Saturday, April 14, 2012


my A to Z - every day of the challenge I will find a word by flinging my finger into my American Heritage Dictionary and then riff on it. The posts may be essays or poems or stories or memories. Who knows what will happen when we give Serendipity her wanton way?

Marzipan  - n. A confection made of ground almonds, egg whites, and sugar, molded into decorative forms.

"Sheila! What are you bringing to the wedding brunch?"
"Oh some sort of complicated confection I suppose. That is what they expect and I am biddable as you know."   Sheila owned a small business called Kick-A** Candy.
"Biddable! I'll say! I am gobsmacked that you were asked to bring one of your glorious creations to the wedding of your ex-boyfriend and that pea-brain Perdita.Aren't you still mad at Merv?"
"Oh...well..he's a man and can't help himself I suppose."
"What's Perdita's excuse then?"
"Perdita? I suppose she believes that all is fair in love and war etc...oh...and that nonsense about 'soul-mates', a belief that Merv has also subscribed to, or so I understand."
Jeanie snorted at this comment and then took another goodly swig of her Bloody Caesar. The two women were having a very late lunch at Le Bistro.
"Why are you doing this? And don't give me any cock'n'bull about his higher self and your willingness to let go - that might work with your other friends but it won't work with me."
"I'm going to see what happens when Merv actually says 'I do.' I expect his head to blow off. He was the most commitment-phobe man I ever had the displeasure to sleep with."
"Yes, displeasure. I liked Merv - he was smart and his wit was so dry it couldv'e started fires but in the sack? Lunch-bag let down."
"Well, Miss Butter-Wouldn't-Melt - you never said boo about this side of Merv. I thought you were heart-broken in every sense. I must say you are less...hmmm...grumpy than you were when you were with him. I thought it was just the end of the relationship angst but now I will rethink it."
"Good for you. Now I must get going. I think I'm going to do something in marzipan for the blessed event and I should get to thinking about it. Are you going to the wedding?"
"Yes - Max insists - he and Merv still play squash every Tuesday night. And besides I wouldn't miss a chance at tasting one of your confections!"
Two days later Jeanie and Max arrived at the uptown hotel just behind Sheila. She was carrying a large fuchsia and brown striped box with a turquoise ribbon.
"What did you make?" Jeanie asked in a whisper.
"You'll see." Sheila smiled. "You'll like it but I'm not sure Merv will."
Merv and his blushing bride Perdita were standing behind a large table that held the extensive buffet brunch. There were plates piled high with smoked salmon, lobster tails, mussels in cream and tiny quiches. Perdita looked across at Sheila and smiled in greeting.
"You are so sweet to come and bring us one of your delights! Why...if it weren't for you I wouldn't have met Merv." Perdita stuttered to a stop. Even a pin-head like her had to realize that statement was in bad taste, thought Jeanie. The guests who knew the story stifled gasps or giggles, but Sheila smiled graciously and proffered the beribboned box.
"I hope you like marzipan, Perdita. I know Merv does!"
Merv reached greedily for the box and fumbled with the ribbon. When he undid it the sides of the box opened revealing a glass cake stand. On it was cake covered in marzipan. It was in the shape of a four-poster bed. On it was a tiny woman, her tiny hand covering her mouth, her tiny eyes opened wide in shock. The tiny man by her side appeared to be shrugging and where his tiny penis should have been, there was a minuscule marzipan question-mark.
Merv looked up at Sheila, his mouth open in stunned amazement.
"Congratulations you two. You really deserve each other."
Sheila turned after speaking and walked out of the room to a resounding silence. Only the stifled hooting of Jeanie could be heard as the door closed firmly behind her.


Margot Kinberg said...

Jan - LOL! I love this story! What a hoot! Just marvellous! And quite literally, a very sweet revenge.

Jemi Fraser said...

Too funny! I didn't think the story would go in that direction from the title! Love it :)

Bish Denham said...

Pay back can be sweet sometimes.

Clarissa Draper said...

Love the story!

I know Marzapan well. In Mexico they sell it everywhere. It's delicious.

Elizabeth Spann Craig/Riley Adams said...

Love it! An amazing story of revenge, inspired by...marzipan. :)

Stephanie M. Hasty said...

love it!

Liza said...

When I read "Lunch bag let down" I howled...and wondered if you would carry it through the story. And you did! Too funny Jan!

Cathy Olliffe-Webster said...

HAHAHAHAHA! Hilarious in absolutely all respects! Love the names, the sassy dialogue and the bang-on ending. Nice work and from a fellow Canadian, too!
Awesome, Jan!