Saturday, June 30, 2012

Reaching Your Goal Syndrome

I wonder what the word 'syndrome' really means? Is it just a collection of behaviours that someone observes and decides is more important than, well, a collection of behaviours? For instance does my fella have 'see a falling-apart ocean vessel of any sort and have to have it and spend all my spare time fixing it syndrome'? Or he might say that I have 'buying stupid useless baskets at yard-sales syndrome'. I got three very nice baskets today for only three dollars! He doesn't understand but that's okay. Now I'm going to look up the entymology of the word 'syndrome'. Just amuse yourself for a few minutes until I get back.
whew! That didn't take long. I didn't even break a sweat...

 a group of signs and symptoms that occur together and characterize a particular abnormality
I went back without telling you and looked at more complicated answers but no matter where I looked it was the same really. It means nothing, just as I suspected. Every possible definition demands that you agree that these so-called 'symptoms' gathered together indicate an abnormality. Is it, I wonder, abnormal to be sent off to WW1 and come back with a nervous disorder or does it merely mean you were a sentient being? Just saying.

So I have a syndrome (which I've just said means nothing) in regards to finishing things. I feel sort of weird-like (symptom 1) and as if my hair has been in a tight elastic for too long and I've released it (#2) and restless (#3) and well, perhaps anxious (#4). I want to celebrate but am sure how to (#5) and I also want to immediately make a new bigger goal that encompasses the older goal and keeps me thinking about things that perhaps I should put my attention to - like bill paying and vacuuming under the bed etc...

All this to say that I did it! I wrote 50,000 words in June. Yes I did and they weren't even all the same word. Now I've decided I will stick with the BuNoWriMo crowd  (a bunch of us are) and continue on until I've got an 80,000 page first draft and then we'll see. I like what I've got and I never had the panicky - just make shit up - feeling I had the first time I did this sort of challenge. I like mostly everything I wrote though I'm well aware it will change and I will have to cut out big chunks of it which were just me telling me the story for the first time. Still and all, I am pleased.

Tomorrow is Canada Day. Me and the boat loving guy are taking out a canoe - I'm making baked chicken and potato salad - and we will go recreate our second date of exactly ten years ago - only it wasn't quite Canada Day so it must have been the day before ...hmmm...that doesn't make sense ...let me look at my book. Okay, I met him on the 24th which was a Monday in 2002 and we went out for a canoodle on the 29th. But hey, we are going out on the weekend following our first date so close enough. I made chicken and a potato salad he still remembers. He made coffee while we were on an island. We were both impressed although we weren't dazzled by each other at that point. We did manage to talk for the four hours we were together without feeling one bit bored so that was something. I love loving him in case you didn't know. Every day I'm so grateful that he is in my life.

Okay...so I'll get over the Reaching My Goal Syndrome soon I'm sure. There will be another to take its place.
And on Monday I'll start in writing again...
How are you spending the long-weekend if you're a Canuck? Or how do you deal with syndromes?

3 comments:

Liza said...

I think I may have the "What will I do with myself if it's done" syndrome. I hope you have a lovely day recreating your special day together!

Margot Kinberg said...

Jan - I hope you had a fabulous day on the boat! And congratulations on reaching your goal. I wonder if doing something we set out to do makes us uncomfortable because we have to put aside the sometimes-too-comfortable notion that we can't do it...

Jan Morrison said...

Hi women-pals - we had a most wonderful day out the bay - I'll probably post a bunch of photos on my other (sadly neglected) blog - Living the Complicated Simple Life.
Margot - I think you are absolutely correct - with my clients I call it Fear of Success - for if I can do this thing perhaps I can all those other things!