Thursday, April 21, 2016

R is for my best friend



My theme this year is the ABCEDARIA of Women who have inspired me.

R is for my best friend, my bosom buddy, my pal. We were once described as two blossoms from the same branch, and that about covers it. I'm not writing her name - those who know me in real life don't need to hear it - they know it - and those who don't - well, she's a more private gal than me. 

We've been buds since 1976. I'd moved to Nova Scotia with my two boys and my boyfriend followed a few months later. He was friends with my bf and her (then) husband so he took me out to meet them. We ended up renting a house on the same country road. Yep, back-to-the-landers. We grew gardens, and had chickens. Our children ran wild together and we played liar's dice and talked. Right away I knew she was going to inspire me. She was older (still is, ha!) by five years and had a wild bohemian life with a musician. We'd both lived in Ottawa and hung out with crowds that touched and mingled but we'd never met each other. 

We both liked making things - dolls (me), pots (her), anything with fabric or wool or silk (both).We both loved books and she turned me onto authors and books that remain among my faves. Like the Bloomsbury crowd, and Colette, and Gormenghast (Mervyn Peake). We never ran out of things to say on that long dusty road - and we still haven't forty years later. 

How does she inspire me? Everything - every detail is important to her. If she buys a second-hand jacket and she doesn't quite like the colour - she dyes it. If we are helping another best pal decorate for her wedding we will go to the moon to get the right kind of flower. I was a mouthy somewhat obnoxious person when I first met her but she saw the passionate kind heart behind my bluster. I think I do the same for her - we reflect back the best to the other. We've gone through illnesses, deaths, broken hearts, struggles with exes and children and faith (we're both Buddhists) together. We've laughed until we cried so many times and cried until we laughed too. For her birthday last year I promised to write and send her poems numbering the significant number of years she will attain on her birthday this year. I've written 42 so far and each is inspired by the continuing thread of conversation we have. If I travel, it doesn't even exist until I share with her my experiences and impressions. 

I've been so very lucky in my life with friends. My dearest sister, Jude, and I were so close as kids (and still) that I just never thought living without a best pal was truly living. And K.R. is the jewel, the rosy pearl, in my necklace of pals. 

Hope you have a close bud and you and she bloom along together...

3 comments:

Margot Kinberg said...

What a lovely tribute to your friend, Jan. And you are lucky to have a friend like that who completes you. She's very, very lucky to have you, too.

Bish Denham said...

Nothing like a best friend to keep you going, motivated, inspired!

Rhonda Gilmour said...

Your friend sounds very inspiring. You've truly found your soul mate.
@RhondaGilmour from
Late Blooming Rose