Wednesday, July 7, 2021

 It's another meeting of the IWSG! (the insecure writer's support group).

Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

July 7 question - What would make you quit writing?

The awesome co-hosts for the July 7 posting of the IWSG are Pat Garcia, Victoria Marie Lees, and Louise – Fundy Blue!

Hello dear insecure writers and those who adore them,
As I write this I dwell in complete insecurity - I'm still waiting to hear the final word from a publisher about whether they are going to publish my novel, Crooked Knife, or not. 

It has been such an intense time and most of it not about my writing. A bit over a week ago a friend of mine died, myself and two other pals at her side. The four months since her terrible prognosis seemed to take place outside of time - either things felt dreadfully speeded up or tortuously slow. We were glad that we managed to keep her in her apartment and that the three of us were with her as she died. Now we are disposing of all her things, sorting, phoning etc... 

During her short brutal illness my newest grandchild was born. I could only see him a couple of times because we were in a tight lockdown. That has lifted and my time is slowly becoming my own again.

None of this, I hasten to say, do I have any regrets about. I regret my friend was in pain and died of course, but I didn't regret a minute of time that I spent with her. It was an honour.

But it meant that when I got an email during this same time saying that my book was being considered for publication it wasn't the thrill that I dreamed about since I was a wee sprout. I was excited but in a less exuberant way.  I suppose I have had a very intense course in putting things in their proper perspective. 

And that brings me to this month's question "what would make you quit writing?". 

Nothing.

Writing is how I make sense of my life.
At the end of this month I'm going off for a solitary retreat. I will practice the dharma and write a collection of poems about my recent experience.
Writing is how I know who I am. Why would I not want to find that out? It would be like giving up on myself.




6 comments:

Liza said...

I think writers are born with an inherent need to write. It's part of our DNA. It's our heart, our healing and our creativity, without which it would be impossible to thrive. You are right. Nothing can change that.Glad you are getting some time to process all that has happened in the past months.

Margot Kinberg said...

You've really been through such intense experiences, Jan! Congratulations on the new grandchild, and what a way to see how life ebbs and flows in this world. I wish you peace as you work through your friend's passing.

As to writing? I couldn't imagine myself not writing - not expressing myself in words, even if they are words that nobody will read. I understand exactly how you feel about that.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

So sorry about your friend. She didn't die alone though and that was good.
Hope you get some good news and are in a position to be excited about it.

Chrys Fey said...

I am so sorry for your loss. And I hope you hear good news from that publisher. Take care!

Gail M Baugniet - Author said...

Very sorry to hear about your friend, Jan. Best of luck with your solitary writing retreat and the publication of your book.

Nick Wilford said...

I'm sorry to hear about your friend. But the arrival of your grandchild is wonderful news. These are the things that put things in perspective, that let us know we need to make the most of life. I do hope there's good news from that publisher.