Thursday, August 23, 2012

tip from the bottom

Ya, I know, usually I write tips from the top, but today is a tip from the bottom of the pile. For those of you who have experienced the utter joy of child birth you will know what I say when I tell you I'm in the transition stage of labour. Yep, that highly irritating phase when you just want all the utter joy to be over and have a nice cold gin and tonic and a fresh New Yorker. No, I mean when you want to be holding your new infant in your arms looking deep into his beautiful (wait is he jaundiced?) eyes. And I'm not talking about my writing here. Writing has left me. It is a fickle mistress and perhaps will wander back when I'm in my temporary abode for a two month retreat from responsibility, but alas alack, it don't truck with moving!

I have today and tomorrow to lasso this chaos into order. When I tell you that there isn't one room in this three floor home that is not a complete and utter sh*t-pile please believe that for once I am not engaging in hyperbole.

Let me take you through the rooms. No, really, it will calm me and you can just pretend to read it. It is the least you can do:

My office: where I am writing this and having little tournies of frozen bubble to keep me from lying down on the fainting couch. Oh, and the fainting couch is gone. We gave it to my fella's ex-wife as her mother is in town for her wedding (it's complicated). The bookcases are empty and most of the little wiggly metal things are pried out and in safe-keeping. Some are stuck and await a man's touch. Most of the teeny tiny bits of paper are in the boxes they are supposed to be in. Many will be coming with me to the temporary home. I need to deal with them and can't wait until winter. The computer needs some attention. I know I will be losing lots of stuff on it when I move. Oh, don't rush to tell me how to save things. I've heard it all. Things will go missing. I know it. The computer is coming to TR (temp. retreat) but the desk isn't so will have to be broken down. It will never find all its bits and pieces again. The curtains can stay. Home is needed for all the baskets. Will I take them to the very small TR? Perhaps. It is easier than packing each one individually, though that might be a possibility. The closet is cleared and cleaned. There, not too bad. Do I take my knitting needles? Will I need them at TR? urrr....

The great room : full of boxes of books, china and so forth. Chesterfield (as we Canucks like to call a couch) is gone to TR as are several chairs both hard and soft. The gigantic oak table is going tonight or tomorrow to TR. We decided we can't live for two months without its comforting presence. The art is all bubble-wrapped and most of it is in special cardboard painting boxes but not all of it. There is a painting that the new owners will take care of until we're back in the hood. The dog's stinky cushion is still here as it is the only thing that is keeping the poor old fella sane - it will move with us to the TR.

The kitchen. AAAAAGH! Why do I have to move little-known lentils from house to house to house to house? I don't know but I do. I guess because it is easier than tossing it or what? From now on whenever I accidentally buy little known lentils I'm just going to throw them away as soon as I unpack them from the grocery store. The kitchen is the worst I think. It is utterly impossible. Most of the china and silver and pots and pans are packed. We have a big plastic bin that I keep firing foodstuffs (lentils anyone?) to take to the TR. I think I will focus on this room today. As if I have eight days left to focus on anything! Ha. I'm seriously deluded. Why am I writing this when I could be packing up little bags of lentils? Frig!

Our bedroom - We're going to pack up one chest of drawers to take on the truck to TR. I have to pack up the clothes and shoes we won't need in the other drawers. I think. And take my passport and pills and stuff out of my bedside table. Yes. I might just want to move to Cuba go on a vacation. I cleaned the shelves and I have all my hat boxes full of dollies (I know I know but you do like my dolly shrine come the Winter Holiday don't you?) and my special plastic bag with my mother's mink stole in it and little baskets from South America and ....where are the matches - it isn't too late to torch the joint.

Bathrooms - in control. Not bad at all, so I was wrong - there are rooms that aren't a complete sh*t-pile. I even packed up each and every shell I had on my wide window sills. Yep ... millions of them all individually wrapped and put in a box. Sigh.

Spare room - not too bad. Need to strip the bed, wash the sheets and pack up my shrine stuff. Decide what I need at TR in that line - a pretty stripped down shrine I think and my cushions.

Step-dot's room - Fella told me that it is the most organized room in the house. Finally. I didn't even hit him or scream or anything. I just said 'Oh, how jolly. I'm so glad because as you know if it wasn't done - you'd have had to deal with it. I'm not allowed in there."

Rec room, furnace room and Fella's work shop - nah, I did the books and that stuff - he can do the rest. Yes, even in the furnace room which is neat and tidy but not organized for moving. I'm going to actually tell him that I'm not even going in there. I've done the rest of the house. He can do that.

Outside: Get Sheila the sculpture out of the garden. And dig up the tree we're moving. Or not. We're leaving all the prayer flags for the new folks. We have new ones for our next house. And they're keeping the chickens and we have feed and so forth for them.

And now ... for the tip from the bottom!

Tip: Pitter Patter Let's Fly Atter! or When the Going Get's Tough The Tough Get Going!
Bottom Top - my dear Daddio


Patricia Stoltey said...

This is exactly why I quickly suppress all thoughts of my husband and I buying a different house and moving. I'd prefer to wait until I'm so old my kids have to come and do all the hard work while I watch. :D

Hope you're all moved and settled soon, Jan.

Liza said...

This is the loveliest "To Do" list I've ever read. Good luck dearie!

Margot Kinberg said...

Jan - Wow! You have really done a lot already! And I think your to-do list is great too. Once the move is all over and you're settled, then you can have that gin and tonic ;-)