Thursday, September 8, 2011

Schools back! How can we keep our homework done and our notebooks tidy?

You know that feeling. I might be at the far end of my fifties but I still get that urge - this year will be different! This year I won't get behind. I'll do my assignments as they come up and I'll keep tidy notes in my unblemished binder. It lasted a couple of weeks, as I recall.

This year I didn't even get back to school (the one in my mind) when all the kids here did. But most are starting their classes at university I'll pretend I've graduated. I'm going to take several courses and I'm going to tell you, my fellow life class-mates, what ones they are. Feel free to sign up - love to see you in class. I'll be the one at the back.

Writing Courses:

Getting up After Falling Down 101 - in this course the student will learn to recover from set-backs and get back to her desk. She will dip into the hermeneutics of rejection and recovery. She will discover the art of not getting caught up in either praise or derision, as both have a deleterious effect on her progress.

Pitching to the Pubs - this is a short, intense course lasting 5 minutes every year, at the Word on the Street Festival.  This semester we will endeavour to get beyond the limitations of genre and  remember that a good pitch won't necessarily get you anywhere. ( see above course)

Revising with Panache - This course which runs for 84 semesters, will introduce and re-introduce the student to the finer points of revising. It is geared to the pantser as she will undoubtedly have a dogs-dinner of a manuscript with the story hidden somewhere in all the mess. Those who plot before writing will be taking the Revising with Restraint course, which only runs for 36 semesters.

Non-Writing Courses:

Taking Care of Business - this course needs no description. Everyone knows what it means.

Knitting 301 - this is for those who have mastered the lace course from last semester but in doing so have forgotten how to knit socks again. The socks she was going to make for Winter Solstice presents. Yes. It is a remedial course in turning the heel, counting, and swearing.

Response to Uncomfortable Questions - 101 - This course is for those who insist on pursuing a life of being an artiste, only to fumble for the answer to the question, 'What exactly do you do, anyhow?' We will penetrate the art of obfuscation, avoidance and "Oh my god, there's my high school sweetheart over there - I'll be back in a tick."


KarenG said...

Oh this post made me chuckle! When I went back to finish my degree a few years ago I was so thrilled to have my life once again organized into class work! Even after I graduated, I kept organizing my work into "classes" It worked great! I should try it again, you have inspired me!

Maria Zannini said...

I may have to add Juggling to my list of classes.

A terrific list!

Patricia Stoltey said...

I love taking classes of all kinds. The most recent fun class I took was all about using Shutterfly to create photo books. I'm going to do one of soon as I find some more time. :)

Myne Whitman said...

This is so funny, I should try to organize my life into classes too. LOL...

Jan Morrison said...

Karen - I know! We should all have external organizers...hmmm...I feel a business coming on.
Maria - I used to be able to juggle - now that's a fun skill - but no - I still have to master the accordion.
Pat - I want to take that!!!!
Myne - yes, join the university of...uh...let's call it 'Writers, Dreamers and other party tricks U.

Margot Kinberg said...

Jan - Oh, I love those courses! I think they should be required for the "how to survive the writing life" degree :-). It is interesting, isn't it, how the return to school can bring just as strong a sense of renewal (albeit slightly different in feeling) as the spring does. Now... excuse me while I leaf through the Jan Morrison University course catalogue and choose my classes ;-).