Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Writing Through the Emotion

Somedays I get to my desk full of trepidition or empty of intention. I live as a householder in the world and that means that there are many things pulling my attention away from writing. Perhaps a child is having a rough patch or work is needing some special attention. My sweet patootie might be wanting some loving care or paperwork is getting behind. And occasionally (thank Buddha, only occasionally) all such forces collide at once - like a zillion little hands tugging at my apron - "me, me, me!"
And sometimes there is nothing to be done - just waiting, hoping, praying, distracting until the knots unravel with time or patient occasional untangling.
This is such a time for me. I am scared that I won't be able to enter my writing as I'm focussed elsewhere. Yet, I have no action that needs to be taken other than walking the dog - soon, Hoagy, soon! I know that this is the same as when I sit on my cushion full of fear that I won't be able to still my mind - it is too full of sharp and intrusive thoughts 'shoulda, coulda, wouldas' that take me away from my discipline. The meditation instruction for that is to bring all of it to the cushion - to one's practice. And that is what I know will work if I do it with my work. I will bring my hopes, fears, doubts and knowings to my work. If it is part of me, it is part of my protagonist.
See you later - I'm going in.

18 comments:

Carol Kilgore said...

I have a lot of those days. In fact, I have so many that when my life is calm I often wonder what's wrong. Carve out a space for your writing, even if it's only working through a problem in your head. Sometimes that's all the writing time/space I have in a whole string of days.

Carol Kilgore said...

Well, duh. Talk about scattered and spacey. I came here also to let you know that I have an award for you on my blog.

Cruella Collett said...

Good luck! I know the feeling - sometimes there are a million other things I need to do before I can get to what I'm supposed to do. And then other days there is nothing and I am forced to waste time otherwise. (But I'm really good at that.)

Also it made me giggle that you swim with a hat. I suppose it makes sense to keep the sun out of your eyes, but I wouldn't last long before I'd duck my head under, and there goes the hat...

Rayna M. Iyer said...

You will get over it soon. These things come in patches.

Maryann Miller said...

Focus, focus, focus, and lots of deep breathing. That helps to block out the "stuff" clamoring at me and I can focus on the writing.

Jayne said...

Good luck Jan! Found your blog via Carol's. :)

Jan Morrison said...

Carol - yes, that is right. I need to be on my side and not on my case so much!
Mari - in this case I think I mean more mind anxiety than things to do - things I can deal with! Emotional stress takes up much needed real estate in my mind some days and I have to give it the boot or use it! I'm going to use it. As to swimming in my hat, oh, I do that all the time and I do go underwater with it on - it stays or floats. This way I avoid sun on brain pan (see above)
Natasha - going to go through it not over or under it! Have to this time.
Maryann - I agree - breathing is key.
Hi Jayne - welcome aboard - if you are a writer you may enjoy my Friday Challenges...I'm coming to visit you next!

Clarissa Draper said...

Oh, I've felt that before. Well, I hope you come out feeling satisfied. Keep going, keep working.

CD

Words A Day said...

"I'm going in"
Good for you Jan! Reminds me of Diving into the Wreck. Be safe! Come up for air!

Michele Emrath said...

Sometimes it's harder to see through the void than through the forest. I don't even know what that means, but it sounded good. :)

Michele
Emily Dickinson biographer on SouthernCityMysteries

Elizabeth Spann Craig/Riley Adams said...

Ack! Blogger ate my comment. Let's see what I was saying...I think that you'll probably be tremendously productive really soon. We all have those stretches of bleh!

Jemi Fraser said...

Sometimes life just likes to jump up and surprise ... not always in a good way. Keep at it - it'll come :)

kerrycharacters said...

Thanks so much for this inspirational post Jan. I am now going to curl up with my small daughters and read them a story. And only do that and do it fullyx

Jan Morrison said...

Clarissa - I did. I did work and it was fine. And tomorrow I'm meeting Gwen and we'll write lots.
Niamh - I loved that movie! It is like that. Just like that.
Michele - well now, I'll have to ponder that one!
Elizabeth - that happened twice to me today. gremlins about...
Jemi - surprise - another word for God.
Kerry - I hope you had fun reading them a story - I loved that part of parenting so much!

Liza said...

Good luck. I love the picture.

Hart Johnson said...

Jan-I hope all these forces resolve themselves very quickly and you can get back to it! Maybe do a little WRITING which can survive some chaos (might even be a release) and get back to the editing when the other forces are calmer.

Lydia Kang said...

I totally have these moments too. You're not alone! And that pict was so great, btw!

Glynis said...

You have me pegged.