Wednesday, June 24, 2009

today I'm going back to do a workshop with that fabulous gang at the Community College. I haven't quite made up this workshop yet but it is going to centre on the concept of kindness. When I asked what the teachers thought the students could use I was told that 'manners' could use a bit of brushing up on. I don't care to discuss manners as such but I thought that manners as they relate to kindness might work.

the trouble is that I don't feel all that kind right now. On monday night I had a step-child confrontation and a sweet patootie confrontation - then I was up all night steaming with no place to be as the step-kid in question was down in the rec room which is my hide-out when SP is snoring up a storm. And of course when I'm steaming - snoring up a storm can be somewhat more like breathing in my hearing. So, no sleep then a crummy Tuesday including a bounced cheque from our tenants, a wash that SP did in which he neglected to remove a tissue from someone's pocket, finding out that Crow had flown over the fence in one of her very seldom forays off the nest and couldn't get back so the eggs are undoubtedly ruined, the fourth day of rain and so on. On top of it all my youngest came for dinner as he is moving to Ottawa next week. He was a spot of joy for sure but I doubt I was to him. So I hit the sheets at 9:30 and slept right through until nearly 7. And I do feel better today.

So, the thing is that I lost my kindness during all of this. I wasn't kind to anyone not even myself. I simply couldn't find it anywhere. I don't think that happens a lot - I hope it doesn't but man when it attacks it is fierce.

I will remember that when I'm talking to a group of young adults who have had many obstacles thrown in their path. For what is unkindness? I guess it is aggression which I believe is speed. If I could've just slowed down yesterday then I might have been OK. If my mind hadn't been screaming at me that everyone was wrong and stupid and I was right and deserving...well there you have it.

Now in kindness to myself and my dearest readers I will include a nice picture for you all.


Liz in PA said...

I just knew something had taken place - Karma.

So glad you are YOU again...cause I missed you!

....and yesterday is but a small carry on with humor and sunlight and happiness!

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a crap day.
Had one myself.
Yelled at step-kid too.
Lets swap lives..