Jan Morrison

Day Five of my in-house writing retreat - ten thousand hours to success!

2012-02-15T09:40:00.004-04:00

With only the briefest look at this schedule I know I am paying no mind to it. I will spend today, like yesterday, driving through the manuscript. The rest will have to wait. In fact, the only other time I will take today will be to carve out a few more days to focus on the packages before the month is out.

Last night's dinner was so wildly good - I won't tell you everything we ate but the main dish that I had, was roasted free-range chicken breast with greens, button mushrooms and fresh potato gnocchi. What that menu description doesn't say is anything about the sauce it is all nestled in. OH OH OH! As soon as I took my first mouthful I remembered why it is simply worth it to go to a REALLY good restaurant. A reminder of what food can be when it is elevated far beyond the really good - for we eat very well, here at the ranch. They say that an expert is one who has done 10,000 hours of work on their craft. Well, I'd say that Fid's wonderful chef, Dennis Johnston, has done that and more.

Now to get to my ten thousand hours of work.

Udate - 5:30 PM - and I'm thinking this retreat is here-by over! Man oh manly man, this was a rough day. Like walking through mud. All because I had to change a major plot point - no, a minor plot point - I had to change something and the something I had to change was hard to figure and it led me into a veritable mare's nest of new research - did you know that First Nations people are far more prone to having their bones broken than us other North Americans? Well, yes they are, and heart attacks, diabetes, and so on and so on. I did some more research on residential schools (for those of you in other lands - over 150,000 kids were taken away from their parents from the mid-1800's to the late 1900's) Residential schools, with the aid of church and state, obliterated languages, abused many, many children- physically and sexually - many suffered malnutrition and other problems not normally seen on these fair shores. Yep. In Canada we've been undergoing a wonderful painful but beautiful process called :

The Truth and Reconciliation Commission of Canada

"the truth of our common experiences will help set our spirits free and pave the way to reconciliation."

The Truth and Reconciliation Commission of Canada has a mandate to learn the truth about what happened in the residential schools and to inform all Canadians about what happened in the schools. The Commission will document the truth of what happened by relying on records held by those who operated and funded the schools, testimony from officials of the institutions that operated the schools, and experiences reported by survivors, their families, communities and anyone personally affected by the residential school experience and its subsequent impacts.
The Commission hopes to guide and inspire First Nations, Inuit, and Métis peoples and Canadians in a process of truth and healing leading toward reconciliation and renewed relationships based on mutual understanding and respect.
The Commission views reconciliation as an ongoing individual and collective process that will require participation from all those affected by the residential school experience. This includes First Nations, Inuit, and Métis former students, their families, communities, religious groups, former Indian Residential School employees, government, and the people of Canada.

Since my book is about the karma that in part led from residential schools, it is important that I fully grok this. That means that although this day was hard, I have met my mandate to proceed with care and my novel will take the time it requires.

I've already started blocking out more all day writing retreats. GAAAAH!

Day Four - sailing into the mystic

2012-02-14T09:10:00.001-04:00

Today my intention is to work on the manuscript only. I had a great day yesterday and think this one will be likewise - so I'll just plough on through. If I get enough done, I can focus tomorrow on the packages. If not, we'll see. I may stop from time to time using my one-page synopsis attempts as breaks. Who knows. It is Valentine's Day and my sweet patootie and I are stepping out this evening, meeting our dear pals for dinner at Fid, a wonderful place to eat. We don't go often but I'd rather go there once or twice a year than a cheaper place every month. So it goes...

Day Four (this will be an all manuscript day I think)

meditate
read manuscript for one hour
breakfast
finish reading manuscript
lunch
manuscript changes
walk
manuscript changes

check-in - 5:06 PM - well, I'm done for this day. The man and I are leaving shortly to do some tasks and the meet our friends for dinner. I did a whack of work today - all on the manuscript. And you know that thing I said the other day about thinking that the early chapters would take more work. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. oh oh I can't stop. I'm hysterical.
However, I did get as far as half-way through Chapter 26 (which used to be 29). The manuscript goes up to 48 and it will continue to get smaller as I go. Tomorrow I will decide if I'm going to continue in this vein or stop to work on synopsis. I think I probably won't. I'd like to get this done while the heat is upon me.
later... my valentines...

Day Three of Inhouse Retreat - I'm going to look at the landscape

2012-02-13T09:02:00.003-04:00

Today, now, right now, it is snowing. In the parlance of the South Shore it will be a heavy snow as it is 'little snow' and the saying goes 'little snow big snow' and of course vice versa 'big snow little snow'. What this generally means is if the snow flakes are tiny there will be a large accumulation and if they are big fat Hollywood snow flakes - not so much. I'll let you know what happens. The weather is being most kind to my retreat as it invokes the desire to stay put.

Day three - oh my. I am trying to give you a flavour of this process without being too tedious. In that vein I will tell you what I'm doing when I'm not doing what is on my little list. First of all I am wearing ugly but comfortable clothes - the same ones every day - leggings with what my friend Marion's German mother would call 'schlobbin hosen' which I take to mean sloppy pull up pants. On top I'm wearing a t-shirt and a sweater that belonged to my dad. I'm warm and comfortable. When I take a break I eat something good - yoghurt with walnuts and blueberries and other fruit in the morning - eggs for lunch or soup and something light for dinner. I am not taking long for breaks but even if I do I read one of my many books that keep me in the revising head-space - Koch's Writer's Workshop, or Lamott's Bird by Bird or etc... These are to keep me from freaking out - not so much for the technical info though it is good to read over Revision & Self-Editing by James Scott Bell and spend some time on his very particular check-lists!
The biggest obstacle is that my back isn't very good. I try to remember to stretch and so forth every hour but still it just doesn't like sitting very much. Ron is being a peach - working away at his own thing and letting me prattle on about what I'm doing. In the evenings we watch a movie or Holmes and Watson and early to bed where I dream and dream and dream.

Now - here is today's schedule:
Day Three

meditate
1 page synopsis - one hour
breakfast
manuscript work - two hours
lunch
meditate
finish two synopsis - two hours
walk
work on manuscript - two hour

We'll see where I get to...

I'll check in later on.

12:30 Check-in - hmmm...no big snow - though it appears to be snowing a bit right now and the sky is clear - this must be fox wedding season!
I worked on my one page synopsis - ARRRRRRGH! Really, it makes me nuts but I won't give up.
I am just about to start chapter 15. I am making hugish changes which I'm more than happy about - but it makes the work oh so slow. My hope at this point is to get half the manuscript work done by the end of day five - that would be ten more chapters. Can I do it? I think so. Then I can safely send off packets (should I also get my query letters and synopses done) at the end of day five. I will then have two weeks to do the next 25 chapters. I'll just have to chip away at them, one or two a day...more on the weekend.
OK - back to work with me now....

6:35 Check in - still a snowy day. Well, I ploughed through more of the manuscript than I thought I'd get to. I'm on chapter 21 and that includes combining some and taking one out in its entirety. At this rate I think I'll get about 30 or more chapters done, out of 49. Hard to say what percentage I'm at - almost half-way but I'm chopping as I go so might be further! Tomorrow I marked for an all manuscript day but will play it by ear. Ron's made corned beef and cabbage for dinner. We are drowning in brassicas. Drowning.
Okey dokey - I'll check in tomorrow for day four.

Day Two - foxes wedding

2012-02-12T08:47:00.003-04:00

Today, as I meditated, I noticed an unusual occurrence. There were snow flurries but the sky seemed clear and sunny. This is what we call a 'foxes wedding'. I just went and found the wiki bit on it:

Other stories tell of kitsune (foxes) marrying one another. Rain falling from a clear sky — a sunshower — is called kitsune no yomeiri or the kitsune's wedding, in reference to a folktale describing a wedding ceremony between the creatures being held during such conditions.^[62] The event is considered a good omen, but the kitsune will seek revenge on any uninvited guests.^[63]

^{So that is good news for my day. I need a good omen for today. I had a very disturbed sleep. I was anxious and restless... I couldn't stop thinking about the plot and what I'm doing. I had that anxiety that nothing was right in it - and that people who had seen it were just being kind, as anyone would be to a poor mentally unhinged person, who imagined they were a writer. I feel better now that it is morning. I've got a good start. As soon as I've posted this I will get to work. I'm glad we don't have to go anywhere, for though it looks lovely out - sunny with a dusting of snow, the man tells me everything is frozen solid. He had to heat the hen house hatch to get it open - all the birds trotted out, most impatiently, then had a look and trotted back in. The roads must be impossible. So, all in all, a good day to buckle down to it.}
^{Here is my schedule, already revised as I have more of an idea what I'm up to now.}

Day Two

meditate
write up notes on changes I need to make - a letter to self
breakfast
manuscript work - two hours
1 page synopsis and a start on a query letter
lunch
meditate
manuscript wrk - one hour
dog walk
manuscript work - two hours

I'll check back in a few hours with an update.

Update: It is 11:30 and I've been at work for three hours. What have I done? One more chapter, notes on things that need changing and ideas I had over the course of the night and I'm looking at the STUPID one page synopsis which is so boring I could rip my own head off and throw it at the computer screen. But I won't. I'll go check out the wonderful Writer's Knowledge site (check side-bar to go there) and look up one-page synopsis and probably do one totally insane one to move me out of this stiffness.
later...

Now it is a bit after six and I am done for the day. I am up to 13 chapters - I somehow think it might get better later on as most of my big changes are front-loaded. As I write this I realize I have no idea if that is true or not. Perhaps I am simply without the ability to see anything about the thing right now. I did a one-page synopsis but it isn't quite where I want it. I walked the dog and I didn't meditate a second time. My darn back is killing me so if I do meditate it will be lying down. Walking was NO fun as every pebble is coated in ice so it was treacherous walking. Hey! I sound like big fat complainer. I am still loving this process - I'm simply tired of my own mind right now. So I'll be leaving you now...

Day One of Retreat

2012-02-11T09:17:00.004-04:00

I have decided as part of my carrot or stick (not sure which) to post my goals here and let you know as the retreat wheels on where I am with them.

notes: I will be interspersing all my work with walking and meditating. When I'm doing either I consider it part of the work but am only counting desk time as part of the seven hours.

Day One
Checking in at quarter to two!

Checking in at five pm!
~~Meditate~~ did this before coming to office
Prepare office - clean up that which doesn't pertain, put up visual board of images and words, find supplies (markers, poster board, reference books for this project, etc...) - yep, not perfect but good enough and I have an inspiration board up on the wall with NOTHING on it... ha! Took some time to put images on my visual board - prairie scenes, a photo of a woman that seems to look like my protagonist, hawks, pow wow picture- it is helpful.
Breakfast - check
Mind Map of structure - mostly did this in preparing my office - a big mind map of the hero's journey - easy because of all the work I'd done on this notion
Start manuscript work (making changes both large and small) - this may be where I get into trouble! I've finished two of my 51 chapters. aaack. I need to get to ten a day if I'm to be completely finished by the end of Wednesday. Now, I may be spending longer on the first two chapters because other than the contest - no one will see the rest of it unless they ask for more, and realistically I know that will be quite a ways down the path. So, I am going to continue with my plan and not just keep picking away like I want to. I'm going to go up and meditate now and then get to my four page synopsis. The dog will not be walked as it is pissing down.
Lunch - reheated Borcht. yum...
Meditate - another small stint
Work on 4 page synopsis - hour -worked on this - seems to be getting near done.
Walk dog nope, it is raining buckets, he is sleeping...
2 hours manuscript work - I would say I've done more than two hours. I've got five chapters done. Would like to do at least two more before I call it a day. That leaves me a bit behind but hey! I can't seem to zoom through it just hitting the main points. I have to revise as I wrote, ponderously from one chapter to the next. OK.
meditate

I'll post here from time to time today to let you (and mainly me) know where I've gotten to.
Later....
Maybe Later or maybe tomorrow!

My last report of the day - it is nearly seven PM and I am pooped! The man is making a steak dinner, I'll have some wine, we'll watch some Holmes and Watson, and I'll hit the hay earlier than later. I did six chapters and I've probably cut the manuscript by a thousand words. It is still near 85 thou and my aim is to get it to 80. I think that'll be fairly easy. I seem to have zero tolerance for anything the least bit off the plot - think that is because of all the structure-thinking I've been doing the past few weeks. I know what the plot is exactly now and any meanders are simply irritating. So, although I've only gotten a tenth of the way through, I feel confident that I can do this. I will be able to have a package ready for the four agents and if I don't have the entire manuscript done by the fifth day - I still have fifteen days to get it done.I'll have enough momentum to do so.
Later dudes. I'm going up to do my last meditation for the day...

An In-House Writing Retreat

2012-02-08T10:29:00.001-04:00

Those of you who might read this know that I've been trying to get my final final revision done and my query package for True. At the same time life is happening. I've been quite busy at work and when I've got clients I really want to see them for thin days could be ahead. I was fretting about these two things - the fact that I thought I'd have a tonne of time in January and February to write and I don't - and the loveliness of having some dough coming in. This week I'm seeing about twelve clients and have a three hour supervision. So that's about 16 clients worth. A GREAT week!
On Sunday, when I looked at my book I was happy and freaked. Most of my deadlines are ones that I impose - moving them about is annoying but truly no big deal - so I put off fame and fortune for a month or so? But one of the deadlines for my manuscript is not self-imposed. It is a submission to a contest and it requires the whole meghilla! The complete manuscript, bio, longish synopsis and a few questions answered that pertain to the contest. The deadline is in 21 days.
My reasoning is if I have to have ALL of that out the door in three weeks - might as well have the other four submission packages ready too. For them it will be various lengths of synopsis - let's say if I have a four pager and a one pager I think I'll be covered, between the first four and the first ten pages of the novel, and a good query letter etc...
All this to say that I carved out a five day writing marathon for myself. I am only taking two days off from seeing clients (Monday and Wednesday) Tuesday is a writing day anywho and I'll start this Saturday. I think I can work up to seven hours a day - so that would be 35 hours of work - the bulk of which, I think, will be on some changes I'm making to the manuscript itself. I have them well in hand - met with my editor and she gave me some she'd like to see and I talked over a few I was thinking of. Some of these are minute (find all sentences beginning with 'And' and destroy), some are middling (slash and burn a few info dump scenes) and some are huge (change a major plot point).
My intuition tells me that the best way to go about this is to move between the revision and the writing the package bits. The work I've been doing on the synopsis is what led me to get that I needed to make some changes still. (thank you Alexandra Sokoloff at Dark Salon for your Hero's Journey Structure Cheat Sheet) .

To get ready for this I've cleared my decks, promised the lad if I did my hours I'd be free to watch Holmes and Watson at night or help with dinner etc... but that fundamentally I'm not here. I cannot afford to go away to a snowy cottage and write in that wonderful romantic way I have at times. No, this is journeyman stuff. I have to stay here - make my office even more geared to the novel and pitter-patter fly atter.
I think I will make a big mind-map for the wall - a bit of a beat sheet and see how she all goes. I have the copy of the manuscript my editor worked on and all the notes I've been making.
How about you and marathons? Should I carb-load to get ready? Do I have my lucky thingy? See you on the other side...

For My Dear Daddio - Life's Lover

2012-02-04T12:27:00.001-04:00

I took this photo of Dad at the celebration of his 85th birthday...

My dad, who died a year ago on this date, was a rare bird. Try as I might to sum him up, he evades the easy category and swims out of every net I fashion to capture him. (he has done it just now - a swimming bird or a flying fish?) In this, my writing blog, I'd like to remember two of his qualities - his inventiveness and his discipline. A painting general, a lover of the works of Robert W Service, Robbie Burns, Shakespeare, Sharon Butala and Walt Kelly (creator of Pogo); a aficionado of national parks, and apple pie - Mo Morrison was known far and wide as an eclectic lover of life - in his words 'a lucky guy'.

His inventiveness was legion. When we were children and under his watch, every task became a game, and lose its duty flavour becoming something fun. I wish I could say it was the sheer fun of playing that caused my dad to be the inventive game-playing man he was, but no. In reflection, I believe it was because he had been a leader from a young age - a bomber pilot as he entered the twenties - he simply knew he would be more likely to get folks to work or learn if he added fun to the package. No matter - the lesson was learned, the tasks completed and all with good cheer. Now, less I paint too pretty a picture, I must tell you that he could be a picky bastard by times. To this very day, I cannot pick up a broom but I feel a tremendous wash of resentment surge through me. And so, dear reader, that lesson was 'don't pick up a broom' and I have learned it very well.

When we moved from Oakville to Ottawa in 1967 (being Air Force we moved every couple of years) he knew it would be more difficult than usual - we three kids were all in high school and weren't so prone to packing up our old kit bags and hitting the road. We had boyfriends and girlfriends and clubs and stuff. Instead of he and my mother choosing a home, he made a game. He sat down with us and made up a tremendous list of what an ideal home would look like, with points for this or that (fireplaces, closeness to schools etc...) and then we all trooped from home to home. He made us part of the process and in those days, that was an unusual parenting technique.

Later on when he retired, his back gave him problems. He had to have surgery and afterward was to begin a habit of exercise which he never abandoned. He rode a stationary bike, which could have been such a tedious thing, but he made a great game of it. He rode around the world, mapping his route and figuring out where he was, using the radio to tell him of the weather in Revelstoke or Kathmandu. I believe he'd circumnavigated the world twice latitudinal- fashion and once by the poles. I would phone him on a Sunday and ask where he was, "oh, thought I'd take Route 66 this time and I just saw a road runner whiz by!"

When mother died, he gave up drinking, and had some time to kill so he started going back to church, a habit he had fallen out of. He had been painting and decided to marry three of his loves - painting, writing and philosophical research. He would attend a church in the Ottawa Valley area, paint it, and write a short 'review' of his experience. He had a column carried by local newspapers for many years, called 'From the Back Pew' in which there would be a drawing of the church with his observations. He eventually published a collection of these writings and pictures, called A Month of Sundays.

He often told us that he battled insomnia with editing. He would fashion a letter to the editor and make sure it was properly punctuated etc... I have not gained his editing skills and know that he'd be on this piece with his very fine-toothed comb, tskking and sighing.

These are just a few examples of his inventiveness and they are intertwined with his discipline - how to do the right thing. He accomplished much in his time on earth and believed that there was an inherent joy in being a good person - a lucky guy. Both he and we kids were lucky when he found his second partner in life, the wonderful Stella. I think, in his dark moments, he believed that he was undeserving of the love shown to him. Perhaps as the eighth child of a family that struggled in the depression, he simply couldn't believe that there was enough to go around. I would suggest that he made his luck and showed us, his family, that we could make our luck too - with love, discipline and a little inventiveness - the world was ours.

Here is a poem by one of his favourite writers, Robert W. Service:

Heart o' the North

And when I come to the dim trail-end,
I who have been Life's rover,
This is all I would ask, my friend,
Over and over and over:

A little space on a stony hill
With never another near me,
Sky o' the North that's vast and still,
With a single star to cheer me;

Star that gleams on a moss-grey stone
Graven by those who love me --

There would I lie alone, alone,
With a single pine above me;

Pine that the north wind whinneys through --
Oh, I have been Life's lover!
But there I'd lie and listen to
Eternity passing over.

Bravado in the face of Insecurity...ha! I laugh at you silly nimbob!

2012-02-01T11:16:00.000-04:00

Dear Ms. Morrison,

It has come to the attention of the Bureau of Risk Avoidance Maintenance that you have been feeling and expressing some measure of confidence. Agents of BRAM have heard reports that you told your writing group that you felt 'pretty good' about your writing life and that 'this was going to be your year'. We understand (through a careful analysis of your postings and visits to the mail box) that you are actively pursuing publishment of your ...ahem...writings.

