Jumping In 

My normal inclination is to leap without thought. Some part of me makes a decision and before another part of me can raise its hand to ask a question or two - I'm sealed, signed and delivered. Lately, I've been looking at the process. It appears to be quick but when I examine it I realize - no, no it isn't. Let's take my most recent choice re my writing. I am hooking up with a professional editor to do a read of the Crooked Knife ms. How did I come to this decision?

My process seems to be similar to the one Bella, our border collie cross, makes when selecting a place to lie down. She circles at least three times before finally committing to her choice.

The first circle I made was to consider which pieces of writing I wanted to engage with. Bright Angel is finished - at least to the best of my ability and that of a mentor I engaged a few years ago. I have a query package I'm happy with. I have had a couple of solid nibbles but no real bites - nothing has happened that makes me want to go back into revising - at least not yet. I have a few other manuscripts in various stages but my interest in them is minimal right now. The two projects that I still feel fired up about are Crooked Knife and my poetry collection Red Rover.  

My second circle was to decide between those two. The thing is I am still engaged with Red Rover.  I send out poems and sometimes the whole collection. Sometimes I get a bite - a poem is  published. It is slow but there is nothing for that - just a dogged (get it?) determination to continue. Those that follow me either here or in my circle of writing pals know that I came to a rather sudden stop with CK. I got stuck somewhere in the morass of clues and digressions. I thought it was due to not enough planning but then I realized it was fear - a fear based on the passion I have for the project and a desire to not mess it up. Having brought that to the forefront of my reasoning self I became somewhat free of the fear. So CK it was.

The third circle in my deliberations was to look online and among my circle for possible help with the messy thing. I contacted a number of professional editors and coaches that seemed suited to the project. One person stood out and I pursued it a bit further but there were a couple of problems. One was the usual - funding my big ideas, especially now when my shoulder pain has put me out of work. The other was the thought of sending an unfinished ms to a stranger. What an excellent exercise that was! I mulled and stewed and then came up with a solution. I would get at the ms myself and finish the first draft all the way through and I would ask for less of the editor's services than were offered. Then leap I did and the editor agreed and now I'm back, fully engaged with the ms and knowing that the deadline I imposed will be workable.

Today I began the work. Huzzah!