Carrying On

I now call this meeting of the Insecure Writers' Support Group of Prospect, Nova Scotia to order!

I'll do roll call.

Is Jan the writer here?

    Here!

Is Jan the author here?

    'sound of crickets'

Okay then, is Jan the procrastinator here?

    Yes, I'm here. (mumbles something under her breath)

Is Jan the diehard romantic here?

    Yes, I'm here in my writing jacket with leather on the elbows and a pipe and a tumbler full of scotch.

Oh, I didn't realize that Jan the diehard romantic was a guy.

    Well...sometimes. Today I'm fashioned on Hemingway. Yesterday I was a starving artist in a garret in Paris. I was wearing a wispy gown and drinking absinthe.

Alright, moving on. Is Jan the business person here?

    voice of Jan the writer - "she is out trying to find Jan the author."

Of course she is. Finally, is Jan the householder here?

    Yes, but I can't stay long. I'm still trying to finish the decluttering in the writing studio, but Jan the painter is making that nearly impossible. Also, we have folks coming for dinner.

Okay. We have a quorum. First thing on the agenda is that Jan the author hasn't heard back from the publisher and can't give Jan the writer the go ahead to collaborate on the new query package. Who will contact Jan the A. and get her to write another blasted email?

    voice of Jan the diehard romantic "I will. I'll fill her mind with thoughts about what fun she'll have when her next book is published - that week or two when everything is rosy."

    voice of Jan the procrastinator, "I don't think she should bug the publisher just yet. Maybe after Easter would be better. Or Monday next, Monday is a good day to begin things."

    voice of Jan the business woman who has just come in the room, "No! It has to be done today. I couldn't find Jan the author anywhere. Think she's on a bender. I'll write it."

So do we have a motion?

    all speak up, "don't be crazy! If Jan the business woman says she'll do it, she'll do it."

Jan in charge looks abashed,  - Okay, next order of business. Jan the writer, I've heard that you aren't keeping up with your writing schedule? How can we help you?

    Voice of Jan the writer "You can tell Jan the householder to quit inviting people to dinner. And why do things need to be so clean?" (laughter all round) And Jan the painter needs to remember where she is in the pecking order."

    Voice of Jan the householder "You know darn well that every time you come to some plot point you can't figure out that you call on me to insist on cleaning the fridge or doing our taxes so lay off!"

Kafuffle breaks out,  "Order! Order!"

    Voice of Jan the writer "I think this meeting is over! I have a piece to write for the Insecure Writers' Support Group and then I'm working on edits in Butter & Snow so get lost."

I now call the March meeting of Jan's Insecure Writers' Support Group Prospect Division over.