We at BRAM wish to express the dangers inherent in such activity. Why if every writer took it into their heads to feel 'confident' and 'pretty good' what do you suppose might happen? It is for your own good, nay your safety, that you curb your desire to bring your writing out into the open air instead of keeping it safely locked down in a drawer or computer file where it belongs.

Counselling people to continue the healthy and SAFE practices of avoiding risk in all its forms is the mandate of BRAM. Here are the risks you will be exposed to if you continue on in this dangerous fashion:

You will receive rejections. This is a known fact. Very few writers put their material out to the public without suffering from some rejection.
That rejection may lead you to becoming despondent and you may miss important 'real' work because of it.
You may receive acceptances. This has been known to happen.
If you receive offers of publication or an agent desires to 'take you on' you may get giddy and drink foreign produced drinks such as tequila or Lagavullan.
Your possible acceptance may lead the public to expect more writing from you.
This will lead to possibly more rejection.
And most importantly - should you get published - people will see what you've been up to. Are you sure you want to risk that?

We here at BRAM hope you will take this warning to heart. Please go back to your hovel or attic or wherever you write and contemplate that a little insecurity now will lead to a much SAFER life. Bravado is ruinous.

Your Servant,

Ms. Edna Squelch,
BRAM secretary of warnings

I thought I would share this letter I got recently. What do you think? For more on the insecure writers support group visit Alex Cavanaugh and do a little blog hopping.

hop over to Burrowers, Books & Balderdash

2012-01-31T06:00:00.001-04:00

Although I'm on a blog sabbatical, I still have my bloggy duty over at the Burrow - do come over and see me there - I'm talking topical tuesday...
and for me today - that means talking about writing novels that address themes of social injustice and whether one can do that without being preachy or heavy-handed.
Come on over...

Dear All and All

2012-01-26T08:40:00.000-04:00

Dear fellow bloggers and commentors and lurkers and all and all,
I am taking a blog break. I have to. I really want to get this book as good as I can before the first of March. I intended to start sending it out the first of February but due to the process I alluded to in my last post, that won't be possible. I also thought I would be having my 'usual slow January'. Nope. It has been full of clients and workshops and well...work. And a darn good thing that is too - it eases the general pain of poverty and lets my imagination work on plot developments rather than survival probabilities.
I will not be posting for a month, I imagine. For me it isn't the posting that is time consuming. I am used to writing quick pieces - I was a journalist in my spotty youth and have kept the facility - but I don't think it is fair to have people read and comment on my pieces when I'm not coming around to their blogs. And I simply can't comment in a fast fashion. I know, I know - I can write posts quickly but that is because I ruminate on them in my bed in the morning - so then I just need to throw them down. But to comment means to ruminate on the spot - takes me longer. I don't like comments from folks JUST for the sake of commenting. In transactional anaylsis we call that 'ritual' or 'pastiming'. Not many strokes are exchanged. It's okay, it keeps the grease of human communication moving, but I like to really grok what I've read and then comment on it. And so, dear readers, I will be taking a hiatus (isn't that a nice word), a gap from the bloggy world. I'm sure I'll visit but not with the same urgency as before. I hope I see you all in a month and with GOOD news.
with tremendous respect and affection,

Jan

Tuesday Challenge - structure, structure, structure

2012-01-24T10:07:00.000-04:00

Yes, I'm getting my query package together. It is zooming right along. I have a plan and a girl with a plan is a good thing. Bu.......t! Part of doing this is to write several synopses and in doing that I stumbled upon - no, I didn't stumble upon it - a structure cheat sheet was given to me by Miriam Forster from Dancing with Dragons, who got it from The Dark Salon - Alexandra Sokoloff - a great site!
I immediately saw it as a great device for beating my synopsis into order. And it has been - I've been quite swoony with it, actually. In doing it (what? you ask) - in filling in the details I have realized that my novel does have quite a solid structure. But it isn't exactly in the same sequence that is outlined in the narrative structure that Alexandra lays out. My mid-point reversal isn't quite at my mid-point and perhaps I have two of them - and the enemy or obstacle is more within than without and uh...the black moment isn't black enough. So I'm tinkering in my mind with the structure of my plot.

I'm sure you all will understand when I say that I don't WANT to be tinkering with the narrative right now. Unh...unh. I want it done and dusted - put into a tidy package and sent off to those who will see it.
In the middle of this I realize one of the trigrams of the I CHING - #64 - Before Completion

No. 64, Before Completion:
“Before Completion. Success.
But if the little fox, after nearly completing the crossing,
Gets his tail in the water.
There is nothing that would further."

           Yesterday's final changing line said, " . . the turning point is at hand. . . . If she moves forward, good fortune will follow." [Huang].
     And today's future reading says, "You need to move carefully --- like a little fox crossing an ice-covered river." But you do need to keep moving.

         This is the last hexagram in the I Ching, but it does not signal an end.   It describes "the condition before transition." [The Image]

           ". . . it could suggest that you are not prepared to see clearly what must be done and take the final steps into the future. This may be a fear of the emptiness that sometimes comes after achieving a goal, or, on a more primal level, a fear of death. . . . All aspects of life and human affairs must come to an end and begin anew. The awareness and acceptance of this is the richness of the human experience." [Wing]

The Challenge today, dear readers, is to look at your plan with some dispassion - in my case I must not think I'm at the end when there are still danger signs (ice is tricky near the shore). I will keep moving but I will not let my self-imposed dead-line get in the way of my goal to have kept at this novel until it is the best it can be before letting it out. Is there anything in your plan (either your overt or secret plan) that needs adjusting to reflect the circumstances? Perhaps you've decided that you will write in first person because someone said you should for your first novel and yet? Or you have kept to a device, a convention of a genre even though you think, secretly, that it is works against YOUR story?

*special thanks to National Geographic and Pics-site.com for the picture

Now I must get back to work with dear Gwen by my side. For it is writing Tuesday and a rainy cold old day it is too.

Who they are! What they want! How to Win them Over!

2012-01-21T12:03:00.000-04:00

Who They Are? - agents, publishers, editors.

What they want? - hm mm...I think they want to do well at their work, make names for their clients and find gems that others have overlooked. Maybe they just want to be left alone because they are far too busy already. Some of them want to garden, or collect antique bicycles. For my purpose I hope they want good novels with compelling stories. Oh oh, I'm starting to sound like them. They want reasonable writers with staggering novels of genius. Do the two go hand-in-hand? Hard to say. How about staggering writers of genius with reasonable novels?

How to Win them Over? - send them well-written query packages with no more than they ask for and be patient. Send them good writing samples and synopses that show you aren't dicking around. Get their names straight and be polite. Follow all the rules or give them damn good reasons for not doing so.

How do I know this? I've been reading Jeff Herman's Guide to Book Publishers, Editors, & Literary Agents (Canadian publishers included!). 2010. Had it for a bit. Can't get the next one just yet. I really really like this book. It is just plain fun to read as well as being highly informative. Figures I'd notice the fun part first, but honestly, reading that some agent in Vermont is a cheese-maker on the side - I love that! I've been dipping into this book since I got it about a year ago. But not too much because I wasn't ready. Now I am.

Here's one of the things. I would like an agent for True. Not so sure about The Rock Walker - might be able to get a publisher without one initially. But for True. There are 30 literary agencies in Canada. Yes, 30. And a fair number of them are academic and not interested in novels. I'd say there is about seven who might be up for what I do. Might be. Now, before you gasp in astonishment - there are only a few more than 200 in Herman's Guide from the States. He includes a Canadian section on publishers but not on agents. I have a list of agents from The Association of Canadian Publishers.

I have chosen four Canadian agencies to approach starting in February. One has an agent that expressed some interest in my first novel but after requesting a partial (and then another partial) decided that my writing wasn't strong enough. I think it is now and I liked the communications we had - yes, even the final refusal. She was straight-forward and respectful. I know authors who work with her agency - I know authors in every agency that I'm approaching. Not so that I would ask for a referral but I know them and their work and it seems like they are happy with their agents.

I will also begin to send out my package to a few American agents. I would prefer a Canadian agency as my story has a connection to Canadian landscapes and aboriginal peoples. But for me, that is like saying that I would have liked to have a pelvic affiliate (husband, partner, boyfriend) who is a millionaire and a Buddhist. Well yeah - but only if he is also Ron who is neither. Right now. In other words, in the immortal words of dating sites - 'broaden your parameters for a better result'. Okey-dokey.

As to what is in the package - it will be different for each agent. Some agencies want the first ten pages, some the first four. Some want a good long synopsis - some a one-pager. I think all the ones I've chosen accept email submissions. I hope so. But if not - I'll get out the nice paper and make sure my ink is topped up. I know how to make things look nice and I know those things count. My editor is cleaning up any copy I send out -double checking my punctuation and all of that. Together we'll make sure every bit of it is tight and bright.

Oh - and thanks to Miriam Forster from Dancing with Dragons, who tipped me off to a great device - it is a hero's journey type cheat-sheet for checking on your narrative structure. I used it to create a synopsis and it worked a treat! It is from The Dark Salon - Alexandra Sokoloff - a great site!

So there you are my dearios - keep up the writing, the dreaming and the scheming.

Tuesday Challenge - celebrating and walking

2012-01-17T10:12:00.000-04:00

Those who read my blog on a fairly regular basis will know that on Sunday I finished my final revision. This means two things, at least. Two things that I want to have all of you challengers contemplate. The first is - how do you celebrate reaching your goals?

Celebration - I'm putting on my psychotherapist hat for a moment. For those of you who are interested, that hat is a rich velvety dark blue affair with a slight point that I fold softly down so it doesn't intimidate. Yes, it is a wizardy thing but understated. Back to the celebration. For many of us, most of us, I might even suggest all of us, the true understanding of celebration has eroded and become an empty ritual. Sure we get it up for someones birthday, a graduation, etc...but we do it either with too much gluck and glitz and not enough heart, or with a panicky feeling of guilt - especially if it is ourselves we are celebrating. What happens when we ignore our goal-posts and just trudge on up the next hill? The child in us gets discouraged and says 'what's the use'. In fact, reading Daniel Kahneman's amazing new book Thinking, Fast and Slow, I'm aware that when we use our brain for too long of a time without resting it or celebrating it - we start to make stupid decisions, we veer off our healthy habits, we negate the very strides we've taken. If we continue to ignore our need to stop and celebrate even our smallest of victories, our inner-kid gets cranky and stops doing what it does best - play in the world of imagination, create and inspire.

For those of you who are new to the idea of celebration I'm going to give you a few notions of how to go about it. It doesn't have to be a big deal. I called down to the guy when I knew I had a chance of finishing on Sunday, 'Can we go to the movies tonight if I finish this revision?' and he answered, 'Of course we can!'. He didn't say and I didn't ask but we both knew that even if I didn't finish we could go to the movies. I need a carrot and a stick and he knows me well. It was heavenly. We went off and entered the magic of the cinema and watched the latest Downey doing Sherlock Holmes and it was good. My kid felt treated and I felt like I could go on to the next mountain refreshed. So the parts of this you need to note are;

it can be something small that you might do anyway.
you need to state your intention so your kid hears it loud and clear "we will celebrate this victory!"
you need to do it as close to the victory as possible. Making it a no biggish-deal will help with this.
it needs to fit the accomplishment - going to Paris because I finished a revision would be goofy. When I get a contract, I'll go to Paris!

Now for the second thingy: Walking in the Woods
I know, I know. I've been telling people to walk in the woods for over twenty years. All my clients, all my friends, all my everyone who has an ear to listen. Why? Because we need to exchange particles with the trees. They remind us of what is important with their simple selves and they actually let off particles which calm us down and make life worth living. And the walking does some of the same. I try and walk every day in the woods. It is why I got a personal trainer, Hoagy, to live in my home. He knows about strolling, sniffing the air, and trying to spot wildlife and he is generous with his knowledge. He understands that to spend a half-hour appreciating the nowness of our senses - our sight, our taste, our ability to smell, to touch, to move, to hear - this is what causes us to come back into sync with our true purpose.

Those are my two gifts to you today - figure out ways to celebrate early and often; and walk in the woods. We'll all be evolving into a better society if we do those two things.

Where I Am Today on my Journey

2012-01-16T09:38:00.001-04:00

It is bright and sunny and, I imagine, cold. I have plenty of clients this week and a course to give at the university. In other words - a full slate.

Today I'm meeting my editor to discuss next steps with the book. For all of you who thrill at the words 'my editor' let me explain. My editor isn't a representative of a publishing company that is ferrying me through the system. I'm not there yet. My editor is a woman who I'm paying to work with my book. I've known her for a long time in other capacities but was thrilled to find out this was an area she had expertise in and wanted to expand. A match made in literary heaven. And she is a total treat - she gets me and what I want to do AND very importantly has the best sort of detachment from my goals and ego. She will happily tell me what sucks and what works and I will happily listen. Not only that, but when I talk to her it is like talking to myself out loud. I get ideas, sparks leap between neuron receptors - it is thrilling. She has the knack of asking the right questions.

Today we'll be talking (or mainly me today as she hasn't had a chance to crack the newest revision) about what I want to do next. For the next two weeks, in my writing time, I want to gather together my package - my query letter, a number of synopses, and make sure my first fifty pages are CLEAN. I want to work that synopsis with my editor because she is extremely good at ferreting out what I want to say and how I might best do that. As well, I will be planning my campaign.

Who do I want to send this to first? I do have an agent in mind - an agent who liked my first book, Feckless, enough to ask for several lengthy chunks of it, but didn't think my writing was quite there yet. I'm hoping she likes this story and likes what I've done to improve my writing. And what would that be, some of you newbies might be asking? Let us others answer in resounding unison 'We've improved our writing by writing!' I have other agents in mind as well, ones I've been salting away in my 'possible agents' file, because I like who they publish or I've heard good stuff about them or perhaps just because of an intuitive hit.

For the next two weeks I'll be doing these tasks. Then on February 1st, I'll begin sending out the packages. At that time I'll also begin revising The Rock Walker. Think I have maybe a month of work on that and then another doing the same thing I'm doing for True. If I'm extremely busy then it'll take me longer. When I'm ready to send that out, I'm going back to Feckless and revising that. That's a HUGE job but it has been haunting me. I like the story, the characters and the feel of it. I need to tighten up the writing and the structure (the structure is always my bugaboo). Then when that is done, I'll finish the second Kitty MacDonald mystery (Earth Bound) and start the process of revising that. The thing is - the more I write, the less crazy revision time I have. Because I write them better to begin with. I'm not there yet, though.

Sending True out is terrifying to me, in case you haven't gotten that. I sent Feckless and The Rock Walker out before they were done and then had to beat a hasty retreat, so I've been ever so slow and careful with True. But I didn't write it to sit in a drawer, so here goes!
And how are your goals shaping up mid-January?

I Just Finished My Revision...whew!

2012-01-15T14:22:00.000-04:00

I did. I finished the revision I'm calling 'my final revision'. Oh, I know that I'm not nearly done with changes and so on BUT this is the final revision - in two weeks I'm going to start sending out packages to agents. I've fretted and stayed up late nights, I've wondered if I've led 'her' (my story) in the right directions - whether I've been too strict or too lenient but now it will be time for others to say. I'm going to let her go out in the big world and make a name for herself...
And now, I'm going to leash up my more than patient dog, Hoagy, and take him for a stroll in the sunny day.
whew...I feel weird.

What I am doing...on this foggy cool day...revising and strategizing

2012-01-13T14:59:00.000-04:00

I'm working at home! I'm writing - well, I'm revising. Getting close to done. My deadline for this revision of True is Monday and I think I'll be done by then. I have about 15 chapters left to polish. I'm meeting my editor on Monday - will give her this to do an all-over read and talk about my package for submission. I want to start sending it out on Feb. 1st - not sure of my strategy with that but it will be to agents first of all and then I'll see. Then it is to work on revising The Rock Walker. I want to squeeze this year - make it my year for something to happen in the world of writing.
On the other hand, I'm feeling a big uplift with my therapy work - seeing more clients and wanting to continue expanding. I guess I'm just ambitious right now. I know that if I can get a good and secure clientele, that I can relax the worry about finances which is counter to being creative. I know it will give me less writing time but I'm better than I was - spend less time futzing about and more just getting to it. I'll be doing some training, workshops, this year too and that has me looking at how I want to do that.

It is time to think about putting this house on the market. We agreed to one more year last spring and I feel fine about getting it out there with all the rest of my offerings! I want to live in a smaller home. Right now there are three bedrooms, an office for each of us (my guy and me), a large workshop and a rec room. I would like a two-bedroom cottage with my office carved out of either our bedroom or the living space. I feel lonely in here when Sarah is gone and that is half the time. When we built this home we had two kids in Middle School. Now we have one with only one year to go (half a year if she does an accelerated graduation). And, most importantly, I'd like to have a smaller mortgage.

This home, like my novel, will take a certain skill in selling. We need to find the right agent - one who understands that an ICF (insulated concrete form) house is vastly different than a stick house (conventional wood-frame). We spend hardly anything to heat it. It was designed mostly by my guy with a little input from me. It will take a special buyer to appreciate these things and we're willing to wait for that. It is the opposite of cookie-cutter - it was designed to be very functional and without those things that people tend to want until they have them - things like cathedral ceilings (lose heat, make you feel lonely) and en suite bathrooms. Instead we have a kick-ass kitchen, a very efficient sorting system for recycling, a room with a bath and sink but no toilet as well as a conventional bathroom. Closet doors that open instead of ineffectual sliding ones. A feeling of space and warmth. I could go on. The point I'm trying to make is that this isn't a conventional home and it will be harder to sell unless we have an agent who gets that. I think that might be true of my novel too. It isn't exactly literary (like our home isn't exactly artsy) but it isn't formulaic either.
Strategy is my word for the day. I need a selling strategy - one to get me the agents I want for both my book and our home, and one to increase my therapy practice to a comfortable place.

a picture taken from Betty's Island...

What do you think? How do you prepare to sell something you care about?

Tuesday Challenge - beyond concepts

2012-01-10T09:48:00.001-04:00

A short challenge today - I'm over at the Burrowers going on about the Northern Gateway Pipe-line controversy. Do visit...

This is a two-part exercise. The first is to sit quietly and calm your mind. When it is calmed down a bit from all its discurviness, I want you to listen. As you listen you will hear noises, for instance when I do that right now I can hear the sound of Gwen dusting off her mocs, taking out papers, my sweet patootie coughing and moving towards his den, the snow falling (nah, I can't hear that) but as I do it - I start stories - why is Gwen dusting off slippers when by their very nature they are for keeping the dust off her socks? Papers? Isn't she going to write on her computer - doesn't SP have any work outside today? And so forth. In this exercise, let go of the meaning of the sounds, try and hear them without thinking about what created them. If you'd rather do this, soften your gaze and see the forms of what is in front of you without attributing their purpose to them, as if you just landed on the planet - oh black thing, rectangular, soft grey thing through shiny clear surface, etc...

2nd part - take this to your work. Describe something by its seeable reality or hearable reality - without letting us know what it is. This is hard. We want to tell a story with every sense we experience. Keep trying until you are satisfied - then send it off to me if you like!
Here's a photo I took using the same method. It's called a Miksang shot: whoops, can't do that because of my computer woes - maybe later today I will...

