. Your possible acceptance may lead the public to expect more writing from you.
6. This will lead to possibly more rejection.
7. And most importantly - should you get published - people will see what you've been up to. Are you sure you want to risk that?

We here at BRAM hope you will take this warning to heart. Please go back to your hovel or attic or wherever you write and contemplate that a little insecurity now will lead to a much SAFER life. Bravado is ruinous.

Your Servant,

Ms. Edna Squelch,
BRAM secretary of warnings
   
I thought I would share this letter I got recently. What do you think? For more on the insecure writers support group visit Alex Cavanaugh and do a little blog hopping.