Thursday, November 4, 2010

Day four and I'm behind!

I don't think I even started on Nov. 1st. last year and I finished so what am I freaking about? It's those weird new stats they have this year that tell you how many days you're behind even if you catch up they still say you are behind three and ahead 12 or whatever. Man oh man - I wish they'd stop.

Truth - didn't spend a minute on my manuscript and it is 6:30 pm so what are the chances. I've been working like a maniac trying to finish the farm stories so my slate is clean. Or...uh...cleaner...

And I'm on my last one and I think it is done but not entirely sure. I will send it tonight and then we'll see.

So in order to cheer me up I'm going to think of 10 things I can give up so I'll have more time!

1. Eating. I really don't need to - I'm sure I could live for a week or so on nothing and then if the eating machines in this house wouldn't mow through the home-made granola so fast I could live off that for awhile.

2. Making granola - with shopping and stirring it around so it doesn't get too golden I could save a few hours a week.

3. Bathing - I'm a big time bather. I don't write in the tub like the tartlette but I ruminate there.

4. Working for money - highly over-rated. I could just sit around stinking and starving in my jammies writing for love.

5. Going out at all! That takes time - all that picking up teenagers, walking the dog, shopping for food for same, appointments, visits, movies. Yah, just hermit it out for one month. What's the big deal??

6. Sleeping - or at least sleeping so much. All those geniuses sleep for about three hours a night and I used to do it myself when I was...uh...24. So why not now? Just go to bed at midnight and get up at three. Lots of time saved there.

7. Loving...

8. Talking. It is a huge huge waste of time. I'll just point and grunt. Millions of men can't be wrong.

9. Blogging - sorry but you knew I'd get here eventually. Plus if I'm only writing away, starving, smelly and silent - what could I blog about?

10. Breathing - big time waster even though I've mastered multi-tasking with that one. I can breathe and walk!!! But enough is enough. I've been breathing for nearly 59 years already.

Any suggestions?


Katie Anderson said...

Very funny... Perhaps you could also give up getting dressed - nudists must save a lot of time there!

Mary said...

Post was too funny! Ignore the stats and you'll pull this out because you're good and that's what you do.


Clarissa Draper said...

11) Laundry... if you don't go out, you don't need clothes and then you don't need laundry. It really all works together.

12) Answering the phone. I don't do it. I really don't. So don't bother phoning.

Very funny post!


Glynis said...

I agree with #1, 2, 4, and 5. The rest I think of as necessities.

Jan Morrison said...

Katie - and wouldn't the Watery Tartlette like that!! Only I live in Canada and it is November. Also, not fair to foreign student who lives here but hey! If I don't bathe I can keep the same pj's on all the time!
Mary - I wish I could ignore the stats - they are like one of those sneering teachers who would look down their nose at you - nyah nyah - you can't do this!!
Clarissa - hey I like both of these - laundry is now gone and answering the phone is history...
Glynis - interesting that blogging is a neccesity but eating isn't! I can see it though...