Saturday thoughts

2012-01-07T18:25:00.000-04:00

I'm back at it. Well I have to be if I'm going to keep to my schedule. I want to finish my revision by the fifteenth. I've already set it up with the person who'd editing for me. She'll do a read of the whole thing without touching it - just as a reader this time - and then we'll sit and talk. For the last two weeks of January I'll get my package together. Only one huge awful problem with that. My computer died. Oh, I know, I haven't mentioned that here - or at least I don't think I did. It died a couple of days ago. I had my latest revision backed up on my external hard-drive but not all my package bits and pieces - not my brilliant synopsis which just about killed me to write and that I finally got.
Sweet Patootie says my hard-drive is OK but something is wrong with something. He's been fiddling with the whole thing for the last few days. The latest thing is just to take the thing to someone who can salvage all my files - including all my mail and photos etc... I have some of them but not all of them. And I'm on an old outlook express. One thing I am going to do for sure is to switch to gmail. This just sucks so big I can't deal. I've been meaning to do it for ages but I knew I'd have to get a hold of everyone and well...I'm lazy. There. I said it.
So...today I fine-tuned ten of 51 chapters. Even ones I thought had been fine-tuned to death. The thing is that we get so acclimatized to our own schlock. Not now. I want anything that sticks out even the tiniest bit as boring or awkward or not quite the right voice to be gone. I'd happily lose 7 thousand words.
And I'm trying to do this in the most detached way possible. Not freaking out that it is all garbage or pretty brilliant but like it has nothing to do with me. Like I'm a plumber or something. A steely-eyed technician - like the one that's going to recover all my files. Yes.
How is your new year going?

Insecure Writers' Support Group and The Writers' Prayer

2012-01-04T06:00:00.015-04:00

Don't you feel all fresh and vigorous after your holiday? You, you over there with kitty litter in your hair? You been sleeping off a thousand shortbread cookies and couldn't stumble to your bed? You watched Bad Santa and thought the main character had some redeeming factors? You came off your sugar high, your post-apocalyptic, I can manage both my creative life, my $ life, my dysfunctional home life and the Boxing Day sales? Is that an ereader sitting underneath your plastic 'seasonal' tree and you too exhausted to figure out how to download fifty thousand FREE books?

Did you open up your current wip file and have a look at what you were feverish about before Xmas and peruse it? Did it look like codswaddle to you? Did you have to look up codswaddle? Do you wish you could write a whole NEW book based on the word 'codswaddle'?

Well then, come on in and sit down. The meeting's about to begin.
My name is Jan and I'm a freaked-out writer. I'm terrified to tell my pelvic affiliate that I have wasted the last twelve years of my life pursuing an empty meaningless dream.

I cannot learn to play the accordion!

Oh, the other one...well, I'm not giving up that one yet. I still have some fight in me about being a writer. I still BELIEEEEEEEVE! Jimmy Swaggert just came over and thucked me on the forehead. NO, I said THucked me - you know - with the heel of his hand. And now I'm lying on the floor, stars spinning in a slow constellation above me while I type out these words.

That reminds me. When I was in grade 9 I learned to type in typing class with Mr. Cunningham. He hated me. Why? Because I would only learn to TYPE, not to justify, not to set up a proper business letter - NO - only to type words because I was going to be a WRITER not a secretary. It was 1966 or something like that. I got a 50 which I proudly took home to my parents. "See, I'm a writer - I can type. I'm not going to be a secretary so don't even think about that." No worries, said my parents, wouldn't even consider it. Thought you were going to be a veterinarian? I huffed out of the living room, my head held high.

And that my dear fellow sufferers is the truth. The truth is what I write. Day in and day out. So, without moving from wherever you are, join in the Writers' Prayer.

Oh Generic Entity, please look upon me, your humble servant in something or rather and grant me your boon. (what is a boon? oh never mind, you know, you're the great generic entity) Grant me the resilience to withstand the slings and arrows of those who would wish me to do other than I would wish me to do - that is get a real job and quit going on and on about being a writer. Give onto me the ability to sit down and write in a clear and engaging style after playing four hundred and thirty-nine games of Frozen Bubbles. Please allow me to continue in my wondrous deluded state and produce reams of prose so stunning as to...well, stun people, especially that guy from my old high school days who thinks he's so smart just because he's had twelve books published. Thank you in advance...and speaking of advance let my advance rain down upon my humble head in great swarths of luminous moolah.

Feel free to modify to suit your own needs.
See you at next month's meeting of The Insecure Writer's Support Group! (go to link for more members)

Tuesday Challenge - pushing through research

2012-01-03T09:52:00.000-04:00

Researching the background of one's novel can be exhilarating by times, or it can be tedious. Sometimes I wonder when I am lost in some web library of information and misinformation on residential schools for Aboriginals in the south-western corner of Alberta, why I bother. Or I go into such a deep and convoluted jungle of fact and whimsy that I cannot find the path back to my own work and the relevance of one thing to another. Or I find something out, unknown to me at any rate, which makes me think I have to take the whole manuscript apart to make it good and true.
Today I turned to The Modern Library Writer's Workshop by Stephen Koch. On his chapter entitled Finishing, Koch discusses how late one might continue researching.

Keep on researching until the last day. According to his wife, Katia, this is what Thomas Mann did. "When he was working on a book, he immersed himself to an extraordinary degree in the relevant subject matter, learning all he could right up until the book was finished. he got hold of everything worth knowing on the topic, collecting a mass of material, but as soon as the book was finished, he forgot it all again. He was no longer interested in it." Late research will function like all crowning touches, its relevance and usability, even at the last minute, will be instantly clear, leaping out at you. Indeed, some of the very best research of all is just such "last-minute" research, precisely because your sense of what is relevant now has a pitch of completeness and sensitivity it has never had before."

I find this tremendously encouraging. I am still left with questions, of course. How does one know what is "everything worth knowing on the topic" and how did he get "hold of" it? This was aeons before google - it was slogging through actual dusty tomes, searching shelves and catalogues, talking to people by WRITING to them and hoping in a week or so you would hear back. Ye Gads.
Anne Lamott in her book Bird by Bird has a slightly more folksy take on research. She calls it 'Calling Around' for one thing. She believes that most humans love to be asked questions about what they know and you should bravely pick up the phone and call these people. Of course, you have to know what they are expert in first. "Hey Uncle Phil, know anything about wild plants in the prairies? No? Uh, know anyone who does?"
In Stephen King's On Writing, I finally found something about research. I say finally because King didn't put in so much as table of contents let alone an index so I had to use my intuition as to where it might be. Luckily I've read this great book about a zillion times so it finally showed itself. King says that research is a specialized kind of back story.

And please, if you do need to do research because parts of your story deal with things about which know little or nothing, remember that word back. That's where research belongs: as far in the background and the back story as you can get it. You may be entranced with what you're learning about flesh-eating bacteria, the sewr system of New York, or the I.Q. potential of collie pups, but your readers are probably going to care a lot more about your characters and your story.

King ends with this warning: "Just don't end up with the tail wagging the dog; remember that you are writing a novel, not a research paper. The story always comes first."

Today's challenge is to look at your wip and honestly assess what you may have fluffed over that needs to be more thoroughly researched. If you are in the early parts of a story then you may just need to think about what areas you are going to need to research. If you are revising, like me, you may still have some markers holding a place needing research, or you may need to bury your research in the back story and not hit your readers over the head with it. Wherever you are and whatever type of book you may be writing, have a look at your research with a cold eye.
I'll do the same.
These two pictures are of a Pow Wow I went to two summers ago, researching for my book, True.

Rerun of Writing Goals with a few amendments - yee haw 2012

2012-01-01T22:03:00.000-04:00

I wrote this post on the fifth of December but wanted to repost it with amendments here and there as I see fit!

Where am I and where am I going?

As this year winds down and I am sixteen days from turning 60 - yep you read that right - my mind turns to what I've accomplished and what paths I still want to explore. I have found one of the most brilliant uses of blogging is for me to state my goals. I tend to like to do what I say I will even if I know that it would be very rare for any of my readers to remember what I said I would do, let alone bug me about it. Still - it seems to work and I like anything that works. I also find that organizing my thoughts and plans out loud helps me find out what exactly I've been formulating below the surface. Capeesh?

TRUE - after my latest attack on it, True stands at 87 thousand. It is in fair shape having been gone over with a fine-tooth editorial comb by the editor I hired to do so. It is in third person now and many of the changes I desired to make have been made. I still have a couple of seemingly biggys to do. I want to rework the ending and also go through the editorial letter I wrote myself a few weeks back to make sure I've addressed everything in that. Am I going to have time to do this before the new year? I don't think so - I'm busy at work and have all the fun things (yep, even we Buddhists get ensnared in holiday madness) that go with the season. I'm going to say that I will be done all revising by January 16th. I will take the next two weeks of January to get my submission package together - including editor going over every piece of the thing and starting afresh with an edit of the big piece. For my submission package I will want two or three chapters polished to shiny goodness, the longish synopsis and the shortish one, a bio and a covering letter. I don't think my editor will be able to do a copy edit of the whole manuscript but I won't be sending the whole thing out anywhoozie so that should be fine. February 1st I start submitting to agents and publishers. I plan on sending at least four packages a month until I hear back from somebody in a positive way.

UPDATE ON THIS PROJECT: Think I'm on schedule. I've checked out my editorial letter and made some changes from that. I'm still picking away at it but think it should be good by the 16th of this month - then two weeks to get packages ready. So, all good.

THE ROCK WALKER - this mystery has been done and dusted and read and reread but yet! Yep, back to the revising desk with it. I think it needs about a month's worth of revising, then it too will go to the editor for a hard look. So - February for TRW. Then probably March for rewrites from the editor's notes and then half of April to get the package ready for it. Then it too goes out the door - not to agents in this case - only to publishers.

EARTH BOUND - finish first draft by end of June. Then revise and work with editor. I'm thinking that this will be ready to send by September 1st.

Whew! Can I do it? Don't know but I do know it is do-able. The early part of the new year is my time to write. Biz is slow and snow days many - I should be able to hunker down and pitter-patter.

UPDATE: so far December was way busier than I thought (in terms of counselling practice) but I still imagine a slow down this month. So lots of writing to do and I'm ready to get at it seriously. I've talked to the person who edited True - she wants back at it and she'll also look at the mystery.

I'm ready to rock and roll - how about you?

Tuesday Challenge - if you can practice while distracted you are well trained

2011-12-27T10:25:00.000-04:00

I'm very distracted - my younger son is in town for the holidays - my elder son is still working out the kinks in his family - I have clients who are in a state of crisis - my house is messy and folks are coming to visit who haven't been before and who I don't know well (and you know what that means) - the tree is up and that make me feel much the same as when my nails are freshly polished - like everything is prone to insecurity.
When I sat down on my cushion this morning and drew a Lojong slogan card to contemplate it said 'If you can practice while distracted you are well trained'. Right.
Today, before my youngest son comes, and before I make up yet another shopping list (food), and before I check out the two sets of gifts yet to give (Canadian Babes gathering and Gomish- go here to find out about this holiday) I am going to work on my novel. Although chaos is reigning supreme I will practice my craft - I have an idea that I want to get down while it is hot in my brain pan.
Today's challenge is to carefully and fearlessly examine what excuses you come up with to not practice your craft. When you do that - decide that you will say the following words out loud:
"Even though I am distracted by X, I will sit down and write (draw, paint, create) for an hour. I will ignore my distractions by gently bringing my focus back to my work. All my distractions will wait for me or hopefully get lost!"
Let me know how it goes...

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-24T08:09:00.000-04:00

yesterday Gwen and I baked...we didn't write ...we did some Christmas baking. Not holiday baking, we agreed, Christmas baking. I made more twice-baked shortbreads (thank you Smitten Kitchen) and philly nuggets (thank you Mum) and whipped up a chili cuz my boys were coming by later. Gwen made oatcakes and cheesecake and a lemon meringue pie...

then we took Hoagy into the winter wonderland.

sometimes it is important to say yes to things that seem like they

should be a no.

Things like taking time in the frenzy to carefully fold in egg whites or let the dog try mouse hunting in the snow.

just because.

it was that sort of day.

thanks Gwen....

Tuesday Challenge - the books we keep close

2011-12-20T09:46:00.000-04:00

What books do you keep close to your writing? If you're like me you might have Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird, Stephen King's On Writing and about a dozen more writing books. You probably have a good dictionary, Fowler's Modern English Usage and Strunk & White's Elements of Style. Perhaps you have a thesaurus and maybe even a rhyming dictionary. But I bet you have some other books too. Magical books that you keep on hand just for the vibe they radiate. Here are mine - A Dictionary of Symbols by J.E. Cirlot, Brewar's Dictionary of Phrase & Fable, Barbara Walker's The Woman's Dictionary of Symbols & Sacred Objects, Joseph Campbell's The Hero with A Thousand Faces, and the I Ching.
Tomorrow I turn 60 and some of these books will be opened and perused - the I Ching, The Hero with a Thousand Faces undoubtedly and perhaps all of them, as I look for portents and signs as how to go forth with this next decade.
The challenge for today is to take one of your magical books and open it up. Shake the dust off it and peer into it for guidance. I once shared a home with a law student. My other room-mate and I often found him lying in bed, asleep, with a heavy tome laying against his face. He said the knowledge would seep down into his brain and perhaps it did as he did become a lawyer. I believe that occasionally, despite his example, we must look into the books that we hold dear. Why do I keep these near - it can't be just the magic of them?

I opened The Hero with A Thousand Faces this morning. It fell open to the chapter entitled 'The Return'. If you know his work on the hero's journey (and what Star Wars' fan doesn't?) you will recognize The Return as an essential part of the journey.After you have accomplished the quest you must still return with the goods. Often the hero refuses this part of the journey - at least initially. Included among these are the Buddha who was tempted to not communicate his awakening, and several saints of the Christian sort, who died in ecstasy. Do I get this? It means that when you finally get to your bliss state you hang out there, chatting with the angels and drinking mead or mimosas or whatever the nectar of the gods is. Returning is the act of bringing your hard won booty to the world. It isn't enough to hide out in your garret, thrilled to bits with your wonderful prose. You MUST bring it to the world or it is all for naught and you've only fed your ego.
The return is almost as fraught as the initial going forth. Think of Orpheus and Eurydice. Who could imagine that you could rescue your love from the netherworld? But he almost did - at the end his backward glance, his human frailty giving a sad ending to a glorious story.
Today I will think of The Return and what it means in the context of my novel. I will consider where my protagonist has refused The Return and when she gets it, making sure that I have both of these clearly explicated. How about you? What magical book are you going to open today? What will you take from it?

And where has my writing practice gone?

2011-12-19T12:52:00.000-04:00

I haven't been writing. I've been making tiny worlds (Mimi Kirchner is to blame for this) and getting ready to celebrate Christmas. Yes, I know, I'm a Buddhist but hey! I've been making felt creations, peanut brittle and shortbread. I've been going to work (still amazingly busy), Christmas concerts, hilarious Holiday Farces (thanks Malcom for your yearly confection) and carol sings. I've been buying gifts online and organizing my crazy and wildly flung family. I will see both my boys on a day NEAR Christmas. That's good enough. I will see my grandkids on my birthday (the 21st - still not to late!!!) and on Christmas day for a short visit. I will see friends and family in and around my birthday and in and around the days proper. I will celebrate Gomish with my best pals - a long-standing (ok - four years) tradition where we gather at a farmhouse for a decidedly adult celebration involving food, drinks, games and endless chat. Writing? Not so much. My plan will be to fly at it in the new year. I know I'll be less busy at work so...

I'm trying not to stress over this and I'm sharing it with you so that if you have a practice that has gone missing, you won't be heard on yourself either. Let's just promise that we will get back on the horse called 'Discipline' and I know we'll keep that promise.

Hope you're all grand and I'll be by to visit. Get out the rum toddies...

dreaming

2011-12-16T08:24:00.000-04:00

I only have time for a short post today...clients await and errands abound. I am in that dreamy yummy state of mind that one attains after reading a good and lovely picture book. I buy books and only books for my grandchildren at Christmas. They have lots of others who buy gimcracks, pinafores and short pants - for me, Christmas is books. They are, alas alack, above the age that welcomes picture books but their mother, my daughter-in-law, loves them and collects them, so I can be satisfied in my buying splurge and include one or two favourites a year. This year I bought Sophie's Masterpiece by Eileen Spinelli with illustrations by Jane Dyer. It is a captivating story about a young female spider,Sophie, who ventures into a boarding house. She is an artist and meets with various reactions to her marvellous creations. I've bought this book before but hadn't read it in awhile. It is so lovely. I also bought Stewart Little by EB White. That will be for my youngest and the elder grandchildren can hear him read it aloud.
Buying these and many more (a sumptuously illustrated Jungle Book) has me dreaming. I have a pal who is an illustrator. We've long considered working together on a project of our own design, having edited and illustrated others' works. I need to dream some more about this. It would be a good resting place between fretting about sending out manuscript packages to agents and publishers.
Yesterday I took a grant proposal in to a government agency. I've done it before with no positive response but I've decided that I will keep on doing it (there are application deadlines twice a year) until I am successful.
I dream of what I could do with a bit of money. I could go to south-western Alberta and beef-up my research on the Blackfoot Tribe. I could spend two whole weeks in a cabin doing nothing but writing and revising. I could breath a bit...
What dreams are spinning in your writerly heads? What can you do to make them come true?

Tuesday Challenge

2011-12-13T09:30:00.000-04:00

As the New Year approaches the mind goes to goals - to opportunities missed or challenges left undone. I will wait for the actual new year before challenging you to make a new list of goals but today's post will be a getting ready for the same.
Your challenge is to write down every thought you've had around your creativity that includes regret, remorse, jealousy or envy. Write it all down in gloriously petulant fashion. It could look like this:

My third grade teacher made me mouth the words in the choir because my voice stunk.
I didn't get any grant proposals accepted at Canada Council.
One of my friends just published her third book.
I didn't enter any competitions with my work because I decided there was no point.

You get the idea. Now the second part of this challenge will be to look at each of the items on your list and decide what you can do about it NOW. And by now - I mean right now or in the following weeks. For instance for the 3rd one, I could call my friend and ask her out for lunch, on me, and ask her if she would be willing to tell me about her experience of getting where she is today. I could look up competitions that seem workable and make up a competition schedule for the new year. I could find out when Canada Council is next taking proposals and get back on that horse. I could join a choir. You get it.

Now go! Here is a picture of my granddaughter singing in her choir. Hannah's the one with the hair band and no glasses - right in the centre.

Insecure Writers' Support Group - A Call to Arms!

2011-12-07T10:29:00.001-04:00

Hi, my name is Jan and I'm an insecure writer.
To meet other members of our group go to Alex's site - he has the clubhouse.

I just tried doing a riff off of the 12 step program. I'm a big believer in AA and think it is an effective program. Heck, I know it is. My dad was a member for the last 19 years of his life - I went to his first meeting with him. But I couldn't do it. Why? Because writing isn't a disease - it is a cure.
The insecurity is a problem though. The lack of confidence to boldly move into our writing life - to truly engage with our skills, talent, and intention as writers - that's a problem. I don't want to be an insecure writer. Neither do I want to be a secure one - a smug, self-satisfied one. Why? Because I think they are generally just insecure ones in disguise. I don't want to be a tortured starving artist, or an ascetic to any cause. I want to be a journeyman, a working writer, a dependable craftsperson of the word. I want people to pick-up my books and sigh knowing that they are guaranteed a good read. Like John Irving, Graham Greene and Margaret Drabble.
Insecurity is a disease. It eats away at the soul and erodes all that is good in a writer. It causes us to second-guess every aspect of our writing and to (if given rein) encourage us to be 'safe' writers of bland missives, or spectacularly outrageous writers of unreadable prose. It causes us to keep our novels in drawers instead of in the postal system looking for a new home. It causes us to stutter when folks ask us what we're up to - not wanting the focus of their attention on our work. Or it causes us to clamber after false attention and feed our ego not our craft. Down with this insecurity I say. Let us instead put our energy into working our craft and being proud of where that brings us, of supporting fellow writers and encouraging emerging ones. Let us be proud to use words to brighten up the dark places in the world, to lighten the load of seriousness, or illuminate ignorance. I call on all my fellow writers to put down the cloak of insecurity and pick up their pens and go forth into the fray!

