X Chromosome - the abcedaria of a writer

X Chromosome - if you only have one, you poor thing, you're a guy. If you have two, then you my friend, are a gal!

to the gals ~ It is important to remember that we, we gals that is, aren't missing a Y, we've got double of the good stuff. So when guys come whinging around saying they're better because they have a Y - you just jump up and say "we don't want your stooooopid Y - we have double kisses - you have double nothing!" Remember Y is for Y-front, and X is for kisses, and Jesus, and where the treasure is buried. They are JEALOUS. But best not say anything, just give them that quiet Mona Lisa (double x there!) smile and that will be enough said.

to the boys ~ no point getting all huffy and righteous about it. You can't make babies and I'm sorry about that but it isn't my fault. And yes, it is true you can't find anything. Ever. And. That. Is. Tedious. But again, not our double x'er's fault. Just suck it up, buttercup. And hope that on your next life, you'll get to be a woman and not a cockroach or another guy or something.

Now, as to writing, here is the thing when it comes to this chromosome business. It doesn't matter. Wally Lamb proved that for once and all. We can all write for each other - boy, girl, boy-y girl and girl-y boy. So when you're writing and someone (like your partner who might have a different number of x's but I'm not saying necessarily) says 'how will you get the voice of a woman/man when you're not a woman/man - you just answer, as sweet as you can be, "doesn't matter, honey. How about that b**wj*b I promised you and that will be that. Because you don't want to talk about it. It'll hex it - it'll put you off your game. You'll lose your mojo. You need to have the confidence that you can get that voice otherwise you'll be second-guessing all your characters - how can I write about the past when it is the present? Or - how can I write about a rich person with towels and everything when I'm a writer and have to use my mother-in-law's thread-bare ones that don't really towel when that's all they are supposed to do? And like that. And you'll be crazy. So just distract your partner with brownies or other delectables.

And that's all you need to know about the X Chromosome dilemma. Really.