Friday, October 7, 2011

Dear Journal - a Friday Challenge

Oh dear. It's Friday so I need to write a challenge and it is the 7th day of NaBlow so I need to write a letter to my journal...anything else happening? No - it isn't the first Wednesday so I'm good for insecurity for another three and a half weeks - OK - I'm ready to go now.

Dear Journal,
I know I'm supposed to be writing you about my revision but I'm not going to today. I'm writing you about the care and feeding of a writer. And it will include the Friday Challenge.

Friday Challenge: print the following Care & Feeding of a Writer hand-out and give it to a loved one. If you are between loved ones, give it to your inner Parent Ego-State. Don't worry if you don't know what this is - your inner Parent Ego-State knows.

The Care & Feeding of a Writer

If you are the loved one of a writer (or the P E-S) then this is for you. Taking on a Writer is an onerous but exciting process. Congratulations on your bold endeavour! This short hand-out will help you in the days ahead so you can best enjoy the capricious nature of your Writer and keep them healthy and relatively sane. Here are four tips for you:

  1. Without letting the Writer know you are nosing about (they are extremely sensitive and protective of their work) find out which stage the writer is at with their current project. Are they appearing dishevelled, distraught and a bit smelly? They are probably writing their first draft. If they growl when you mention that they are writers in front of guests - they are definitely writing their first draft. If they are gloomy, abstract and self-critical, they are in revision. If they are mumbling, eating and drinking bad substances and randomly shrieking - they are waiting to hear back from an agent or publisher.
  2. If they are in first draft mode - make them snacks that have lots of protein but don't look like real food - walnuts, chunks of cheese, steak bits, chicken wings are all good choices. Put these on trays outside their writing lair. Exercise at this point will be refused. Pacing will have to do.
  3. If they are in revision mode - make sure you take them out for a daily walk. Encourage physical exercise by mentioning the exercise traits of established writers. Make it up if you have to. Meals must be established during this phase as well.
  4. If they are in waiting mode - accompany them to the bar and let them rant for hours about the stupidity of the publishing world. If they are drinking alcohol during this phase - try and at least make it Bloody Ceasars or Marys so they get some vegetables. Drag them to writerly events so they can blow off steam with other writers.


Isis Rushdan said...

This is great. I need to email this link to my husband :).

Angela Felsted said...

Sheesh, I hope I'm not that moody!

Judie said...

ahaha This is awesome!!

Words A Day said...

loved it! Very funny, and you got the phases to a T. Will email this and wait in hope for my bar trip:)

Jodi R. said...

This made me Laugh Out Loud so much that I just had to eschew the acronym and give well-deserved spelled-out props!

Favourite bit: "Don't worry if you don't know what this is - your inner Parent Ego-State knows."

Yes, your inner Parent Ego_state always knows, eh? bahaha

Thanks Jan!