Tuesday Challenge - counting our blessings

2011-12-06T09:22:00.000-04:00

For today's challenge I have dipped into Write for Your Lives by Joseph Sestito. Sestito is a Buddhist and writes about how Buddhist teachings can inspire creative writing. From the chapter called Using Your Precious Human Life to the Fullest he writes about developing our sense of auspiciousness. To do this he suggests that we get in touch with how lucky we are to have arrived in our particular situation. He goes further and suggests that we write down everything from the most general auspicious details of our situation (I would say that I was born in a favoured and wealthy country at a time that is good for both women and men etc...) and our particular blessings (I met various people who mentored me in enlightened ways). You can do this for whatever particular spiritual practice you may have or just for your sense of meaningful existence. As a writer please go on to list those things that gave birth in you to that discipline - i.e. -

I have a partner who supports my writing even when it is a financial burden.
I have a friend who is a published writer and generous with her help.
I have a strong network of writers on the web who have created a community of encouragement.

You get the idea. So, write up your list and put it somewhere you can read it daily. I would like you to read it daily for a month - slowly and with careful intention. If you meditate you could put it on your cushion so it is part of your practice. You might put it over your writing desk or even on your fridge. Don't be shy with it - or self-conscious. If someone sees it what might they think? That you are grateful for your precious life, that is what. After you have done this for a month keep it handy for any times you slip back into lethargy or feel baulky about your practice as a writer. As you work through the next month feel free to add to your list as ideas arise.

What do you count as a blessing in your writing life?

Where am I and where am I going?

2011-12-05T10:39:00.001-04:00

As this year winds down and I am sixteen days from turning 60 - yep you read that right - my mind turns to what I've accomplished and what paths I still want to explore. I have found one of the most brilliant uses of blogging is for me to state my goals. I tend to like to do what I say I will even if I know that it would be very rare for any of my readers to remember what I said I would do, let alone bug me about it. Still - it seems to work and I like anything that works. I also find that organizing my thoughts and plans out loud helps me find out what exactly I've been formulating below the surface. Capeesh?

So, fresh from the inspiration of my fellow Burrower, the Water Tartlette, I am going to outline my writerly plans (for any other plans check my blog - Living the Complicated Simple Life - in the next little while).

TRUE - after my latest attack on it, True stands at 87 thousand. It is in fair shape having been gone over with a fine-tooth editorial comb by the editor I hired to do so. It is in third person now and many of the changes I desired to make have been made. I still have a couple of seemingly biggys to do. I want to rework the ending and also go through the editorial letter I wrote myself a few weeks back to make sure I've addressed everything in that. Am I going to have time to do this before the new year? I don't think so - I'm busy at work and have all the fun things (yep, even we Buddhists get ensnared in holiday madness) that go with the season. I'm going to say that I will be done all revising by January 16th. I will take the next two weeks of January to get my submission package together - including editor going over every piece of the thing and starting afresh with an edit of the big piece. For my submission package I will want two or three chapters polished to shiny goodness, the longish synopsis and the shortish one, a bio and a covering letter. I don't think my editor will be able to do a copy edit of the whole manuscript but I won't be sending the whole thing out anywhoozie so that should be fine. February 1st I start submitting to agents and publishers. I plan on sending at least four packages a month until I hear back from somebody in a positive way.

THE ROCK WALKER - this mystery has been done and dusted and read and reread but yet! Yep, back to the revising desk with it. I think it needs about a month's worth of revising, then it too will go to the editor for a hard look. So - February for TRW. Then probably March for rewrites from the editor's notes and then half of April to get the package ready for it. Then it too goes out the door - not to agents in this case - only to publishers.

EARTH BOUND - finish first draft by end of June. Then revise and work with editor. I'm thinking that this will be ready to send by September 1st.

Whew! Can I do it? Don't know but I do know it is do-able. The early part of the new year is my time to write. Biz is slow and snow days many - I should be able to hunker down and pitter-patter.

The year I turned fifty was a swell one. I met my sweet patootie, I did the Dublin Marathon and I started a novel. I plan on this upcoming year being equally exciting and enriching. I want some writing retreats scattered in there and hopefully a chance to attend a BIG writing conference. How about you all as the year winds down? Plans? Dreams? Let's make them realities.

Update on the Writing Life

2011-12-02T09:28:00.000-04:00

This week, other than Tuesday, has not been a writing week. It has not been a revising week or a blog reading week. It has been a very full work week. I love my work. I love the rhythm of seeing a full complement of clients and how my mind works when I'm doing that. How I come home tired as if I were a labourer and want nothing more than to watch West Wing reruns with my sweet patootie and wait for the step-dot to come home from Rent rehearsal and tell us how she's doing.
And I love making hay while the sun shines. I know that come January I'm going to have a lot of writing time. That is normal for most of us therapists. People tighten their belt in January - oh sure some make resolutions that may involve going to see a therapist - but most join gyms with their extra money and wait a few months before heading back my way. I understand.
So...my writing life has to take a back burner. It hasn't gone away since I was about 14 so I don't imagine it will now. It has waited patiently while I had kids, and full-time exhausting jobs, and family crises and moving homes, heartbreaks and reversals of fortunes. It doesn't leave me and I trust that.
Most importantly I LOVE MY WORK. I get to talk in a most intimate way with the most wonderful people. When I'm doing that - I don't want to do anything else. I think I'm pretty helpful as a therapist - I'm told I am by those who see me and I believe them. It isn't as if I'm not writing because I'm killing trees (done that) or doing time-management research in a bank (yep - check that off) or organizing mega-conferences (yep). I've done other meaningful work - run a daycare, taught therapy at university, worked with deeply disenfranchised youth - but this practice - that I've had for nearly twenty-five years is the bed-rock of my life. Like my writing self it has seen me through a lot and been fairly patient with it all.
I had someone mention to me lately that perhaps I wasn't giving my therapy practice my all since I was so engaged in other things. I've thought about that and although I won't have an opportunity to suggest to this person that they are wrong - I've at least had the opportunity to explore it for myself. They're wrong. My engagement with life is all about the same thing. I have one purpose and it is served by everything I do. My purpose is to wake up myself and others to the current reality of this moment. This glorious wondrous now. I do it in my therapy practice, when I'm teaching, when I'm blogging and when I'm writing. I do it when I'm clowning, playing the accordion and knitting a hat. I do it when I'm studying the dharma and sitting on my meditation cushion, when I'm walking the dog and attending my step-dot's wonderful performance in a musical. And I bring that all to my clients unabashedly. If they want to find therapists who do nothing but therapy, well, there are plenty of those.
As to my current writing project. I finished all the fiddly bits and a great many of the bigger bits. It will be ready to go out in the new year. huzzah!

Over at the Burrowers

2011-11-30T09:21:00.002-04:00

I'm over here at the Burrowers talking about writing through rejection and dejection. Come join me!

Tuesday Challenge - a monologue

2011-11-29T09:22:00.000-04:00

Sometimes a writer needs to give his or her protagonist a good long monologue. There is too much to be said or the passion of the speaker demands the pause that a monologue creates. This is difficult to do well but wonderful when it works. It can carry so much of the story and of the character. For many reasons this is a tool that is good to have in your back pocket. For those of us who got our chops down writing for theatre it is a natural but for people who come to writing through short stories and novels - a bit of a leap.

Your challenge today is to write a monologue of at least three pages. Don't forget to include the interruptions - those pauses while the speaker moves, picks up a glass and takes a sip, forgets himself in reverie or gazes out the window. These interruptions will make the rhythm of the piece, so do spend some time with it. And remember that the voice and the gestures are all intrinsic to who the speaker is. The purpose of this is to learn ways to let your character make long speeches that aren't boring or stilted. Do I need to remind you to read it out loud? I thought not.

Let me know how it goes.

Thank you to John Gardiner's iconic book The Art of Fiction for this exercise.

Freedom Friday

2011-11-25T09:57:00.000-04:00

A Friday with no clients! And it is clear and cool and I'm going to hang laundry and poke about on the net and start another hat (!) and look at my wip. I'm going to send off insurance claim stuff and pay some bills and walk the beasty-boy. I'm going to count my chickens and their eggs, kiss my man and do a fandango. I'm going to make a roasting pan full of slow-roasted vegies and pack my bag for my trip tomorrow to Chester with the Babes. I'm going to sweep down the stairs and give the den a really good going over. I'm going to pile up books for the second-hand book store and wipe down shelves with soapy water. I'm going to sew in ends (on three hats) and have a look at my lace project. I'm going to call my sister and my cousin. I'm going to find out where all the winter duds have gotten to. I'm going to do at least two chapters of revising. I'm going to do my drabbles for the Burrow Winter project. I'm going to do my back exercises and meditate. I've got to get going! It is nearly ten o'clock!!!!
Don't you love a nice free day?

I do.

Sense and Sensibility - the Tuesday Challenge

2011-11-22T08:03:00.000-04:00

Here we have three words - Sense, sensible and sensibility. I've put in the Oxford Dictionary meanings for the three for your perusal. In all honesty I haven't included everything - for instance there is a scientific meaning of sense that isn't helpful.

Sense : noun:1 a faculty by which the body perceives an external stimulus; one of the faculties of sight, smell, hearing, taste, and touch:the bear has a keen sense of smell which enables it to hunt at dusk2 a feeling that something is the case:she had the sense of being a political outsider3 [mass noun] a sane and realistic attitude to situations and problems:he earned respect by the good sense he showed at meetings4 a way in which an expression or a situation can be interpreted; a meaning:it is not clear which sense of the word ‘characters’ is intended in this passageverb1 perceive by a sense or senses:with the first frost, they could sense a change in the daysbe aware of (something) without being able to define exactly how one knows:she could sense her father’s anger risinghe could sense that he wasn’t likedSENSIBLE - adjective
1 done or chosen in accordance with wisdom or prudence; likely to be of benefit:I cannot believe that it is sensible to spend so much2 (of an object) practical and functional rather than decorative:Mum always made me have sensible shoes
Origin:
late Middle English (also in the sense ‘perceptible by the senses’): from Old French, or from Latin sensibilis, from sensus (see sense)
Sensibilities :noun
[mass noun]
1 the quality of being able to appreciate and respond to complex emotional or aesthetic influences; sensitivity:the study of literature leads to a growth of intelligence and sensibility(sensibilities) a quality of delicate sensitivity that makes one liable to be offended or shocked:the scale of the poverty revealed by the survey shocked people’s sensibilities

I bring these dictionary meanings in for two reasons. The first is because I love to go a-hunting in the dictionary - checking out the original meanings of words - especially common words that we might use without thinking. The second is because I want you to have a firm grasp on the root word 'sensible' for this week's challenge. Please refer to the origin of the word - which I've placed in a peachy colour intended on having you remember with Proustian delight - the feel of peach fuzz to the fingertips, the faint perfumed scent arising from the peach, the delight of that scent morphing into sweetness on the tongue and the barely perceptible sound as the peach morsel is swallowed.

Today's challenge is to take a piece of your writing in which you are having difficulty. Ignore the difficulty - you may be having a structural problem or a character who won't behave - and apply your sensibility to the scene. Go WAY overboard. Just load it up with as many sensory details as you can. Be insane with it. Don't worry - this is play and you cannot fall off the world. When you're finished you can reign it in. But for now - explode those sensory details. Revel in it. Trust me.

Here is a piece of cheese-cake for my sister, Jude! It is her birthday today and for the next month we are twins. Yay! Hope you have a swell day my deary-deary-deario!

Getting Back on the Horse of Discipline

2011-11-17T09:32:00.000-04:00

Two things threw me off my practices. A better rider than me might have kept her seat, but alas alack, I did not. One was my back attack - the fact that I was away at the time might have made it even more so but I lost my daily sitting practice. And then my trip to Ontario finished the job the back had started. It is hard to sit in places without my usual routine - my shrine and books and candles and the view from my window down through the trees to the shining glimpse of the bay. My coffee and the time I have set for it.
On top of that being set off - it is physically hard to sit with a tetchy back. But enough of the whinging and whining - I'm back sitting and will make it my discipline again to sit daily for however short or long a time.
My writing has also suffered these disturbances. Probably for different reasons, although I'm not as handy at writing away from my office as say - Elizabeth Spann Craig. I think the reason was more of this gigantic relief at hitting a deadline - the picky edit and the switch to third person - that I finished two weeks ago. I did revise on Tuesday with Gwen but I'm not back at doing it daily.
That is going to change. I'm picking up my self from the soft duff I fell onto, dusting off my dungarees and getting back on that glorious horse called Discipline.
The danger, of anyone falling off any wagon or horse or habit or discipline or virtue or resolution - is to abandon all desire to get back up again. Why should we? We will just fall off again and it is so pleasant down here on the ground. Granted it is dusty and boring, but we can't fall off the ground can we?
And I can distract myself with knitting hats and lace and so on, or watching West Wing episodes every night with my dear guy, or inviting folks for dinner so I have to clean and cook.
How do I overcome my lassitude? By telling you lovely people of course!
Now I must go out for a walk with Hoagy who gives me no end of grief if I try to get out of that good discipline...

The Tuesday Challenge - enriching the setting

2011-11-15T09:47:00.003-04:00

I have an image in my mind from my trip. When I go to visit my step-mum I attend a water exercise class in her building. I went Friday morning and, as usual, I wasn't disappointed. The pool is surrounded in windows and there are plants inside and out. There are skylights and the November light hitting the water and the lovely women of an age provoked a transcendent moment in my heart. I so wished I had brought my camera so that I could share that - the way the light lay like honey-comb hexagons, the women's arms moving through the water, the looks on their faces as they tenderly took care of their bodies - the birds gathering on small bushes outside the windows, the custodian looking through the window and counting for maximum occupation rules, the conversation that trilled from the sublime to the bizarre, the laughter, the intention. And then there was the feelings in my own body - the water was so warm and delightful, the smell was not chlorine but some salty thing they use and there were spots where, if you stood there, you would feel a draft from the air exchange.
The Challenge today is for you to find a piece in your story that needs an enrichment of setting. Perhaps you have it all in your mind but you haven't quite gotten it across yet. Or perhaps you need to feel your way as to why you might have chosen a certain setting - a diner in a small town - the way the napkin holder is flanked by the ketchup bottle and the salt and pepper; the city garage where your protagonist is hiding from a murderer - the car with the dust and the words 'wash me' on it; the story-telling tipi with the light coming in making strange shadows on the canvas. Go into it in exquisite detail -see what your memory can conjure up or if possible, go find the location once again. This is not the time to hold back - over do it, you can draw it back later. Now is the time to make that setting as rich as possible - use all of your senses. Did you know that was the proper meaning of the word 'sensible'? It was. It didn't mean dry and pragmatic and logical - it meant acting from what your senses told you.
Write fat - get it all in and make sure you use all your senses and then you can edit thin and get just the right amount of setting in. Push it for exactly the correct words to evoke the image you first had in your mind.
I don't have pictures here yet - but I will later. Gwen's here and I must write!

Here are some pictures but you can also go over to my other blog - Living the Complicated Simple Life to see many more!

a short note to say...

2011-11-14T20:05:00.000-04:00

I've been away...flew to Ontario on Thursday and couldn't access this blog. I was pretty busy with my dear dear sister and my dear dear step-mum! We were celebrating my step-mum's birthday (which is later on in possibly too wintery weather). It was a big one and her daughter and son-in-law put on the nicest 'do' at their home. I got to spend a lot of time with Stella (my step-ma) which was most excellent. And Jude the pude and I also got to hang out - why does our family have to be so far flung??? My two darling nieces came to town with their fellas and of course I have one niece (hi Kate!) who lives in London, where I was. We told stories and missed my dad and swapped recipes and got our hairs done. All excellent.
Any-whoozie, I just got home a couple of hours ago and Sweet Patootie made heavenly bacon and eggs and now I'm just going to chill.
The Tuesday Challenge and some trip photos will be here tomorrow, so check back.

Tuesday Challenge

2011-11-08T08:36:00.001-04:00

Greetings All Dear Readers!

Today is the first day of my new Challenge series - not a thing is new but the day it is presented on. This will be my 68th challenge! Here is the first one I wrote:

I challenge each and every one of to a duel! Nah, I don't. I've decided that Friday will now be Challenge Day on this blog. I will challenge my readers to do something different each week and you all can let me know how it goes (or not - you are free of course to ignore challenge day but you'll be missing out on lots of fun).
Here is today's challenge - a walking quest. Yes! Get off your duffs and walk somewhere in your neighbourhood or near where you work. This can be a short walk but you are to bring back something creative. If you are writers you can bring back an image, an overheard conversation or perhaps even the genesis for your next work. If you are fibre artists - look for something to inspire you in a way that you haven't worked before - photographers, visual artists - same thing. If you see yourself primarily as a householder or work where creativity does not flourish - use your inspiration to create a table setting, a letter to your old aunt, a fridge poem, a desk shrine, or as the seed of a prayer or contemplation. Do not restrict your inspiration to nature, there is much in the constructed world that could be inspiring. Look beyond what the things are (a sunset, a plastic bag blowing down the street, a mother's hand touching the hair of her child) to what you see without laying those ideas on them ( a splash of red orange, a dancing form, the texture of lines intersecting). Above all - allow yourself to be surprised by the moment.
I look forward to your responses...

That is how I began on Feb.5, 2010 - a year and nine months ago...

Here is today's Tuesday Challenge -

This one is taken from Joseph Sestito's wonderful book Write for Your Lives - it is about recovering the process of writing - the why, in our bodies, of writing. Before your next writing session I want you to sit quietly and imagine something that you do in which you experience flow. Something in which your mind and body are so synchronized that you are able to turn off the inner judge and just experience the joy of the doing. Maybe it is skiing or riding a horse. Perhaps it is when you knit or walk your dog. Close your eyes and vividly imagine you are doing whatever it is you do to get into this state. Bring your mind to every sense - what are you smelling, hearing, tasting, touching, seeing? Make it as vivid as you can and realize that this is something, as a writer, that you are probably pretty good at - imagining a state of mind! As soon as you have really got that feeling in your cells, open your eyes and begin writing. If you find yourself getting all tight again, close your eyes and go back to that state. Your nervous system will thank you and so will your writing!

I achieve flow when taking photos. So that's where I'll be going...
Tell me how it goes and what helps you keep in the best state for writing.

Monday and I'm feeling spunky like a monkey...

2011-11-07T08:57:00.000-04:00

Yep - feel like I just came out of a cloud. A cloud of pretending I didn't have lots to do and little time to do it in. I'm going through paperwork and making socks and thinking about my next changes. Been doing some more research for my novel. Can you believe it? I have lots in there about Canadian Aboriginal beliefs etc... and I need to pay attention to it. As is everything in the early drafts (say the first fifteen) I am telling myself the story and I just throw things in to keep the places. Now I have to get serious - which of these things do I need to either expand on, clarify or toss?
Sort of like the paperwork I'm doing. Looking at each tiny receipt and going - yay, nay or huh? For those of you who are mothers you might think of this stage as when you do a mammoth clean of a kid's room and you are now down to the lego, tiny cars, elastic bands, grommets, and mysterious bits of metal (boys) or the itty-bitty barrettes, thousands of pieces of paper with drawings on them, crayon fragments and bits of mysterious plastic (girls). One simply has to touch each piece and make a decision. And absolutely no-one is going to come and save the day and do it for you. They can't. You have to. YIKES!
So, I'm going to walk Hoagy because he hasn't been out yet for a pee and the chickens made a prison break this morning - Ron had to let them out of the pen (their fenced in bit of yard) early because several of them had gone over the fence. Yep - jail break! We usually let them out later in the day because we are hoping they'll lay some damn eggs and so we can put Hoagy on his lead in the back. No biggy - I was going to take him for a stroll anywho. So walk the beast, look at bits of paper and then head for work in town. All the while considering the overhaul of the plot.
Don't forget that tomorrow will be the first ~~Friday~~ Tuesday Challenge! I'll try and come up with a doozy for you.

