Gwen's here - in her proper spot after far too long - trip to Swaziland and deadlines for her - sister visit for me - and we're going to write. I went yesterday to meet with the woman who is doing my editing for me and we spent 3 hours (!) on the one-page synopsis. I don't know where I am with it but it is my task for the day. If I could just get one query package out I would be content. Okay, that's a lie. I would be somewhat more content - a hair less anxious - a molecule towards feeling my usual equanimity.
My car is at the garage. It died on Saturday. It is Tuesday. My computer keeps popping off and it is snowing. So just a little control in my life would be excellent.
Maybe I'm frightened of the open-ended script after I get my query packages out. This is the child that I've been holding on to. All the rest I was happy to get done and dusted - but True I laboured longer and harder over. I have great expectations for True and I may fear I will be swallowed by anxiety and rejection over it. Better it should stay at home in my pristine mind than dare the elements - the cruel elements of the publishing world.
This is not like me, I hasten to add. Even my live flesh-and-blood children left home early with me cheering them on. I am the opposite of the modern mother who phones the dean of her child's university to make sure he knows that her darling gets a little blue around the late fall and needs extra loving then. Not me. I was happy when my plays were done and performed and the stage swept clean. I never got the blues over finishing anything before. I sent things out too early, raw and not ready for the world. Maybe that is why I've swung the other way.
Enough of this. I'm going to get to work now. Gwen has already started only I slide my eyes over to her computer and see that she is answering emails so perhaps...?
How about you and letting go of manuscripts? Are you good at that or do you tarry with it far too long in the doorway, straightening its little sweater, tucking strands of errant hair behind its ears?