Monday, July 11, 2011

Mulling...like wine only not

I am mulling over several things this morning. It looks to be another stunningly nice day in downtown Prospect Bay- bit of cloud cover but warming up and smelling like daisies and lupins (they smell a bit like pepper...) and the daylilies are ready to burst forth like orange kilted school girls on the last day of grade ten.

this is the woodland path I walk with Hoagy - from Saturday - following much rain...

Let's talk to-do lists, shall we?

In the depth of summer, I don't have many clients. This tells me many things - all of us feel better, at least relatively, when the sun is shining.  Many people go on vacations here abouts, if only to their 'camp' as locals call the cottage, and lastly, my business is on the wane. The first two things I can't do anything about. But that last one - ow, ow, ow! When I check with my fellow therapists I find I'm not alone. The recession has been late finding Nova Scotia but it has found us. Therapy is still considered a frill, a furbelow of modern living. It isn't essential, like say - cable?  Therapy is expensive. I get more per hour by a long shot than most people who see me. But I also pay for my office, my gas, my parking, my meals here and there and so forth. This week I'm  not seeing enough clients to cover my costs. That causes me to panic, slightly. The other part of me goes hurrah! I can write! I can spend hours and hours on my revisions! Then I think - maybe that's why I'm not seeing many clients - maybe the phenomenal world realizes that by times I'd rather write than anything else. The phenomenal world can be like that. It isn't magical thinking either. It is me not getting back to phone calls as quickly as I might. It is not following up on leads, not getting my cards down to offices that will send me clients, not actively nurturing this part of my garden. Willfully ignoring my livelihood in favour of my passion.


And the thing is - as I mull - I love doing psychotherapy. I love being really busy with it so I get into the rhythm of it - seeing four or five clients a day for several days in a row. It is hard to see one or two folks a day for many reasons.  I also like LIKE writing around my work. I like having to squeeze writing time in - early in the morning, after meditating, before walking the dog. I like it.

If you're hoping for conclusions to my mulling, you're hoping in vane. I simply don't have an answer. All I have is six hours today before I head into town to see a client. The anxiety of the gift is beyond me now. I do hope to dive into revisions, I have my office to clean up because yesterday we moved THREE single bed frames. The one in the rec room went to Felix's old room on the top floor. Felix's went to this office and the one in this office went to the rec room. Not the mattresses - just three sorts of frames - one light and easy to take apart and put together (to my office), one a byzantine metal tubed slightly frilly day-bed sort (went to Felix's room) and the heaviest - a wooden box of a platform that Sweet Patootie made  that went back to the rec room from which it sprang. So now you know - if you come to visit - we have three single beds all ready to receive you. The changing of them caused great expanses of dust carpets to be revealed and I'm just getting them taken care of - and you know when you start moving stuff - you just can't stop. Or I can't.
I also bought a few more flats of annuals that need to be put in pots on the deck. So that will have to happen. I want to clean the chicken coop a bit - just keep it somewhat healthy for the kids. I have to walk the beasty. I'm not going swimming in the chuck though. I did that yesterday and you know what? Too darn cold for words. All my muscles and joints were in agony last evening and all I did was five strokes out and five strokes back. It takes forever for the ocean to warm up around here.

So back to mulling...


11 comments:

L. Diane Wolfe said...

Jan, I totally understand! Speaking engagements pay my bills, and while summer is my lull time too, I know there's more I should be doing. But I'm trying to write, and juggle some other opportunities and commitments.

Jan Morrison said...

Hey Diane - ever notice how 'mull' and 'lull' rhyme and also sound so deliciously decadent. I'm going to lull around mulling...

Elspeth Antonelli said...

Letting it out that you have a spare bed waiting for me is a dangerous thing, since I've always hungered to visit the Maritimes. This country of ours is beautiful, but *damn* it sure is large!

welcome to my world of poetry said...

I simply adored reading your very informative post. I do like reading from the authors in Blogsphere as well as the poets.

Have a good day.
Yvonne.

Talli Roland said...

I'm a big fan of mulling! I can stare out the window and mull for hours if I'm not careful.

Karen Walker said...

Oh, mulling and lulling sound just wonderful. I enjoy your mulling posts, Jan. Sorry about the lack of clients, though. I had my own business so I know that can be uncomfortable.
Karen

Hart Johnson said...

That's so hard when your financial well-being is at odds with your emotional/spiritial/passion well being. I hope your mulling arrives somewhere satisfactory. I really need to have a moving/cleaning day at some point in the nearish future. My house is a nightmare. But in the short run, I just prefer to write with any spare time I have.

A.L. Sonnichsen said...

Be careful in that frigid water! Actually, mulling sounds wonderful ... though I can understand that it's stressful as well. Hope you can find a few more summer clients so you can maintain a healthy work/play balance.

Amy

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Sometimes a little mull time is good.

Jan Morrison said...

Elspeth - you KNOW I would love you to come!
Yvonne - thanks my deario...
Oh yes, Talli, mulling can be dangerous, like day-dreaming or just drifting off for a moment or...
Karen - yes, it is fraught to be an entrepreneur YET freeing too.
Tartlette-oh, I'm quite sure my home is never so clean as when revisions are in the air! But truly, after Felix left I just felt like getting a hold of the house again.
Amy - oicks! Was it cold! And I was all alone which is what I prefer too - I will take care though.
Alex - yes it is and I know you appreciate it too.

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