Black Bart and Bella forage for goodies

The Friday Challenge is Moving!

2011-11-04T09:18:00.000-03:00

Yes - after giving it much thought, I feel the Friday Challenge needs to move to another day. But when you all ask hungrily? Uh....I have decided Tuesday as Tuesday is my writing day with Gwen. I thought of being scientific about it and seeing when most people went ablogging but no... Now I have to decide what to call the Friday Challenge - I think I'll still label it that so people can find them all together when they go looking...but....why make this difficult - it will be the Tuesday Challenge. Jeesh.

so for you folks who did show up - here is the last Friday Challenge on Friday:

I'm gonna sit right down and write myself a letterAnd make believe it came from you
I'm gonna write words oh so sweetThey're gonna knock me off my feetA lotta kisses on the bottomI'll be glad I got 'em
I'm gonna smile and say "I hope you're feeling better"And close with love the way you doI'm gonna sit (right) down and write myself a letter(and make believe it came, though I know it's not the same)And (I'll) make believe (that) it came from you
Yes - that is what I want you all to do. I want you to write yourself a letter. In it, I want you to tell yourself why you have chosen the life of a writer and what you want to accomplish with your work. What stories you have in you to share and how you hope your words will lift others up, or amuse them, or shock them, or whatever your dreams for your work are. I want you to write words 'oh so sweet' they'll knock you off your feet. Sign it 'my wiser knowing self' and put it in an envelope and with your name on the front. Put it on your desk or pin it to a bulletin board near where you work and whenever you get low and down - pull it out and let your words knock you off your feet. For where are you when you're knocked off your feet? Why, you're on the sweet good earth - a great place to be.
Knock em dead and see you on Tuesday for the first of the Tuesday Challenges.

Insecure Writers' Day - where we get to celebrate our nervous nelly ways!

2011-11-02T09:10:00.000-03:00

Greetings All - Today is Insecure Writers' Day - the first Wednesday of every month - and it is a trial for me this time. Why? You all ask in loud voices. Because I said so. No, that's wrong. Because I finished a HUGE ASS edit yesterday and I'm not feeling all that insecure. Oh, I'm sure something will rise up and slap me down any minute now - but RIGHT NOW I feel good. Nonetheless, I'll keep writing and find my insecurity to parade before y'all.

Revising is fraught with insecurity. If you are like me, and for the sake of my ease I'm going to pretend you are all identical, then you write your first draft as if no one was ever going to read it - including yourself. It is a glorious woolly mess of a thing - with dangling story lines, characters that are tall and manly in one chapter and short and nervous in the next, and lots of shiny metaphors that have nothing to do with anything. So - revising can be a painful exercise of saying to oneself, over and over again, 'what was I thinking?' and 'I must be a complete moron' and 'who wrote this shite?' and so on...

Hopefully within that process, the woolly mess becomes a decent fitted garment with sleeves that match and a real collar - not just a cheap-way out boat neck. No! That's knitting. Sorry. Hopefully your woolly mess will become a coherent story with tension and structure, excellent dialogue and an ending! That would be great.
I think I got there yesterday. Oh, I have lots to still fret over. Just because I pared it down and got rid of all the tangential story lines doesn't mean it is riveting prose just yet. But I feel like I'm getting close. Just a few more weeks and maybe it will be ready to face the world.

Here's where I can find my insecurity - dough-land, moolah, the buck stops here, the bottom line, living in the red - you get the picture. Why I start sounding like Sam Spade when I talk economics I don't know - but there ya go. I get insecure because I spend a lot of time that I could be hustling up clients and charging them for my services - writing. And so far that writing has brought me in exactly nothing in the form of currency. Hold on! Not true! In university (not so long ago in my case as I'm living my life backwards) I won two poetry prizes and made about $300 overall. Not bad. And in my other writing - for govt. and so forth - I sometimes make ridiculous amounts of money. But no - doesn't count as we are going down the tubes NOW and I'm definitely fiddling while Rome burns.

There! You happy now! I found my insecure spot. Now I'm going to work. At my real work. Where I do something that people give me money for. Bye now.
I'm going to hop over to Alex's and see how the rest of the Insecure Writers are doing. Why don't you hop over there with me? Or not. Maybe you don't want to hang out with me cuz I'm a loser but I was just asking. Never mind. See you around. Maybe. Or not. Whatever.

I did it! I did it!

2011-11-01T18:11:00.000-03:00

What? You may well ask. I finished the edits I was working on - every bit of True has the edits suggested by my editor and has been put into third person. I did the last four chapters today. Not the last four chapters of the book - but the last ones to be touched. The tricksy pow-wow chapters. And I used my method from the Friday Challenge of a slow inquiry and gentle movement until I got them the way I wanted. I was really tempted to bull-doze but I didn't need to. I just needed to pare it down to the essential bits and I did.
So, now what? I have some largish fixes to make. I want to get rid of one of the too-many sisters of my protagonist. She may live yet but I think I can get rid of her fairly tidily now. I have already started changing another line that runs through the book involving Libby (the protag) and the man who gets her pregnant. I had it too nicey nice and I've started the work with that. And I know there's more but I will be able to do it now that I've cleaned it up as much as I have and made the pov change (though it isn't really a pov change - it is still Libby all the way -but in third not first).
Wow.
I'm going to go eat some chips and drink some wine and put my feet up. I am psyched and empty and full.
And only one day behind my schedule. Holy macaroni.

Dear Journal - navigating the complicated opportunities of the internet

2011-10-31T09:48:00.000-03:00

Dear Journal,
Today is the last day of the NaBlo challenge and I have kept my promise to you. I have posted every day in October. It hasn't been a hardship - unlike those gearing up for the much more rigorous NaNo, beginning tonight at midnight - I've been able to cheerfully attend to my duty. And it has been helpful. To me I mean, but hopefully to others as well. To write daily about my revision progress (or sad lack of) has kept me inspired and interested in this very intense practice.
I think I might continue to do this, but not on a daily basis. One thing I've been considering is the moving of my Friday Challenge. I like working on Friday's, makes me feel like I've earned my week-ends, but others in this world seem a bit more loosey-goosey about it. By that I mean - they don't get around to the blogs so much on Fridays. Many of the blogs feature light material on Fridays - top tens, sillies, etc... I want my Friday Challenges read. They are my most relevant posts for people struggling or rejoicing in the writers' life. So I may move them to another day - I will let you know, journal, and also you readers!
As to getting around myself in the challenge - I did initially but then I stalled, as did many others I believe. For me it has become more and more important on THIS blog to pay attention to the community of writers. I am interested when I'm wearing my Living the Complicated Simple Life hat (it is straw of course) in bloggers who write about canning, knitting, chickens, photography and other assorted things, but on this one - I want to know what people are doing to drive their writing forward. And so most of the various challenges don't address that in a way that is satisfying to me. Some do! Alex's Insecure Writers is one - and I will be posting this Wednesday with great excitement - checking out the posts of other insecure types and generally having fun.
How about you all? How do you sort through the myriad of opportunities on the web to find which ones suit your needs?

Odds & Sods - For those of you Burrower fans - I'm over there today talking about what I'm reading and its relevance to Hallow's Eve. Come on over and dive into that conversation. And for those of you who want to see what I'm up to with my contemplative photography - head over to Living the Complicated Simple Life.

It rains...

2011-10-30T10:30:00.000-03:00

My NaBlo posts are in the form of letters to my journal about my revision process. Along the way, I'll include Home-Made Revision Workshop posts, and my Friday Challenges.

Dear Journal,
It is raining raining raining raining. The wind is whipping the last of the leaves from the branches. The chickens are staring balefully from their hatch-door, the dog lies sleeping - dreaming of his youth.
Today I am going to look into my sacroiliac - no I'm not - I'm going to look into the nature and design of the sacroiliac to see if I can find ways to work with tiny triangle of intense pain. I want to understand its hinge qualities and how it works with the balance of the back-bone. I want to delve into the beautiful symmetry of the human body and appreciate how I'm constructed and how I can support that structure.

As well, I plan on following my own Friday Challenge when it comes to the pow-wow chapters and see if I can gently redirect my story, or bring it into line with the rhythm I'd begun.

Oh and finish the tunic I've been knitting for three days.

I have people to call who will still be sleeping in other time-zones and a few fences to mend.

Hope you're having a good Sunday - a day to catch-up, redeem yourself physically, creatively or just to put some worrying tasks to bed.

The rain doesn't seem to care.

Dear Journal, time for a Home-Made Revision Workshop post!

2011-10-29T10:29:00.000-03:00

My NaBlo posts are in the form of letters to my journal about my revision process. Along the way, I'll include Home-Made Revision Workshop posts, and my Friday Challenges.

Dear Journal,
I think it is time for another Home-Made Revision Workshop post! This has been the lost week for me, but I'm feeling pretty good - so I'll dip into my main resource - The Artful Edit - by Susan Bell - and see what happens. I think I'll just go serendipity wise - every bit of it is jammed to the gunnels -

(The outer edge of the deck where it meets the gunwale (pronounced "gunnel") at the top of the topside. The rail sometimes is raised to stop waves and provide a toerail. this expression means as full of a boat full of fish could be! )

with pithy instruction - so we'll just let the fates direct us on this cool lovely October day. I'm going to a random number program - be back in a jiffy.

The earliest technical usage for jiffy was defined by Gilbert Newton Lewis (1875–1946). He proposed a unit of time called the "jiffy" which was equal to the time it takes light to travel one centimetre (approximately 33.3564 picoseconds).^[2] It has since been redefined for different measurements depending on the field of study.^[3]

Who knew that's what 'jiffy' meant? I just thought it was an expression of the fifties invented by suburban mothers. Well I did!

I went here - http://www.random.org/ and put in the range and got the number 192. Now I'm opening the book - the suspense is unbelievable, isn't it?!

The topic on 192 starts on 191 and it is about editors as censors and usurpers. this is in a chapter on the history of editing which is bloody fascinating and which everyone should read. On page 192, Bell discusses how Emily Dickinson ran into an editor's squeamishness. Bell says:

Her poem "I taste a liquor never brewed" was first printed in 1861 in the Springfield Daily Republican. In that paper, the first stanza read:
I taste a liquor never brewed,
From tankards scooped in pearl;
Not Frankfort berries yield the sense
Such a delirious whirl.

Bell goes on to tell us that the poem wasn't written that way. Her stanza more brazen and forthright. Here it is:

I taste a liquor never brewed---
From Tankards scooped in Pearl ---
Not all the Frankfort Berries
Yield such an Alcohol!

The editor turned to common punctuation instead of Dickinson's wonderful dashes (sorry Blogger won't let me), added some words, a rhyme (pearl/whirl) and made it all too ladylike.
Dickinson's response? "...how one can publish and at the same time preserve the integrity of one's art?"

After a bit more discussion involving Hemingway and his editor Max Perkins, Bell states "It is bad enough for an editor to prune provocative phrases or ideas from a writer's work out of fear they will offend; when writers do this to themselves, one might wonder why they write at all."

And that is the pith that I want to run with in today's revision workshop. How do we stop ourselves from our own censoring while revising. It is the edge of the sword blade - on one side the fear of being overly precious with our writing and on the other, our desire to be liked and accepted getting in the way of our truth.

I can't tell you the freedom I've felt, co-existing with great sorrow, at my father not being able to read my writing any more. I know that sounds harsh, but he was such a huge influence and some of it not so good - I never wanted to fret him, and frankly, some of my real honest to the bone writing would fret him. I find myself elevating others into that inner censor and I must work hard to rout them out and write what is true for me. I'm not talking about revealing family secrets or anything like that - just that my style might be offensive to a dad raised in a different time. And I fully own that it might not even be remotely true - as I'm sure he censored his tastes from his children as much as we to him. It is that inner Dad I must deal with and it is somewhat easier now that I know he can't read over my shoulder. (and if he can, I don't want to know about it!)

So, for those of you in the revision process - have a look at what you hold back on and why. I'm not asking you to change from a style that suits you to one that doesn't because it is edgier etc... I'm merely asking you, within the context of the work itself, are there things you are self-censoring? I will be asking myself that over the next while.

Later lovelies! Only two more posts in this series - it has been good for me, hope it has for you.

And here is a photo from my contemplative practice - this week's assignment - texture.

Friday Challenge - letting your writing lead

2011-10-28T09:21:00.003-03:00

My NaBlo posts are in the form of letters to my journal about my revision process. Along the way, I'll include Home-Made Revision Workshop posts, and my Friday Challenges.

Dear Journal,
I've been thinking about something the past few days. Oh yes, I've had plenty o'thinking time. I did revise one chapter yesterday - have three to go - and I was not happy. It is the old pow-wow chapters again. They were muddy right from the beginning - I've struggled and struggled and you know what? Struggling is a bad sign. Sure, we're all going to have bogged down bits, but if they continue to be problematic then there is a point when one has to stop spinning one's wheels and have a good ~~HARD~~ gentle look. So that's what I'm going to do today. I know that things happen in the pow-wow chapters that have to happen but maybe they don't have to happen there. Or in the same way.
How I approach this is going to be the meat of the Friday Challenge. I'm not going to go into my manuscript all savage and destructive - ripping and tearing (cutting and dumping). I'm going to believe that my writing has some intelligence and that if I go in very gently and listen to it - look at the shape of it when it is on track and see what it tells me about the story. The thing is - the chapters I like have a certain rhythm and the ones I don't like - well, they don't have that rhythm - they are sharper, harder, more expository than I'd like. The chapters I like are somewhat slow, they gather slowly like rain clouds - they don't storm across the sky. The other ones are staccato, quick and shiny. I'm not sure I'm capturing this but that will be the exercise.
For the Friday Challenge - find a piece of writing that isn't going the way you'd like, that you are struggling with, and instead of bulldozing it - see what it has to tell you. Go gently here and there, asking it if it needs a different location (either in the world of your book or in the novel), another character, or less hurly burly, or more hurly burly. I'm going to think that this obstacle-laden struggling part of my book is like my back right now - telling me to slow down and listen to it - not medicate it but to see where it is functioning best.
While you do this, keep asking your writing what it needs to be true. Allow yourself to be surprised by what it might tell you.

And I'll see you tomorrow. (photo taken in Cape Breton near the ferry at St. Anne's)

How our stories shape us and how we shape our stories

2011-10-27T08:47:00.004-03:00

My NaBlo posts are in the form of letters to my journal about my revision process. Along the way, I'll include Home-Made Revision Workshop posts, and my Friday Challenges.

Dear Journal,
I just realized that this is the anniversary of my second marriage. A marriage that is, in fact, still ongoing - well, only in legal terms. I haven't seen the guy for thirty years. We got married on October 27, 1979 - in Zeballos, British Columbia. It was raining and the loggers (of which he was one) were on strike. It was always raining - somewhat like Ken Kesey's book 'Sometimes A Great Notion' and the town inhabitants were often on strike or in a wobble (a one dayish strike). It was the wild west, isolated, populated with eccentrics trying to make their fortunes before their bodies broke down, or the police came to get them. Like that.

The husband and I had met in Ottawa a number of years earlier and we'd taken up together, as was the style. He'd followed me out to the east coast and then I'd followed him (with two kids and a dog) to the west. The town was excited about the marriage. People usually didn't get married in Zeballos. They usually got married 'down island' or back in Ontario or wherever they were from, but my intended's family lived on the Sunshine Coast, and mine were from Ontario, and besides - mine weren't coming, as I'd already had one marriage in the decade and they wanted to see if it was going to last. My sister came, and close friends - all of whom ended up staying and hooking up with various brothers and cousins and buds of the original guy. Like I said, it was that sort of time and place.

I didn't mean to write about this. I meant to write about my sudden urgency to get back at it - back at my revision. I've been dipping into Susan Bell's The Artful Edit, and, as always, it has me fired up. But - I think there is a reason that I noticed the date and what it meant. True, the novel I'm revising, was inspired by something that happened to my estranged husband. Not to go into the details, which would be unkind of me, he got involved in an accident which led to him suffering a stroke , which was, in turn, followed by cognition problems. His story is much wilder than the one in my book - no one would believe it true but it is - and that doesn't matter so much for this post. What matters is that I asked myself in 1992 - when it happened - what if? What if I were still living with someone who wasn't quite themselves anymore? What would be the true and good thing to do? What if a marriage develops a crack in it that isn't because of drifting intentions or bad choices, but because of an externally constructed accident? That question led - these twenty years later - to the book I'm writing. It is about a marriage and what family means. I think I'll get back at it, while I remember its genesis.

I'm the one in the hat and pinkish sweatshirt and I'll let the women be anonymous.......not sure who the dude is.......Libby, my lovely dog. in front of the General Store in Zeballos

Dear Journal - a look into the dark side

2011-10-26T06:00:00.002-03:00

My NaBlo posts are in the form of letters to my journal about my revision process. Along the way, I'll include Home-Made Revision Workshop posts, and my Friday Challenges.

for pictures of our trip please go to my non-writing site - Living the Complicated Simple Life

Dear Journal,
Well, I'm truly drugged up to the gills but it will just be for a short time until this stops reacting to whatever it is reacting to (my back to the rest of me I mean).
I'm not writing, revising, or doing much of anything that requires much concentration. I won't take any drugs tonight (Tuesday) so that tomorrow (today!) I will be clear and bright for my clients. I'm seeing a few. Then just one or two the rest of the week.
So...when we go there - to the dark side - what do we find? Sometimes I'm aware, in my writing, that it is an effort not to make everything turn out hunky dory for my protagonist. Even if I throw crap loads of meanness her way, I try to even out her karma-odds and make it all more up than down. I'm working with this - I think it comes out of my work as a psychotherapist. But even there, it isn't MY duty to make everyone cheer the heck up. I'm just to point out the options, find out what the person is after, and counsel them or have them analyse how they might do things differently.
Over the years, I have made a big effort not to translate their pain into 'learnings' and I'm sure glad I don't. Because, quite frankly, I don't much care what I've 'learned' over the past year. True dat. Maybe I will, in the golden glow of years down the line, but right now, all I know is that I'm still kicking, still wanting to get up at least one more time than I fall down, and still wanting to know how this translates to art - if it does!
I'll be back in the saddle by the weekend. In some way.
Later lovely dudes and dudettes.

Here's a gratuitous photo.

Oh Blah Dih, Oh Blah Dah

2011-10-25T06:00:00.001-03:00

My NaBlo posts are in the form of letters to my journal about my revision process. Along the way, I'll include Home-Made Revision Workshop posts, and my Friday Challenges.

for pictures of our trip please go to my non-writing site - Living the Complicated Simple Life

Dear Journal,
Yesterday was a spaced out day. Still under the influence of heavy duty pain killers so didn't accomplish much. Unpacked my bag, assembled an easy dinner from the leftovers of the Sunday meal that the lovely guy made, read a little and that's it. This morning I go to see my doctor and acupuncturist. The pain is still pretty wild but I'm hopeful it is on the wane.

I'll try and tackle some of my revision this afternoon but am promising nothing! Not even to myself.Gwen isn't coming as I'm not here this morning.
Do check out the pictures above - I have lots more. On the ride home we went through one amazing cloudscape after another and between the step-dot and I took a fair amount of photos. I was glad so many of them turned out, as I wondered if they weren't just enhanced by my meds!

later lovely journal, dear readers...

Here's one to rest your eyes on.

