It is the first Wednesday of the month and you all know what that means! Insecure Writers Untie!
Untie the ropes and chains that bind you to your conventional mind. Untie all those strings and things that have you sitting bolt upright in the middle of the night exclaiming Ne Touche Pas! Or other weird French things that have nothing to do with your life. Unless you are French in which case you are probably muttering Belgian sayings in the midst of your dreams.
I'm insecure about lots of things - not just writing. I don't know if you are aware of this but I neglected to get one of those guide-books to being Human that everyone else got sometime in third grade I think. That is when things went off the rails for me. Well, and the fact that my mother and brother wouldn't let me quit grade one even though I'd already learned to read and therefore had no need of any more formal educating!
So, because of that, I often make huge mistakes. I'll stick to the writing ones for today as no one wants to hear about my first several marriages. In writing I constantly make the mistake of writing a first and second and sometimes third draft without really knowing what is going to happen next! Then I have to work backwards and do beat sheets and little index cards and big huge mindmaps and so on until I've got it all figured out. Then I need to rewrite it a few times. GAH!
Right now I just finished a set of beat sheets for Bright Angel. It's good. I can really see what needs to be fixed and what can be allowed to stay. Now to do it! But I'm also writing a play for the local theatre group and I have to work on that and oh today I have THE WHOLE DAY to do one set of MANY tax year returns I have to do or I'll be going on a different sort of writer's retreat. I've watched Orange is the New Black and I ain't interested.
So my support for all of us floundering about - be kind to yourself. That's it. This is a tough process this being a human bean and also a human writing bean. So be kind. Go at a pace that works for you. Celebrate achievements often. Put cinnamon in your coffee. Watch something funny on the web (I like those talking animals but that's just me). Keep on keepin' on - one word after another. Be kind to yourself.
Jan, who writes, laughs and plays the accordion by the sea until October and then by the Northern Lights.