Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Bravado in the face of Insecurity...ha! I laugh at you silly nimbob!

Dear Ms. Morrison,

It has come to the attention of the Bureau of Risk Avoidance Maintenance that you have been feeling and expressing some measure of confidence. Agents of BRAM have heard reports that you told your writing group that you felt 'pretty good' about your writing life and that 'this was going to be your year'. We understand (through a careful analysis of your postings and visits to the mail box) that you are actively pursuing publishment of your ...ahem...writings.

We at BRAM wish to express the dangers inherent in such activity. Why if every writer took it into their heads to feel 'confident' and 'pretty good' what do you suppose might happen? It is for your own good, nay your safety, that you curb your desire to bring your writing out into the open air instead of keeping it safely locked down in a drawer or computer file where it belongs.

Counselling people to continue the healthy and SAFE practices of avoiding risk in all its forms is the mandate of BRAM. Here are the risks you will be exposed to if you continue on in this dangerous fashion:
  1. You will receive rejections. This is a known fact. Very few writers put their material out to the public without suffering from some rejection.
  2. That rejection may lead you to becoming despondent and you may miss important 'real' work because of it.
  3. You may receive acceptances. This has been known to happen.
  4. If you receive offers of publication or an agent desires to 'take you on' you may get giddy and drink foreign produced drinks such as tequila or Lagavullan.
  5. Your possible acceptance may lead the public to expect more writing from you.
  6. This will lead to possibly more rejection.
  7. And most importantly - should you get published - people will see what you've been up to. Are you sure you want to risk that?
We here at BRAM hope you will take this warning to heart. Please go back to your hovel or attic or wherever you write and contemplate that a little insecurity now will lead to a much SAFER life. Bravado is ruinous.

Your Servant,

Ms. Edna Squelch,
BRAM secretary of warnings
I thought I would share this letter I got recently. What do you think? For more on the insecure writers support group visit Alex Cavanaugh and do a little blog hopping.


Cherie Reich said...

*laughs* Great letter, but don't listen to it. Let us live dangerously and write.

lissa said...

if there's no risk, where is the fun? I say go for it.

M.J. Fifield said...

This is a fantastic letter. I loved it, especially #4 and #7.

Joanne said...

LOL. What a brilliant letter. "A little insecurity will lead to a much SAFER life" - love it!

Anonymous said...

This is wonderful. As I read it, I couldn't stop smiling - and I still am!
Ann Best, Author of In the Mirror & Other Memoirs

farawayeyes said...

Hi Jan. Stopping by from the IWS. Nice to meet you. I say, tell BRAM thank you very much, I like to live dangerously. Very creative idea.

I'll be back.

Faith Pray said...

Clever, clever! May you never tire of the joys of risk and danger! (said by the nail-biter...)

Margot Kinberg said...

Jan - Oh, I absolutely love this post! It's creative, funny and so... bureaucratic! Just wonderful. Now, print it, wrinkle it up, toss it away and live life fully!

Liza said...

I wish you could see the smile on my face! Perfect!

L. Diane Wolfe said...

Laughed all the way through this!

Anonymous said...

oh yes...

and then... the second book.. more issues there to be worked on too..

niamh said...

so funny:) dangerous behaviour indeed! Thanks for the laugh!