Dear Journal - down for the count

2011-10-24T08:57:00.001-03:00

My NaBlo posts are in the form of letters to my journal about my revision process. Along the way, I'll include Home-Made Revision Workshop posts, and my Friday Challenges.

for pictures of our trip please go to my non-writing site - Living the Complicated Simple Life

Dear Journal,
The weekend was an absolute mix of heaven and hell - nirvana and samsara - bleak and beautiful. My beloved step-dot shone in her first mystery weekend. She outdid everyone's expectations and was not only a wondrous actress, but more importantly when spending time in tight quarters with crazy middle to old aged types - a true fun presence. The plot went well, Keltic was gorgeous as usual.
But moi? I drove halfway there on Thursday to stay overnight with Linder in Merigomish, with step-dot and K. in car. I already had a bad back, the rain was fierce and so it was tense driving. My back went out in a way it never has before. Slept badly at Linder's though the food and conversation was, as always, brilliant fun. Linder drove the next day as I was too gimped. I got through the Friday night scenes by staying somewhat still and by having K. tell the crowd that my sore leg WASN"T a clue.
I couldn't sleep at all Friday night - the pain was unrelenting. K. called an ambulance at 5:30 AM. They got there in ten minutes and took me to the nearest hospital. There I met a lovely doctor who gave me a shot and some pills. Apparently my sacroiliac is on fire. Got back to the hotel in time for rehearsal before breakfast but I was written out of scenes and spent most of the day on the couch drifting in and out of sleep watching weird television shows. Mostly cooking I think. I went to the dinner and the dance feeling much better and managed to do what I had to - then back to the couch (I had to sleep sitting up somewhat so the bed was out and too disturbing for K.) Then L drove us all back to Merigomish and K. drove me back home and her husband came and got her (my car). Everyone was dear as anything. But this report is it. I'll try and write something tomorrow but now, it is back to bed and trying to get into see my acupuncturist etc...
What did I learn? Remember dear journal, a writer can use any experience. I learned that there are doctors in tiny away places who are skilled, kind and blessedly still there. I learned that like those people I've read about, if I'm eaten by a bear, I will not pass out, how ever much I want to.
Bye now.
jan

Dear Journal, I still like you, I do!

2011-10-23T06:00:00.001-03:00

My NaBlo posts are in the form of letters to my journal about my revision process. Along the way, I'll include Home-Made Revision Workshop posts, and my Friday Challenges.

Dear Journal,

As you read this, I'll be wending home from the Keltic, tired and happy. It is about a seven hour drive so when I get home, I'll be ready for bed, not more writing. But I'll attack my revision with new vigour and verve and other v words I'm sure.
Hold tight! I still adore you. I'm not mad that you are constantly reminding me of my pledge to get this revision done. I know there will only be 8 more days of revising to finish this before the month does. I might not you know. Finish it. Oh, I'll have the point of view changed and a good part of the edits done but finished. I just don't know.

See you soon. I'll bring you a present.

nablowing me down!

2011-10-22T06:00:00.000-03:00

My NaBlo posts are in the form of letters to my journal about my revision process. Along the way, I'll include Home-Made Revision Workshop posts, and my Friday Challenges.

Dear Journal,
I know, I know, what's the point of writing in here if I'm not actually revising. But journal, every once in awhile I have to do these all encompassing other things. Right now for instance, I'm not writing this. It is Saturday morning and I am in the dining room of the resort in Cape Breton and I'm in the middle of a big scene with a bunch of people. It will be both fun ( the view from the dining room is ocean in four directions and I'm not kidding) and funny (I'm Ninette Beazley, my pal,Edna Peach will be tap-dancing drunk and well that's just a bit) and still, work! For which I get paid.
I can tell you that I had a great meeting with my editor the other day and the changes are being made. Characters are getting the axe, focus is being pulled, language pared, weeded, exfoliated, trimmed and yes, topiaryized.
See you soon!
Jan
Here's some postcards I made last year at the Keltic Lodge!

Dear Journal - a Friday Challenge

2011-10-21T06:00:00.001-03:00

My NaBlo posts are in the form of letters to my journal about my revision process. Along the way, I'll include Home-Made Revision Workshop posts, and my Friday Challenges.

Dear Journal,
A straight-forward challenge for today. Find a project that you keep telling yourself, and probably others, that you want to finish. Figure out what is REALLY holding you back. Make a decision - that you will complete it - or you'll drop it with relief. If you decide you are going to finish it - draw up a plan to do so. You are allowed to change it as you go, but start with a plan of attack. Here's mine:

I want to write a book about how women coped in the depression with putting food on the table, raising families, doing laundry, maintaining gardens, or just plain surviving. I have done some research on my paternal grandmother and I have enlisted five other people to research their grandmothers but it is going slow. I'm going to put the word out one more time and then decide if I need their help or can do it another way.

OKEY DOKEY - see you later... this is a picture of my great-great grandparents - the baby - that's my grandpa and it is his wife who I want to write about! Oh, and that house is a soddy I think. Manitoba!

Dear Journal - cross-training

2011-10-20T06:00:00.002-03:00

My NaBlo posts are in the form of letters to my journal about my revision process. Along the way, I'll include Home-Made Revision Workshop posts, and my Friday Challenges.

Dear Journal,
Do you believe in cross-training? I do. Firmly. I know when I was training to do the Dublin Marathon, I had just started dating the dear guy, and he would take me paddling in the canoe. It was good for my concentration, for my upper body strength, and my stick-to-it-ness.
A few years ago I took up oil painting for a couple of years - took lessons, painted. It was heaven. I'd done it when I was younger but not in a concentrated way. I found I learned many helpful techniques that translated to writing. For instance I learned that you had to work on all parts of the canvas at once, if you wanted a balanced painting. That is helpful in revision work - if I don't watch it I'll get one piece (the beginning??!) pitch perfect. Trouble is, it won't be like anything else I'm doing.
Now I'm doing contemplative photography. That is a practice I trained in about 12 years ago and did the practice fairly regularly for a number of years. I still consider myself a Miksang photographer (that's one term for it) but my practice had gotten sloppy. How is it good for my writing practice. One thing for sure - it is about recognizing a perception and forming the equivalent. That is what I'm doing with my novels. I have something I'm trying to get across - I have to continue to remember what it is and then take away anything that isn't it!
I guess, when I get right down to it, everything I do is training for something else I do - or adds to it. My gardening and chicken raising, my relationship to my dog, cooking, baking, knitting, my work with clients, my sitting practice, my dear guy, all of it - is for all of it.
Well, in that vein, dear journal, I will not be revising for four days. I'll be having a murderous good time up in Cape Breton at the Keltic Lodge. But while I'm there, I'll be scouting out locations for my mysteries. Kitty MacDonald would love to head up there to solve a case, I'm sure!
I'll be pre-posting these letters and I'll report when I get home.

a painting of a friend enjoying the sun on the boat roof, yep with a stubby....

How can a girl be in three places at once? Watch me!

2011-10-19T08:12:00.000-03:00

My NaBlo posts are in the form of letters to my journal about my revision process. Along the way, I'll include Home-Made Revision Workshop posts, and my Friday Challenges.

Dear Journal,
Today is a very special day. The protagonist from my two mysteries (The Rock Walker and Earth Bound) Kitty MacDonald, is Under the Tiki Hut , Carol Kilgore's wonderful blog. She is sitting on the beach discussing her life as a RCMP officer assigned to some very interesting places in Nova Scotia. Please go over there and if you don't know Carol, you should! I'm jealous Kitty gets to go and I, well, I have to slog on here at home. Ah well. I'll be back and forth as I can, to answer emails - although it is a BIG WORKING DAY FOR ME!

As well, I have a presence today over at Burrowers, Books & Balderdash, where I'll be discussing weeding and writing. No, not reading and writing - weeding and writing. Come on over and check out what I have to say.

So, not too much more to say here today but check out my creations on these two great spots!
I'm off to Keltic Lodge, Cape Breton, for a Halloween Murder Mystery with my company, Catchword Productions. I'll post ahead so as not to miss one day of NaBlow Me Down and Tie Me Up Festival Extravaganza Event. When I get back, I'll report on the weekend and how it might relate to my revision process - remember 'nothing is wasted on the writer' - that's a Fishism only I'm not Fish, I'm Jan or La Banan so it is a Bananism. All credit to the wonderful Ally McBeal show!

fishism
	a) Meaningless intellectual jabberish produced by white males (in their thirties). b) words of wisdom by Richard Fish (character in Ally McBeal tv-series) Richard Fish: You're not who you are, you're only what other people think you are. Fishism. Richard Fish: Make enough money, and everything else will follow. Quote me

at 1:09 AM I write this

2011-10-18T02:10:00.001-03:00

My NaBlo posts are in the form of letters to my journal about my revision process. Along the way, I'll include Home-Made Revision Workshop posts, and my Friday Challenges.

Dear Journal,
I'm writing this at 1:09 AM. I'm usually asleep by now, but due to emotional shit storm, am unable to sleep. It doesn't happen very often, but when it does it is fierce. I was just out on the back deck looking at the stars and listening to faint meowish noises that I think are raccoons.
I decided that since I can't sleep I might as well write to you.
I'm wondering if it is possible for me to take this emotional pain and transform it by using it in my novel. As a meditater. I know that I can and should bring everything to the cushion. To not deny any emotion or perception I have but to transform it into the path of bodhi, is a basic instruction.
The content of my anguish isn't of importance. I'm not going to air it here and I know that the content or the story that I tell myself about the content isn't the thing. The thing is that I know in a day or two I'll feel some relief from it. I know that every emotion, no matter how debilitating, has a beginning, a middle and an end. If it were elation I was feeling it would be the same thing - though probably I could sleep!
So if the content, the so-called facts, about my mental state isn't the thing - what is? Is it that I recognize that all over the world people are agonizing over lesser or greater situations? Or that by transforming these feelings as accurately as I can, to the page and to a different set of circumstances, I can portray an individual's pain in such a way that readers will recognize the truth of the portrayal and have some relief with their own particular sleepless nights? Or if not relief just pure understanding that we are all one - in our joy, our pain, our numbness?
The essence of pain, of suffering, is difficult to capture, to recreate, even to remember. I'm not sure if I can even think of it when I'm midstream. It is more a howl than words. Howl is what Allen Ginsberg called his most known work. Not to be too beat, too existential, but that sums it up for me right now. Howling off the back deck in the half moon to unknown beasts lurking in the trees.

a bit of Howl:

who wept at the romance of the streets with their pushcarts full of onions and bad music,
who sat in boxes breathing in the darkness under the bridge, and rose up to build harpsichords in their lofts, who coughed on the sixth floor of Harlem crowned with flame under the tubercular sky surrounded by orange crates of theology,
who scribbled all night rocking and rolling over lofty incantations which in the yellow morning were stanzas of gibberish,

Home-Made Revision Workshop - Clarity - pitfalls and peaks

2011-10-17T10:13:00.000-03:00

My NaBlo posts are in the form of letters to my journal about my revision process. Along the way, I'll include Home-Made Revision Workshop posts, and my Friday Challenges.

Dear Journal,
It is a Monday and you know what that means? You don't? Me neither, except I always have the faintest whiff of 'new day, clean notebook' on a Monday. After all, it is when we start diets, new jobs, the school week and so forth. I realized, after reading my little sticky note at the top of all my NaBlo posts, that I intended to continue the Home-Made Revision Workshop series. It is kind of hard to tell, since all these letters to you, dear journal, are about my revision process, but the idea was to go to other sources - especially the amazing book, The Artful Edit, by Susan Bell. So here goes.

Today's workshop topic is clarity. We all, as writers, know how important clarity is, but many of us have a stunningly different idea of what it means. Here is what the Oxford Dictionary has to say:

the quality of being clear, in particular:.
the quality of being coherent and intelligible:for the sake of clarity, each of these strategies is dealt with separately
the quality of being easy to see or hear; sharpness of image or sound:the clarity of the picture
the quality of being certain or definite:it was clarity of purpose that he needed
the quality of transparency or purity:the crystal clarity of water

Origin:
Middle English (in the sense ‘glory, divine splendour’): from Latin claritas, from clarus'clear'. The current sense dates from the early 17th century

Is that clear? I do like that its origin was 'glory, divine splendour' and isn't that just so? If you use words that are fresh, metaphors that aren't tired, and people understand what it is you mean - how glorious is that?

Here is what Susan Bell quotes on Clarity from Somerset Maugham "[A cause] of obscurity is that the writer is himself not quite sure of his meaning. He has a vague impression of what he wants to say, but has not...exactly formulated it in his mind, and it is natural enough that he should not find a precise expression for a confused idea."

In other words - if you don't the hell know what you mean do not expect others to, and if they don't, call them dunderheads! (that is a Jan Morrisonism)

I know where my prose is lacking clarity because I get overwhelmingly sleepy when I read it. And it isn't the sleepiness of being bored, although I imagine that is in there, it is the sleepiness that comes from trying to wrestle out a meaning that hasn't been articulated or understood by the originator - even if I'm the originator! It happens to me in therapy sessions too, and when it does, I know the client is spinning themselves a story, so I take it as my cue to stop them and ask them to make their point more clear.

Revision is where we sweep away anything that doesn't enrich our story. We make our points clear because we've removed the debris or furbelows and lacy bits surrounding those points. If we do clear the non-essentials away and we are still baffled - back to the drawing board.

I started a contemplative photography course last night. I've taken it before, taught by a teacher of this teacher, but I've drifted and want to be brought back to the practice. This is a good way to do it. It is also helpful as cross-training for my writing practice. In contemplative photography - you have the initial flash of perception and you try to form the equivalent. Part of that is to recognize what caught your eye - where the perception begins and ends. That is what we are doing when we are clearing for clarity. If I am walking in the woods and a flash of colour grabs me, my next thought might mess it up - oh, if this leaf is good, so must the green bits around it be, and that weird shaped stick, and so on. I think I do this in my writing. I want to relate my perception on a woman who is being made to understand the real meaning of connection by her crazy circumstances. Along the way, two bachelor recluses show up, and I am entranced by them (and my clever birthing of them!). I need them in the story but I don't need them to be a big deal. I need to cut away all the cleverness and just show how they are part of what woke my protagonist up to the various meanings of family.

Two things are happening when I do this - one is to rid the writing of superfluity, the other is to expand the parts that are essential. Shrink and expand - over and over again - like the diastole/systole of our heart's contractions.

One of the biggest traps for writers on the road to clarity, is the desire to be subtle. We want to be thought of as very clever and that means we sometimes obscure our meanings even from ourselves. I will say no more on this. Just hunt the obscure down and make it clear. You will get when you've gone simple and when you've gone ornate - keep to the middle path.

OK, dear journal, now I must get into my car and go meet with my editor. I am going to discuss some of the paths I wish to take my manuscript down. I find it is very helpful to say these things out loud - to you - to her and to my writing and non-writing pals. Feedback is essential.

Today's picture is clear. I am revising my pow wow chapters and so thought this might be helpful!

Dear Journal - am I deluding myself?

2011-10-16T10:56:00.000-03:00

My NaBlo posts are in the form of letters to my journal about my revision process. Along the way, I'll include Home-Made Revision Workshop posts, and my Friday Challenges.

Dear Journal,

I know this isn't the first Wednesday of the month, therefore Insecure Writer posting day, but...
I just feel sort of, kind of, somewhat, dodgy about my writing practice right now. This morning - today. Maybe it is because I spent the evening with my fella at a fete for a dear friend. Everyone there was talking about their trips to Europe and Australia and their renovations and their kids in private school and I got...feeling bad. And in case you're wondering, no one was bragging or being fat-headed about any of this. They were simply reporting on their lives in an ordinary way as many of us hadn't seen each other in awhile.
And they were interested in what I'd been up to, and were thrilled to hear how focussed I've been on my writing. None of them asked me if my fella and I had any trips planned (nope) or how our kids were making out in stooopid old regular school. I like my step-dot's school. It is good for the most part, and I don't think I'd send her to a private school even if we could afford it. I am my Scottish ancestor's child and I believe with all my heart on public education - if it isn't good enough, I need to work with other like-minded parents and educators to make it so.
I would like to travel a little more freely though.
And so...to the revision process. This is where the problem I mentioned yesterday rears its ugly head. The problem of aggression and my lack of patience. I want to get a book published, not because I think it will make a great deal of difference in my $ life, I'm insecure not delusional, but because, on the social scene, it would make sense of my feckless seeming life. Ah, folks would exclaim, that's why she's suffering - for her art! And yes, it would make a difference to be published and suffering for my art. Otherwise, maybe I'm just plain crazy. Muttering away in my room about plots and revisions and all the correct buzz-words, but the poor dear never finishes anything - or if she does, it is of dubious value!

OK - got that out of my system. Now for the good news. Yesterday I did my two chapters. I walked with my pal. I sat and I did a wee wee bit of cleaning. I'm happy with the chapters I worked on, as I not only changed them from 1st to 3rd but I significantly changed some of them as to the changes I talked about yesterday. And it wasn't that hard. So, back at it today, Journal. Thanks for listening. You are swell!

Here's a photo from the walk...

The Strangest Things are Happening...

2011-10-15T12:07:00.000-03:00

My NaBlo posts are in the form of letters to my journal about my revision process. Along the way, I'll include Home-Made Revision Workshop posts, and my Friday Challenges.

Dear Journal,

What a glorious day! Sorry I took so long to get to you, but I lay about in bed reading a very fun book, called McCarthy's Pub by Pete McCarthy - a delicious and hilarious ramble through Cork by a fair funny lad. Then I got onto my cushion and meditated for an hour.

My plan today is to revise two of the ten chapters I have left (to change from 1st to 3rd); walk with my pal, Marion, and Hoagy; go to Peggy's Cove with Marion; and clean up this dumparooni a bit before the lad and I head out to celebrate a dear friend's 80th birthday. Not a bad day, all in all.

Yesterday I worked on three or four chapters (I'm not sure). I have some major changes going on and once I've decided on them, I can't just change the point of view - no, I had to go in and change how things went. Of course! And I'm happy with it. I made my protagonist a little more selfish and stuck - especially in the affair she enters into. Initially, it was some sort of idyllic romantic dream - a very sweet guy, and poor Libby, tragically left with a brain-injured husband and wanting some love. Nope! That is all gone. The guy is a sweet guy but Libby isn't a sweet victim. She cold-bloodedly seduces him because she wants sex without ties. She resists all intimacies with him and he is left irritated and baffled. Things will change later on, but I'm afraid her awakening won't include acceptance of her lover - maybe some amends will be made, but really he is not going to be part of the bigger picture.
One other aspect of the novel that I want to enrich, I've talked about a fair bit, these past few posts. I have the skeleton of it but I want it to take up much more room. And that is how Libby learns from the land by walking on it, and by the medicine woman, Teesa, who takes Libby in hand and gives her an education on Native healing techniques.
This is tremendously exciting to the writer in me - this is where revising turns into art, as opposed to copy editing.
My biggest problem, dear journal, is something I've mentioned before. I am in a hurry and this won't do. Speed is aggression, that I know for a fact. And I don't want to be aggressive with this story. I want it to be born when it is entirely ready to be born. And so, I must work with my mind, my longing to be published before I start getting my old age pension. Never mind, I tell that ambitious voice, this will be worth it, if you just slow down and take all the time you need.
And now, I'm off to work on my two chapters.
And for you, journal, and my dear readers - a photo I took the other day.

Friday Challenge - listening to the land

2011-10-14T06:00:00.002-03:00

My NaBlo posts are in the form of letters to my journal about my revision process. Along the way, I'll include Home-Made Revision Workshop posts, and my Friday Challenges.

