You know that feeling. I might be at the far end of my fifties but I still get that urge - this year will be different! This year I won't get behind. I'll do my assignments as they come up and I'll keep tidy notes in my unblemished binder. It lasted a couple of weeks, as I recall.
This year I didn't even get back to school (the one in my mind) when all the kids here did. But most are starting their classes at university today...so I'll pretend I've graduated. I'm going to take several courses and I'm going to tell you, my fellow life class-mates, what ones they are. Feel free to sign up - love to see you in class. I'll be the one at the back.
Getting up After Falling Down 101 - in this course the student will learn to recover from set-backs and get back to her desk. She will dip into the hermeneutics of rejection and recovery. She will discover the art of not getting caught up in either praise or derision, as both have a deleterious effect on her progress.
Pitching to the Pubs - this is a short, intense course lasting 5 minutes every year, at the Word on the Street Festival. This semester we will endeavour to get beyond the limitations of genre and remember that a good pitch won't necessarily get you anywhere. ( see above course)
Revising with Panache - This course which runs for 84 semesters, will introduce and re-introduce the student to the finer points of revising. It is geared to the pantser as she will undoubtedly have a dogs-dinner of a manuscript with the story hidden somewhere in all the mess. Those who plot before writing will be taking the Revising with Restraint course, which only runs for 36 semesters.
Taking Care of Business - this course needs no description. Everyone knows what it means.
Knitting 301 - this is for those who have mastered the lace course from last semester but in doing so have forgotten how to knit socks again. The socks she was going to make for Winter Solstice presents. Yes. It is a remedial course in turning the heel, counting, and swearing.
Response to Uncomfortable Questions - 101 - This course is for those who insist on pursuing a life of being an artiste, only to fumble for the answer to the question, 'What exactly do you do, anyhow?' We will penetrate the art of obfuscation, avoidance and "Oh my god, there's my high school sweetheart over there - I'll be back in a tick."