Dear Journal,
I have been completely struck reading Sharon Butala's contemplations on land, how easily we can get disconnected from the earth, from the wild. How to remedy that? I feel a deep pervasive sorrow that even though I think I am a person who has an abiding affection for nature, I've let it become rote, I've become casual and off-hand with my connection to it. I've taken it for granted.
In my therapy practice, every client gets one piece of homework that is the same as every other client - and that is that they walk daily, near trees, and without companionship except for perhaps a well-behaved dog. When they notice they are worrying, fretting, planning the future, regretting the past - they are to instead notice their sensory connection to nature, and to their bodies. They are asked to bring their attention to what they can smell, what noises they hear, how their bodies feel moving through space, their feet landing on the path or side-walk. They are to lose their minds, and come to their senses.
I often give younger clients a suggestion to read Bruce Chatwin's Songlines - itself a contemplation on the natural goodness of walking, on healing nature and being healed by it.
I think this needs to be a more important voice in my novel. I am feeling my way towards it - it is in the book - in many different ways - how the protagonist finds herself abandoned by what she had depended on - a solid if sometimes empty marriage; a job that in itself had meaning but with which she had become cynical, an easy sense of material wealth. And how she finds instead something that doesn't seem to fit initially - a bothersome much bigger family, connections that want her heart not just her mind, work that is difficult but demands every aspect of her - engagement in all aspects of her life. And how this comes to her because she walks this land she had no understanding of - how the land teaches her.
So, dear journal and dear readers, the challenge for this Friday is to aimlessly wander in nature this weekend and listen to what it has to tell you. Clear your mind of any other agenda item - as you would if you were meeting a dear friend after a long absence. And listen. That's what I'll be doing.

the land that speaks to me the most.

How land insinuates itself into my work

2011-10-13T09:21:00.003-03:00

My NaBlo posts are in the form of letters to my journal about my revision process. Along the way, I'll include Home-Made Revision Workshop posts, and my Friday Challenges.

an aside: the photo from yesterday was not mine - it is by a Dutch guy who's name I couldn't fathom on his all Dutch site. He said it was OK to use it though - I'm being mega careful these days when people are so lah-di-dah about taking other's work. I'll try and find it and the link today. I need to look at photos as it is has been a long time since I was at the place I'm writing about. eek.

Dear Journal,
Yesterday I got one chapter done. I'm pleased though, because I had a very busy day. And I didn't use my hard-copy journal. No, I didn't. I did think about things and I have lots of ideas, but they are just ruminating around with the images and delight of reading more Sharon Butala. Now, I really want to go to the location.
Journal, I have a question for you or my subconscious. Why did my protagonist leave the delightful Nova Scotia location I know so well - near where I've lived for the past 35 years? What is it that I needed to work out here? To give you some context, I am an Air Force brat. I was born not too far from the area I'm writing about, in gorgeous Medicine Hat, Alberta. But we only lived there until I was two or maybe even younger. Then it was on to Rivers, Manitoba; Edmonton, Alberta; Osgoode and Ottawa, Ontario ; Colorado Springs, Colorado; Oakville, Ontario; and back to Ottawa. We didn't even go back to Alberta except to drive a few times to British Columbia. We would go to Manitoba but that isn't as far west. But still, that rolling prairie is in my blood. Both my parents are Manitobans - Manitoba is more farm, less ranch, though my Mum's mother was a ranch-wife in her second marriage. Yep, my grandma married a cowboy! Yeehaw! When I was a grown woman, my second husband and I moved from Nova Scotia to Vancouver Island, British Columbia. For the years I was there, he and I would ramble in the truck through the mountains, camping and hiking. We didn't go as far as the area I'm writing about - though Nelson, BC, also figures in this novel and we went there a number of times, and even considered moving there.
I seriously tried to get my protagonist to stay in Nova Scotia but she is even more stubborn than me, and so insisted on moving to Alberta less than half-way through the book. And before that, she visited for a couple of chapters. I felt bad that I was writing about a place that I don't know that well, and about the Blackfoot which I know not at all, except through writings and research. I say felt instead of feel because I don't feel that way any more. I've given in to her desire to be on that land - the land becomes a very important part of the story.
Because of a reversal of fortune in our lives, my guy and I won't be travelling to Paris and Basque this spring - perhaps I can somehow get a grant to travel to Alberta. Any ideas out there?
And now, I must get to work. I'll give you a photo I took of the prairies near where my Dad grew up.

Pigs in Space...or Quilt Wrestling Live!

2011-10-12T07:15:00.000-03:00

My NaBlo posts are in the form of letters to my journal about my revision process. Along the way, I'll include Home-Made Revision Workshop posts, and my Friday Challenges.

Dear Journal,

Here it is the 12th day of October, everything is humming right along. I got about five chapters revised yesterday - yep, you read that right - 5 chapters! Lately I've been waking really early. Today it was 5:15 AM. Why? I have no idea. I wake up, the man is still snoring away (he gets up, usually before me, at 5:45). I patter downstairs, make coffee, put Hoagy on his line, grab a cup, nestle into the couch for a little early reading. But. But I don't feel like reading. I feel like getting this thing done. Today I have four meetings - not clients but meetings - stretching from 11 this morning and the last one is at 7 pm. I have big stretches of time in-between. I have a tiny laptop - I could take it with my magic stick with the updated file on it. But I'm not sure I will. Sometimes it works, sometimes when I'm first drafting, or doing beat sheets, but this, this meticulous looking at one damn word after another. NO. Think I'll take my hard copy journal and write about some major changes I'm contemplating with the story. And the lace shawl I'm knitting. OK, that is settled. I was feeling bad because I bought the little laptop just for days like today and normally, I'm pretty sure, I'd be happy to take it. But it is the picky revision stuff - especially since it is a trifle more difficult on a smaller keyboard, no mouse, and so on.
Journal? Do you want to know the changes I'm thinking of? You do? OK, then. It might be good for me to hear them out-loud - well not really out-loud and not really hear but you know.
Libby's father, Chip Bruce, is an important figure in the book. He left Libby, her mum and her three sisters when Libby was about 9. She has recently seen him again. She and her husband,Palmer go and meet his other family in south-western Alberta. Libby wants to know how her father could have left the five of them, and had a whole other family. I have his reason, and it is pretty compelling I think. It doesn't come out until near the end of the book, but last night I realized there was another reason that could come out sooner. Chip is one-half aboriginal. His mother was a member of the Blackfoot Tribe, and when he leave's his first family, he has already established another family back near where he grew up - a Blackfoot family. I think I need to explore how tied to that particular land Chip is. Not just his heritage, his 2nd family with problems complicated by their status as Aboriginals, but the way that particular land, with its layers of history, draws him, and in turn draws Libby.
Yep, that'll work. I think I know how to do this. I'm always surprised that in a big fat book, OK, even a medium fat book, it doesn't take a lot of words to bring a different element in. Probably just one small scene and a few references.
Thanks journal! I don't know what I'd do without you to talk to.

Here's a picture of the land I'm talking about...

PS - you're right, Journal, I never mentioned Pigs in Space or Quilt Wrestling Live...later.

Nothing is lost to the writer

2011-10-11T10:03:00.001-03:00

My NaBlo posts are in the form of letters to my journal about my revision process. Along the way, I'll include Home-Made Revision Workshop posts, and my Friday Challenges.

Dear Journal,

Well, that's over with for another year. We had a lovely Thanksgiving Dinner, though not traditional. We had a big pork roast, mashed potatoes, gravy, carrots and parsnips, red cabbage and apples, huge salad, green beans and for dessert - pumpkin pie, red berry crumble, cheesecake and ice cream. Yay! And you know what, dear journal? I made NOTHING. The dear guy with a bit of help from the step-dot did quite a bit; the step-dot's mum brought the crumble and the green beans, Gwen (who just arrived for writing Tuesday) brought a honking big salad and the red cabbage dish and dear guy's nephew brought a Sarah Lee cheesecake. Yay! I vacuumed, swept up mountainous dog hair and organized the moving of the giant dining room table (it is from an Air Force Mess). We added another smaller table and had room for twelve.

As well, during the day, I revised one chapter. It was more than just turning it from 1st to 3rd - I guess they all are - but this one in particular. It was a small chapter but I made it smaller and considered throwing it out. The fact that I didn't means that I found its use and shined it up.

Today, Gwen is here, and I will spend at least three hours on revisions. Today I plan to just mow through as many chapters as I can and also, maybe, talk to Gwen about some character enriching. I might look at some of my more descriptive chapters - the ones where my protagonist is walking in the prairie land of southwestern Alberta. I'm reading a very compelling book by Sharon Butala about the land she inhabits in southwestern Saskatchewan, Wild Stone Heart, and it has given me some ideas! If you haven't read this writer - do! This book is a meditation on her part of the world, and it is comparable to Pilgrim at Pincher's Creek by Annie Dillard - especially the sensuousness of the writing and the bringing in of so much history and understanding of what a piece of land can teach us.

I guess, journal, that my learning for today will be that everything is of use to the writer. Experiences as a householder; the books we read for enjoyment, diversion, or learning; and the environment that we inhabit - all grist for the writer's mill.

Six things I know to be true about revising

2011-10-10T08:40:00.000-03:00

My NaBlo posts are in the form of letters to my journal about my revision process. Along the way, I'll include Home-Made Revision Workshop posts, and my Friday Challenges.

Dear Journal,
Today is Thanksgiving Day. After being on the planet for 59 years - close to 60 - I now know that Thanksgiving is always on the 2nd Monday of October. Doesn't seem to difficult to figure out, does it? It eluded me until this year. I kept thinking it was a lunar date like Easter, but couldn't see why it was. How did I get it this year? I said to myself 'Self, I'm sick of not knowing this basic thing - find out - remember!' and so I did.

Are there things out in the world that you'd like to know, but you haven't let them morph from irritations to must-knows? In the past few years I've set myself to learning a few of these things (bigger than the Thanksgiving one). I used to think I couldn't bake - now I make upside-down plum cake, chocolate hazelnut torte, sticky-vodka-chilli-pepper-almond cake (a real grown-up treat) and 12th Night Cake, among other complicated confections. Oh, I always cooked but baking was mysterious. Nope, it wasn't - I just had to follow instructions. And I learned to knit - now I'm knitting lace - the epitome of tricky knitting. Same thing - didn't think I could follow a pattern. But I can. I've put down my accordion of late but I'll pick it up - I was really getting somewhere with Oh My Darling Clementine. It was hard - made my brain hurt but good too.

Now we come to revisions. I didn't have the faintest clue as to what they really were. Oh, sure I knew I had to clean up my manuscript but like knitting and cake making - it all seemed so dry and mathematical and boring. But like those things, when I got down to it - I realized it wasn't. It is thrilling to apply some principles, exertion and patience and get something less than wildly madcap - more Peter Carey than Jack Kerouac - but still magical.

Here are the 6 key things I've learned in my revision process:

1. Like cooking, you must have some sort of plan of attack and the discipline to use it Unlike baking, you are free to change the plan but if you just go in with some hazy idea of 'making things better', you will make a dog's dinner of it - not a saleable manuscript. The discipline will apply to not only the plan of attack but the how of it - I will spend 2 hours a day or revise three chapters or 35 pages.

2. You must apply exertion - joyful exertion. This isn't digging ditches but it is somewhat less exciting than the heady days of getting that first draft down. It is good to decide you will revise so much (two chapters seems to work for me) a day and really do it. The joy comes when you use your discipline and your inner grit together. Joy will rise up in you - I promise.

3. You must apply patience - a singular lack of aggression. This will be slower than you'd like - or that is how it is for me. Keep all dreams of being published out of your brain pan. Keep your brain pan only full of little sticky notes like 'weed out clichés' 'pare down the prose' 'cut by 10%'. When you realize that your big fat-headed, impatient, author-to-be is yelling in your face - calm him or her down. "Sweetheart, we have work to do - then we'll write our Giller acceptance speech."

4. You must apply mindfulness. A simple rule will help with this. If it isn't on the page and the story needs it - put it down. That doesn't mean you need to make your manuscript simplistic or condescending. It means that you shouldn't be all mysterious for the sake of your subtle brilliance. If you need your readers to know that your protagonist is shy - you must show her being shy somewhere. Mindfulness is both micro and macro. Look close - down on the bug level of the lawn of your work - does that word work? - should I make this a separate paragraph? - and from up on the highest branch - why should readers care about this person? - will readers get my theme?

5. You need to apply generosity. This is part of the macro-editing or revision process for sure. Being generous in writing means that you have a heart-reason why you write - this is the time to remember it. Writing is the gift of showing others your view of the world. Don't be coy, or falsely modest - if you didn't have something burning in you to share, you wouldn't create an entire universe in loving detail to do so.

6. You must apply the sword of insight. Why a sword? Because this is where you cut through your dreamy fuzzy thinking about your work to expose the true story. It is when you kill your darlings, wake up to the pith of what you are saying and say it. It is the sword that will cut away all that is not clear to reveal your story in blinding, brilliant clarity. It is very hard to wield this sword but the more you work with it - the easier it will get.

These six things I know to be true. For those of you who want to know my inspiration - as always the six paramitas of Buddhist practice are inherent in these truths.

It goes...it does

2011-10-09T09:05:00.000-03:00

My NaBlo posts are in the form of letters to my journal about my revision process. Along the way, I'll include Home-Made Revision Workshop posts, and my Friday Challenges.

Dear Journal,

It was a lovely gathering last night at Deborah's - excellent food - turkey, roast beef, endless and wildly yummy side dishes, pies and cakes and wine and chat. It was warm enough for some of us to sit outside on the deck. There was a very eclectic group - though, as my dear guy pointed out, mainly Buddhist. We didn't stay late, the drive home always sobering. I was the D.D., which was great as I'm still watching what I ingest - the diet is on hold over this feast of eating however!

Today is a funny sort of middle day - no one coming for dinner - no place we're going. I like it. I want to putter in the kitchen for tomorrow's feast here, clean up the joint, and write. Oh, and clean the chicken coop (ick!).

Yesterday I got a fair bit done, surprisingly, and I want to keep on keepin' on. I have 19 chapters (125 pages) to convert from 1st to 3rd and also, the other stuff I want to do - enrich characters, eliminate those bits that are just me thinking on the page and don't add to the story, strengthen themes, and clarify clarify clarify. I have thought this would be a separate thing from the putting from first to third but other than the first item of character and perhaps that of themes - I'm doing it all at once. I'm done being surprised at how I do things! I want to let go to the process.

It is another gorgeous day on the planet - I'l talk to you tomorrow, dear journal.

Dear Journal - what am I missing?

2011-10-08T13:33:00.000-03:00

My NaBlo posts are in the form of letters to my journal about my revision process. Along the way, I'll include Home-Made Revision Workshop posts, and my Friday Challenges..

Dear Journal,
I didn't want to talk to you today. Oh, I'm not mad at you or anything like that. It's just that it is the long weekend - Thanksgiving - here in Canada. I want to putter in the kitchen - make another upside down plum cake, and something with leeks. I went to the market with step-dot and it was full of people who, like me, are having a deeply domestic moment. My dear guy is in the kitchen making his world famous (OK Halifax famous) apple pie. We're invited to a big dinner tonight and everyone will be expecting it. I'll make a leek dish which will enjoy less fame but that's OK. On Monday night, we'll have our own Thanksgiving dinner. No turkey - we have a roast of beef and a lamb shoulder. We've got lots of veggies and Ron will make apple and pumpkin pie. I'll make Parmesan stars and goat cheese with walnuts. Step-dot's mother and brother are coming and they'll bring goodies too.

The weather is PERFECT! The air warmish but with just enough bite to remind you it is fall, the leaves starting to colour, and the glorious weedy flowers of autumn everywhere. I'm going to take Hoagy for a stroll in the woods very shortly.
Life seems rich and good - we are still living with the bad news of last week but we never lost sight of what was important so we aren't so gutted as we were.
But I need to write. Have to. So dear journal, I am missing my hungry self this minute - I'm too fat and happy. I will do what I need to - I'll get through two chapters this afternoon. And it is more of a struggle to do so when I am content than when I am in the pits of hell. Weird, huh?
The original Thanksgiving, so I read today, was not in Puritan America but much earlier. And the first thanksgiving in both Canada and United States was in thanks for a safe crossing. I'll be celebrating that safe crossing too - the crossing of the turbulent force of a reversal of fortune, wherein the true treasure was revealed to be, like in Dorothy's quest, before me all the while.
Pardon me while I click my heels and find myself at home, with folks I love, and lots to eat.

Dear Journal - a Friday Challenge

2011-10-07T10:19:00.000-03:00

Oh dear. It's Friday so I need to write a challenge and it is the 7th day of NaBlow so I need to write a letter to my journal...anything else happening? No - it isn't the first Wednesday so I'm good for insecurity for another three and a half weeks - OK - I'm ready to go now.

Dear Journal,
I know I'm supposed to be writing you about my revision but I'm not going to today. I'm writing you about the care and feeding of a writer. And it will include the Friday Challenge.

Friday Challenge: print the following Care & Feeding of a Writer hand-out and give it to a loved one. If you are between loved ones, give it to your inner Parent Ego-State. Don't worry if you don't know what this is - your inner Parent Ego-State knows.

The Care & Feeding of a Writer

If you are the loved one of a writer (or the P E-S) then this is for you. Taking on a Writer is an onerous but exciting process. Congratulations on your bold endeavour! This short hand-out will help you in the days ahead so you can best enjoy the capricious nature of your Writer and keep them healthy and relatively sane. Here are four tips for you:

Without letting the Writer know you are nosing about (they are extremely sensitive and protective of their work) find out which stage the writer is at with their current project. Are they appearing dishevelled, distraught and a bit smelly? They are probably writing their first draft. If they growl when you mention that they are writers in front of guests - they are definitely writing their first draft. If they are gloomy, abstract and self-critical, they are in revision. If they are mumbling, eating and drinking bad substances and randomly shrieking - they are waiting to hear back from an agent or publisher.
If they are in first draft mode - make them snacks that have lots of protein but don't look like real food - walnuts, chunks of cheese, steak bits, chicken wings are all good choices. Put these on trays outside their writing lair. Exercise at this point will be refused. Pacing will have to do.
If they are in revision mode - make sure you take them out for a daily walk. Encourage physical exercise by mentioning the exercise traits of established writers. Make it up if you have to. Meals must be established during this phase as well.
If they are in waiting mode - accompany them to the bar and let them rant for hours about the stupidity of the publishing world. If they are drinking alcohol during this phase - try and at least make it Bloody Ceasars or Marys so they get some vegetables. Drag them to writerly events so they can blow off steam with other writers.

On the slowness of revision

2011-10-06T09:38:00.000-03:00

My NaBlo posts are in the form of letters to my journal about my revision process. Along the way, I'll include Home-Made Revision Workshop posts, and my Friday Challenges..

Dear Journal,
Patience is a virtue - or so I'm told. But it isn't one of mine. Hmmm....I just thought for a minute and realized, that in some circumstances, it is one of mine. I am very patient with my clients. I am patient with older folks and younger folks - it is with myself I am not very patient. This, dear journal, is something I need to foster with my work. I'm proud of how I've kept myself from throwing True out there, into the cold cruel world, too early. Until the pitch the publisher - nobody in the publishing or agenting world had seen a bit of it. I really care about this work and don't want to rush it. I get anxious though - I want someone to pick me up and carry me into the land of published writers - but not by any other means than by having a book that deserves it.
Yesterday I had a bunch of clients and chores. I got no revising done. Today and tomorrow it is much the same. I might get part of a chapter put into third person, before I leave for work. I have to walk the mutt and hang out some clothes too - we are having a clear day and we have no dryer. It is imperative to use the elements when they are present!
And revising is a slow slow process - at least for me. I write without outlines, not knowing anything before my characters do, or only just. My first draft is me telling me the story. Like a teenager telling a movie plot, it is full of 'and thens' and 'after that the trouble started' and other goofy place holders. The last draft I did was clearing up, but there is still lots to refine - lots of gleaning to do. Finally, I know the story. I have it, and I can thank the false deadline of the pitch the publisher exercise for that. Now I want others to have it as clearly as it is for me. And that, my friends, gets done one blazingly tiny word at a time.
So, journal? Be nice to me, OK? I'll get to it - and my dream is that I have most of it done by the end of this month - ready for submission - but that might not happen - and I'll just have to let it be.

Revising and the insecure writer

2011-10-05T00:02:00.000-03:00

My NaBlo posts are in the form of letters to my journal about my revision process. Along the way, I'll include Home-Made Revision Workshop posts, and my Friday Challenges..

Dear Journal,
Hi, my name is Jan and I'm an insecure writer. Oh, I know you don't believe me. You think I'm just trying to fit in with the new in-crowd, but you're wrong. I am insecure at writing and perhaps even more with revising. You see, I believe that revising separates the sheep from the goats (hi Elspeth's sheep!!!). I don't know if a writer is a sheep or a goat but today, of all days, insecure writers' day, I'm saying that a writer is a goat and not a sheep. Why? Well because goats eat anything and live off of it. Same as writers. Exactly. Why today, just today, dear journal, I ate an old tire, some sh*t (don't ask, won't tell), and my bank statement. Why? You may well ask. The tire is obvious for you alert journals, the second item I've already said I won't comment on, and the bank statement - that was dessert. If I wasn't a writer and a reviser I might have said that it was desert, but that would be wrong. Why would a bank statement be a big sandy hot area with a cartoon guy crawling across it, saying in balloon speak "water...water...just a bit of water..."? Some other reasons that writers are goats and not sheep. We smell. It's true. I know we don't like to admit it but when we are deep in revisions, showers are just another pesky thought. Plus we eat popcorn with garlicky oil on it (no - not butter, we're on a diet!) and parmesan with that nice old sock odour. And the third reason we're like goats and not like sheep is that we can't sleep. We're always jumping around on mountains trying to find something, anything, to write about. If we were sheep we'd count ourselves and sleep. I can't sleep - that's why I'm writing this in my journal pretending it is Wednesday - oh - it is almost Wednesday - just 13 more minutes and it will be - then I can put the compost out and maybe go to sleep. I might have a cigarette. On the deck, in the driving cold rain. That would make me feel like a writer and I would definitely smell like a goat. Then I couldn't go to sleep and I could work on fleshing out my main character in the revision I'm doing. Good idea. By the way, Mari and Tartlette, I'm not blunking or drogging or any one of those elvish words. I'm just really really really tired. Because I'm a goat, an insecure writing, revising goat and baaaaaah (oh come on - I heard four goats today and that is just how they sound - the sheep copied them - they ARE sheep ya know).
Sometimes when people ask me what I'm "up to" (very suspiciously I might add) I will tell them I'm a writer and go blah blah blahing about 'what I'm working on' and how hard it is to find 'real publishers' these days. But don't kid yourself, journal, I'm still being insecure when I do that. Yes, I am. I'm blowing a lot of hot air. The thing is that when I'm finally a 'published writer' I won't ever say that. I'll slip it in real cool. "Yes, I'm working on my twelfth book. Uh...well only one's been published, but I AM working on my twelfth book. I'll be so secure. Then every first Wednesday of every month I'll write a Secure Writers' Post. Ha! OK, I'm going out on the deck to smoke now. See you tomorrow, I mean today.

Down to it...revising through a shit storm

2011-10-04T09:51:00.001-03:00

My NaBlo posts are in the form of letters to my journal about my revision process. Along the way, I'll include Home-Made Revision Workshop posts, and my Friday Challenges..

Dear Journal,
Yesterday I got the first two of twenty-five chapters put into third person. My chapters not being of an even nature, made this a longer process than I'd thought - one was a very long chapter indeed. I went off to work, planning to do the character enrichment of Libby in the afternoon. Nope. Instead I found out some bad news to do with a court case. It has had me down but I'll get up. But today, I'm a bit rocky. So, I would like to go to bed with a mystery - reading a kick-ass noir right now, called Fun & Games by Duane Swierczynski, but I'm not going to. I'm going to go back to my revision schedule. I have three hours of writing I can do and I'm going to do it. Because I'm a writer, not a victim.
Tomorrow, journal, is another day.

Today is the day....

2011-10-03T09:03:00.000-03:00

My NaBlo posts are in the form of letters to my journal about my revision process. Along the way, I'll include Home-Made Revision Workshop posts, and my Friday Challenges...

Dear Journal,
Today is the day that I begin the process I wrote about yesterday. Yesterday I finished putting in the last of edits from Carolyn. Today I will change two chapters (of 25) from 1st to 3rd person. A few people have mentioned that this seems like a huge deal. It isn't. It isn't really a point of view change, except in the most technical sense. The book will still be in the voice of Libby- nothing in it that she doesn't experience or remember. The reason that I'm doing this switch is that it suddenly occurred to me, after I had finished the first draft, that 3rd person, in this case, was more intimate. I cannot explain to you why this is but perhaps some of you have experienced a similar happening. It also allows me more perspective.The readers can watch what Libby does, from a cool reserve, and then move to Libby's interior thoughts. It is a great way to build tension.
The other task I have for today is to see where I have not rounded out - on the page - Libby's character. I have it full blown in my mind and I need to find those places that leave the reader guessing in a not good way!
I'm excited to get onto this part of the revision process. As usual, I will be moving back and forth between the floor and the balcony as I work. And I will be cutting, cutting, cutting. I'm getting deliciously ruthless in my paring down process. Next, I'll move up to my clothes-closet and start in there!
Hope everyone is enjoying NaBloWriMo. I am. If you want to find out who else is involved - click on the lovely pumpkin to your left and you'll find us all in the side-bar!

It rains...

2011-10-02T09:39:00.000-03:00

My NaBlo posts are in the form of letters to my journal about my revision process. Along the way, I'll include Home-Made Revision Workshop posts, and my Friday Challenges...

Dear Journal,
It is Sunday and it is raining. The chickens don't want out of their coop, the dog is dozing on his cushion, the step-dot is doing whatever it is she does up in her room, and sweet patootie is downstairs looking at bills (or playing solitaire). The bunch of us (except the chickens) were going to drive to Chester and take the ferry to Tancook Island for a boo around, but we're not. And so, my friend, I am going to spend a good couple of hours on my revisions.
Today I have two goals - finish the edits on the last chapter - and map out how I'm going to proceed. What makes sense is to keep on slogging with putting the remaining chapters into third person and then looking at the overall changes I want to make. I think, in order not to get too bored, I'll probably have a schedule where I change two chapters a day (of 25) and then look at one element a day that needs major work. Let me give you an example - it really helps to think out loud like this. So we'll say this new regime starts tomorrow. I'll put chapters 12 and 13 into 3rd person and I'll begin contemplating how I can enrich my protagonist, Libby. I'll probably see who I think she is and how that is ACTUALLY manifesting in my work. This will take quite awhile (two weeks perhaps), at which time I'll be through the changing of chapters. These are the elements I want to focus on in October:
1. character - how my characters are revealed, what needs to be beefed up or pared down, who is not becoming three dimensional and is that OK or do they need to go - and like that.
2. plot - the plot is not a huge part of this story - but I need to see if the story arc is actually there and how I can make each part of it, not only plausible, but inevitable
3. theme - are my themes apparent while avoiding being too obvious? How can I enhance them if need be or eliminate too many cropping up (the Oprah book selection syndrome, I call it)!
4. conflict, suspense and all that good stuff. I think this is the timing of when things occur in the book and I know a few places where I need to tighten this up - either by quickening the pace or slowing it down. I'm sure there will be more places than I've imagined.
5. dialogue - this is not much of a problem for me, coming from a playwriting background, however - I still need to check for hyperbole and too much obfuscation.
6. Clarity - where have I written scenes involving undepicted action or with vague description, knowing what I mean but not sharing it with my readers?

As I do any of this, including switching the 25 chapters from first to third person, I will be paying attention to micro-editing - polishing, paring, weeding out the shite clichés that litter those chapters that haven't been considered enough. Back and forth - between the balcony and the floor - I will dash.
I'm off now - to begin! Talk to you tomorrow...
.

And We're Off!

2011-10-01T16:19:00.001-03:00

Today is the first day of NaBloWriMo and I'm in. I wasn't going to then I was then I wasn't then I was. I work better with a theme and if I'm doing a bit of teaching and entertaining entwined. This blog is dedicated to my writing life (check my side-bar for other blogs I write or co-write). I will be writing a daily journal about my revision process. I will keep it short and pithy, I promise. I will also include my Home-Made Revision Workshops, as we go along, and of course my Friday Challenges. If you're new to my site and are interested in either of these things - go to my side-bar of categories and click away.

October 1, 2011

Dear Journal,
Last weekend was such a marathon of getting my pitch to the publishers ready - the pitch itself, a longer (but still concise) synopsis and the first chapter of True - all polished and shiny - that I must say this week wasn't a stellar one in getting back to the ~~slog~~ delight of my revision. I did manage several hours on both Tuesday and Wednesday.. Today, nothing. I have one chapter - eight pages - left to put the edits in from the manuscript that Caroline edited. That means every chapter will have been touched but I still have...wait a sec. while I go look - 17 chapters - 168 pages - to put into 3rd person. That'll take me very little time - the hardest chapters were where I did both at once (edits and switch). I'm thinking I can do this in roughly two weeks, maybe less. Then, in the true spirit of living my life backwards, I will do the big macro changes. Don't even yell at me - I'm impervious - I know it is too weird, but that's how she's rolling.
What are the big changes that I'm envisioning? The most work will be creating more vivid main characters. I will also be looking at where I can increase tension. This isn't a thriller or a mystery but it still needs tension. I will continue to do the micro edits - paring down the verbiage, replacing the clichéd phrases with zingy fresh metaphors, and looking at the structure of each sentence, paragraph and chapter. I will be running between the balcony (macro) to the dance floor (micro) and I will get nice and skinny doing so. OK, so I won't - I'll get nice and skinny if I stay on this diet!
That's it for today's entry, dear journal. I'll be back tomorrow and will have time to do some ACTUAL revising.

Friday Challenge - dreamtime

2011-09-30T08:36:00.001-03:00

Now that I've been crafting the Home-Made Revision Workshop for all of you who are doing that - I really want to focus the Friday Challenge on the bigger artistic picture. My imagination is that we are all together during the week, attending with great precision to our work, taking little breaks to eat and chat and then going back at it. On Fridays, a larger group joins us. Some of them are writers, some are visual artists, and some are creatives, pure and simple. Fridays is for getting out of our writing cubicles, walking in the world, and seeing why we do what we do.

This Friday (or the Friday of your life you can do this, which may well be a Saturday or a Wednesday), I want you to walk. Notice what you notice with your senses - what you taste, smell, how your legs feel moving through space, the colours of the leaves and weeds and the sounds of the critters, or neighbours (or neighbours who are critters). After your mind has settled with this practice, I want you to walk dreaming. By that I mean I want you to dream about some project you are working on, or hope to work on, and how it lives in the world. Perhaps you are working on a mystery and in it, you have a teen who is challenged in some way - in a wheel chair, deaf, or autistic. Maybe your mystery doesn't star this person - but nonetheless they are present. And you show them overcoming this adversity, and surprising their friends and family, by doing something no one thought they could do. Then you might imagine a teen reading this, or an old person, or a depressed middle-aged woman. All of them experience a lift in their hearts and spirits when they read this. Imagine that it allows them to rise up to meet some challenge in their own lives.

Yes, fiction can change people. So can songs - a friend of mine going through a terrifically horrendous time, was saved from taking her own life when she heard the lyrics sung by Rita McNeil - Rise Again. I have been raised up by paintings - ineffable images that cheered my dark mood, or at least let me know I wasn't alone. Sometimes it might be a meal that a friend lovingly puts together, with all elements designed to please and warm. Imagine your work creating this gap in some one's suffering and know that I'm not talking fuzzy kittens here. Your work could come from a dark place in yourself - might be complex and the farthest thing from cheery AND it could still cause another's heart to ease.

Red Deer by Barbara Berry

We have this painting in our home and I can tell you that it changed my life and continues to.

I know, I know - this is corny. But why do you write or paint or create music or design buildings or envision any project? Do you not want to help create enlightened society? I believe you do. So dream it first - visualize it, so your very being will be reminded as to why you struggle with your art.

Revising - a home-made workshop - Lesson 3 - language

2011-09-29T08:41:00.000-03:00

Today, at the home-made workshop, we're going to discuss language. Language is obviously a micro-editing matter. The elements it incorporates are clarity, authenticity, repetitions and so on. But more than the sum of these parts, language is voice. And voice is a learned thing. We need to liberate ourselves from acquired mannerisms, aesthetic habits, and ticks of a lifetime, in order to write freshly and truly. Voice is very personal, of course, and we don't need to kill our own voice - we just need to look at it with a slightly jaundiced eye. For instance, I like repeating words, I like quirky old-fashioned phrases from the forties, I like ending sentences with a preposition. I can use some of these sparingly, but if I make my characters have all the same ticks that I do, well - that isn't voice - that is laziness. If I don't make sure my repetitions aren't some faux finish I put on my words - that do not serve the story - then I'm affected not effective as a writer.
As I revise, I need to hunt out tired clichés - in my mad dash to get the story down, I will have written hundreds of them. That's OK. I don't beat myself up over it - I know that they are holding the place for my thoughtful revision. I need to pare down my language- not over weigh sentences with too many stunningly gorgeous words. I need to vacuum up all the tiny words that clog my sentences - that, in spite of the fact, in order to, I would argue that - and so on. I might add and so on to the list! I will be hunting the passive and flaccid word choices - the 'ing' words, the 'to be' that slow the reader and rob the phrases of the muscular robustness that I desire.
In this revision, I will look for those words that irritate me, or, conversely, that I'm over proud of. The artificial, pretentious, and gimmicky, must be banished.
Today, those of you who are revising, take a small piece of your work - a page or two - and look for those words, lurking in unedited prose, that need to go - or be changed to tighter and brighter ones.

Pitching the Publisher, take two...

2011-09-27T10:54:00.001-03:00

On Sunday, I went to Halifax's Word on the Street - a gathering of writers, publishers, readers, and all those who love the written word. This year, it was down on the waterfront and we had a glorious sunny SUMMER day for the event. It has moved around in all the years they've held it - on Spring Garden Rd. - like a big sidewalk sale - raining torrents, buckets. Not a happy event. At a pier - inside, good, but a little sterile. Last year it was in a downtown park - meaning that they could have tents but you could still hear ambulances etc... perfect! The wharf was good if a a bit squishy. The pitch to the publishers was held in a room in the Maritime Museum. The room was packed and I was beat. I'd spent days readying my submission, refining my pitch (thank you Babes for your editorial and sartorial advice!) and fretting. For why? This event is put on by the Atlantic Publishers. For you out of the area - this means nothing, I'm sure. For us? We.........ll....it means a very few publishers indeed.

We do not know what publishers are going to attend. This year, I think, we got some very good ones. Two of them were on last years panel. You may recall that last year I won for the best pitch to the publishers. But it was a victory leached of all glory because I'd pitched a mystery and none of the three publishers present published genre fiction. This year I pitched a mainstream novel (maybe it teeters on the edge of literary but that isn't my decision). I didn't win but I gave a great pitch - had the works - a bit of the plot, some sense of my style and my delivery was solid. Now, I cross my fingers and hope that one of them is interested. Or do I? I'm not sure. I know that one of the imprints publishes fiction with a social justice theme. It would be stretching it to say mine does that. It does address the problems that the poor and aboriginal among us face, but is that the theme? No. One of the publishers present represents a very polished company. They probably publish more books than any other in the region in the fiction line. And the third is a small publisher who's owner is a wonderful guy. I'd love to work with him but I'm not sure I'm cutting edge enough.
So, what was the purpose? For me, it was the push to get a good package ready - if you pitch, you can leave your package with the publishers, and they'll give it a boo. Now I have that. In the readying process I got a concise idea of what my story is and how to highlight its alluring qualities. I worked with my editor to make sure the first chapter was absolutely what I wanted it to be - word by word.
Now, we'll just see.
I'll continue to revise and polish. I'll start sending out more packages to agents and publishers. I'm getting this baby ready to meet the world. I'll pay attention to everything those three publishers said about everyone's pitch. Things like "we want to know there is a whole story there", "if you have a quirky idea - we need to know you have the chops to deliver it" and "we want to know that we can sell it and you know who your market is". Other gems will come to me in the days to come and I will share them with you, dear readers.

Now, back to work!

PS: I'm over at the Burrowers today - have a boo!

Friday Challenge - take a mini-holiday

2011-09-23T09:53:00.000-03:00

Sure, I know. Holidays are done. If you didn't get one in this summer because you had to work, or you had no dough, or well...just because...maybe you're a bit cranky. Or you took a holiday but it rained the whole time, or you missed your chickens ...maybe you're a bit blue. Or you took a holiday and it was everything you ever wanted in one...the sun shone, the porpoises leapt, the museums amused..but it was over to soon and....maybe you're a bit nostalgic. Well, here at Crazy Jane's, we have just the antidote. I want all of you, dear readers, to take a mini-holiday. It could be an hour, it could be a day, it could be a weekend. Go somewhere near where you live but that you never go to. Maybe it is too touristy, too kitchy, or just too home-grown for you to appreciate. But not for this challenge it isn't!
Here are some ideas - if you live in a city that has a ferry - take it to the other side. Walk around and look at that other side (in Halifax that would be Dartmouth), stroll the streets like it is the most exciting place you've ever been. Have a tea in a teashop that you've never paid attention to, or in a fancy schmanzy hotel that you're scared of entering. Anyone can have tea!!
If you never go to your local museum or art gallery - go! Look at what's there with an unjaundiced eye.If you have more time, head out to the country, to the hills, to the beach, to the farmland, to the dales...go to a upick and pick whatever is pickable. Do a corn maze. Go antique shop rambling. And through all of it, keep your good writer's eye and ear working. Listen and look at what happens when you take yourself into the expected as if it were the unexpected. Believe me when I tell you - you'll be surprised.
If you can stay overnight somewhere do it in a type of lodging you wouldn't normally use. If you're a b&b type, find a funny little motel, or even a dodgy downtown hotel. Maybe you can go camping, or rent a trailer. Check it out.
Then bring it all home and pour it into whatever you're writing, or rewriting. Maybe you're doing sci fi - well, find out what it feels like to be an alien. Perhaps you're doing a cozy - do you spend much time in small villages? Perhaps you're writing about a place you can't get to, like I am. Well then, all places have some things in common - diners, locals, auctions, store owners - doesn't matter if it is Calcutta or Detroit - there are commonalities. Go! Now!

Revising - a home-made workshop - Lesson 2 - Theme

2011-09-22T10:03:00.001-03:00

Revising for theme is a macro-edit but it is odd, in that it will often reveal itself during the micro-editing you do. Theme - what is it? According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the leitmotiv is "a recurrent idea or image in a literary work." The leitmotiv, or thematic symbols, will, if used lightly, register with readers and add a richness to your story, beyond the plot and characters. It will give your work its deeper meaning, like incense offerings enriches the religious ceremony.
Let's say you have several leitmotivs in your work. Let's say I do - I do! I have a medicine bag, hawks and the softness or hardness of landscape in the three locations in the novel. The first two are a bit obvious and I will probably take them down a notch or two as I revise. The last is too subtle and I may try and work it in a bit more throughout the piece. The themes they address are healing, in the case of the medicine bag; wisdom and the freedom it brings, by the hawk presence; and the landscapes reflect the choices Libby has in how she chooses to consider her life.
When we revise, our symbolic patterns become apparent. I think we put them in with some unconsciousness - but we need to polish them and reveal them with finesse. Susan Bell in The Artful Edit, suggests you might highlight them in your text and then see if there are imbalances. She warns "Quantity is not the only issue. Read through your draft to make sure every symbolic image integrates into your text, and does not sit on top as decoration."

Take a piece of writing and have a look at it - see if your leitmotiv shows up subtly or clumsily and what you can do to integrate it smoothly.
And as always - let me know!